Confessions of a Reluctant Caregiver

The Voluntold Caregiver: One Man’s Journey of Helping His Parents


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David O'Leary had never seen himself as a caregiver but found himself in that role when his aging parents nominated him to be in charge of their affairs. As the next to youngest of 5 children, David was surprised by his parents' decision but stepped up to take on the responsibility. He organized his parents' paperwork and finances and helped care for his mother in her final years at home.

After losing his wife, David's father, Joe struggled with loneliness. But on a cruise in his 80s, Joe met and fell in love with another widow, Ellis. David supported their marriage, which brought Joe ten more happy years. When Joe passed, David kept his memory alive with Joe the Monkey, a stuffed animal, accompanying him as he settled his father's estate.

Throughout it all, David found rewards in caring for his family that outweighed any frustrations. He encouraged open conversations about planning with his now-adult sons, hoping to ease their future as caregivers. With humor and dedication, David approached his unexpected caregiver role with the same love and commitment he has had for his wife of 41 years. His story shows how caregiving brings families together across generations through life's challenges.


About David:

David O'Leary is a retired insurance executive with a long career in the industry. He is the fourth child out of five, with one older sister and three younger brothers. David has been married for nearly 41 years and has two adult sons. One of his sons is married, although, much to David’s chagrin, he does not have any grandchildren yet.

Connect with David:

Linked In: linkedin.com/in/dwoleary


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Confessions of a Reluctant CaregiverBy Natalie Elliott Handy and JJ Elliott Hill

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