Steve uses the "in tents/intense" dad joke pun... Jason is unaffected! And have YOU ever played a game where someone nearly got stabbed? Also, we think playing laser tag and/or paint ball with people who have played Call of Duty online ruins an otherwise mirthful time. Jason is convinced that timely intervention from an adult could have saved poor Piggy. Finally, psychological warfare is the best tactic against an uprising 6-year-old.

Steve shows Jason an extremely phallic gourd with another special surprise for keen-eyed viewers! Meanwhile, Steve's family also gathered underneath a Christmas swastika to celebrate the season and Jason has just so many questions. Finally, Jason's mom made tiny biscuits for Christmas one year and no, they never let her hear the end of it.

Truly, "while going to the M&M Store, I saw Captain America try to cold cock a dude" is the kind of thing that definitely shouldn't stay in Vegas. Also, if Steve Rogers drops an F-bomb, you know you're on the last page of the comic book. Riker is the kind of freak to hold down someone so his friend could pee on them and we all know it. Finally, Steve (the co-host of this show) is such a dad, OTHER giant teenage boys fall asleep on his shoulder during flights.

Jason is just not sorry that he hopes to never have to poop in a urinal. By the way, on Halloween, all toilets run the chance of being haunted, we assume by old turds? Jason's childhood box fan was haunted, or brought about other spirits to... breathe near him? It's not exactly a ghost hunt, people. Finally, redcoats, foreskins, it's all the same, just get ready to shoot someone!

Steve took his family skiing and assumed he would be the XTREME MASTER due to his prior snowboarding days. However, despite Jason's protestations to the contrary, once he found the right slope, Steve was hotdoggin' and sandwichin' and just being a really sexy snake. Finally, Jason thinks heaven's foyer is playing a 24/7 video of the worst fails of the new arrivals to the Pearly Gates. Just nards on stair rails all day and all night!

Patience is the last virtue a child displays when waiting to get into the family car. Also, car dealerships that aren't surrounded by other car dealerships are not to be trusted. And car salespeople come in all varieties of abilities but some appear to have none. Jason's father-in-law will laser focus on offending drivers and pinpoint his horn honk so there's no mistaking who is on the receiving end. And finally, being caught flipping someone off is tantamount to pants down caught cheating with someone else.

Jason finally talked to his new neighbors... while driving them to school one bus-less morning and just assumes they thought they were being kidnapped. Also, his thinly-veiled racism is really a callback to a joke from a previous episode (recorded the same night as this one), so he really was just making a bad joke and not a xenophobic one. And apparently, "Get your s*** and drive us to the school" is a universal sign between nations. Finally, Steve swears by Google Translate in trying to make things far less awkward for old people from other countries. Jason assumes AI will ruin that, too, though.

Jason took a few days to drive Miss Daisy while she attempted to drive him crazy. But earning non-traceable funds (for good deeds, no less!) is Jason's favorite kind of second Christmas, so the more the merrier! Finally, Steve is also considering a new job and has thought about being a Breaking Bad.

Steve's son is better than his dad in every measurable way (height, amount and quality of hair, sounds he makes in the bathroom in the morning), but he hasn't had to defend himself against bullies and that makes him weak. He's also producing content and CRUSHING IT. And Jason is very proud of his current urinary stream, thank you very much.

Both Jason and Steve want their kids and their kids' kids to treat this podcast like the journal they never kept. Jason's stool scare led to a whirlwind night wherein his butt made him $10 richer. And attempting to insert a... thing... in a place... led to a Three Stooges-esque comedy of errors that the hole family can enjoy!