We're relaunching with a new look, a new season, and the same great taste! Eww!

Jason's son made a new Chinese friend in the girl next door! Jason's friends (friend?) used to ask him to play video games for them, too! He swears to it! Both Steve and Jason wonder if the supermodels are all woke now! Steve is concerned that he can only name three supermodels! Jason's high school basketball team was warned not to... enjoy the Swimsuit Issue they'd smuggled onto the bus! Steve heard a guy complaining about not receiving his copy in his subscription!

Steve went to a live nativity (yes, around Christmas) and Jason questions whether God cares about that form of expressing His Son's birth or not. A poor shepherd in that same live nativity tried to deny the liveliness of a sheep... presenting to the gathered masses. The guys imagine that even searching for anuses under the auspices of it being for a podcast is probably frowned upon by society at large. Finally, Jason went big and killed it at his church's variety show so of course he wants recognition for it.

Jason's family is in a rut, but it's a fun rut? It's vacation time, after all!

Since he didn't trust his kids to talk him down from a panic attack 100 feet in the air, he instead trusted them to go on that ride by themselves. And it went pretty well! He also blamed his Switch 2 announcement woes on a certain Cheeto-faced racist dullard, making him a miserable pile of secrets for at least a day. We leave you with this might-as-well-be-a-quote from his exasperated kids, having ridden a Ferris wheel without him, explaining why they never waved back at him:

"We were looking at things that were inspiring, dad, not you."

Sunrise... sunset.

Steve isn't willing to remove clothing to physically capture and reserve a space because he doesn't care enough, I guess. Meanwhile, Steve and his wife trying to verbally occupy a space just look like a flash mob who lost most of their mob. To Jason, Shinney Quest sounds like a game where everything is fetch quests. Finally, the guys wonder if Joe works in a button-pushing factory, or a button-making factory... either way, he sounds pretty unmanageable.

Steve proved at Asian comedy night that yes, white people be crazy. Jason once drove over an hour to see someone's comedy set and he's pretty sure he didn't come off as too creepy. Also, Steve got too distracted by the rats to defend the women from the crackheads in what is apparently a regular experience in downtown Seattle. Finally, Steve wouldn't burn a Tesla, but he'd consider both numbers 1 and 2 on one. Buyer beware!

Steve uses the "in tents/intense" dad joke pun... Jason is unaffected! And have YOU ever played a game where someone nearly got stabbed? Also, we think playing laser tag and/or paint ball with people who have played Call of Duty online ruins an otherwise mirthful time. Jason is convinced that timely intervention from an adult could have saved poor Piggy. Finally, psychological warfare is the best tactic against an uprising 6-year-old.

Steve shows Jason an extremely phallic gourd with another special surprise for keen-eyed viewers! Meanwhile, Steve's family also gathered underneath a Christmas swastika to celebrate the season and Jason has just so many questions. Finally, Jason's mom made tiny biscuits for Christmas one year and no, they never let her hear the end of it.

Truly, "while going to the M&M Store, I saw Captain America try to cold cock a dude" is the kind of thing that definitely shouldn't stay in Vegas. Also, if Steve Rogers drops an F-bomb, you know you're on the last page of the comic book. Riker is the kind of freak to hold down someone so his friend could pee on them and we all know it. Finally, Steve (the co-host of this show) is such a dad, OTHER giant teenage boys fall asleep on his shoulder during flights.

Jason is just not sorry that he hopes to never have to poop in a urinal. By the way, on Halloween, all toilets run the chance of being haunted, we assume by old turds? Jason's childhood box fan was haunted, or brought about other spirits to... breathe near him? It's not exactly a ghost hunt, people. Finally, redcoats, foreskins, it's all the same, just get ready to shoot someone!

Steve took his family skiing and assumed he would be the XTREME MASTER due to his prior snowboarding days. However, despite Jason's protestations to the contrary, once he found the right slope, Steve was hotdoggin' and sandwichin' and just being a really sexy snake. Finally, Jason thinks heaven's foyer is playing a 24/7 video of the worst fails of the new arrivals to the Pearly Gates. Just nards on stair rails all day and all night!