They Call Him International

***IN THIS EPISODE...***

In an effort to aid International in his recovery from oral surgery, Mike the Mic and Mr Coffee relentlessly berate him with criticism and judgement; A love-fest celebrating smokin’ Slave Wife erupts spontaneously which triggers Boone Ryder to climb up on his high-horse and launch into a belligerent anti-smoking cancer rant, lest anybody be confused by the difference between smokin’ and smoking

***IF THAT WASN’T ENOUGH, IN THIS EPISODE INTERNATIONAL ALSO...***

Explains how to generate limitless value in the New World; Continues to try to figure out what the hell he’s doing in this podcast (good luck with that, International)

***AND SO MUCH MORE, IT’S CRAZY!!!***

***IN THIS EPISODE INTERNATIONAL TALKS ABOUT...***

Accidentally ruining his own pity party by pinching a loaf in the punch bowl; Vanquishing illusion in order to restore and protect the return of paradise

***IF THAT WASN’T ENOUGH, IN THIS EPISODE INTERNATIONAL ALSO...***

Does a killer solo on the finger drums; Considers dedicating an entire podcast to the indecisive yet riveting drip that teeters between his pre and post nasal passageways but abandons the idea, certain that some lucky person has cashed in on that genius podcast idea already

***AND SO MUCH MORE, IT’S CRAZY!!!***

***IN THIS EPISODE...***

Mr Fucking Coffee learns that Rolex is not only a status symbol of Coaster Toaster’s financial success, but can actually tell the time and date; Boone Ryder is unphased when Mike the Mic attempts to shame him for spending all his cattle-drive earnings on rot-gut and hoochie-coochies

***IF THAT WASN’T ENOUGH, ALSO IN THIS EPISODE...***

International questions Mike the Mic’s authority to fire Da Bomb - which prompts Mike to cut off the podcast audio yet again (everybody else can still be heard, but don’t tell him and burst his vindictive punishment bubble); International retreats to his man cave where he analyzes Friday’s creative breakthrough and today’s potential sabotage as though he were a physicist examining particle collision blast debris

***AND SO MUCH MORE, IT’S CRAZY!!!***

***IN THIS EPISODE...***

One of the characters usurps the show in a total take-over of International’s podcast (guess who?); International is barred from the Playhouse and knocks multiple times on the door, only to be told to go away by a vengeful and hurt talking microphone (who may or may not have taken over the show, but probably did, okay did, it was him)

***STILL NOT ENOUGH? ALSO IN THIS EPISODE...***

Ory receives recognition for his courage and realizes that feeling the sadness of the world is a heroic act; Mike the Mic longingly pines for the relationship of his dreams, which just happens to be an Asian condenser mic

***AND SO MUCH MORE, IT’S CRAZY!!!***

***IN THIS EPISODE INTERNATIONAL TALKS ABOUT...***

All the panicky nonsense any podcast host would talk about when they’re bombing live at a nuclear level - it isn’t pretty, folks; How much better being hateful makes him feel and how grateful he is to Core Chat for letting him catalog all their short-comings and tell them how useless they are

***IF THAT WASN’T ENOUGH...***

Mike the Mic busies himself filling staplers in the new Playhouse to avoid watching International bomb and bemoans not having legs to run away from the trainwreck

***STILL NOT ENOUGH? IN THIS EPISODE INTERNATIONAL ALSO...***

Considers changing the title of the podcast to The Suck Ass Show and recommends people do themselves a favor by not listening; Moves his chair one inch to the left and solves all of his podcast problems - suddenly he’s funny again (pfew!)

***AND SO MUCH MORE, IT’S CRAZY!!!***

***IN THIS EPISODE INTERNATIONAL TALKS ABOUT...***

The state of powerlessness where nothing’s working - aka the Zero Principle; Pearls of Slave-wife wisdom such as sometimes the Inner Critic is right

***IF THAT WASN’T ENOUGH...***

Mike the Mic recalls shocking, traumatic personal details from his life, such as wrestling naked in hotel rooms with famous celebrities and his alcoholic microphone father; Mr Coffee goes on a homophobic rant about peppermint tea (again)

***STILL NOT ENOUGH? IN THIS EPISODE INTERNATIONAL ALSO...***

Has creative diarrhea everywhere except the toilet and Core Chat has to clean it up; Fails to accomplish anything he had planned today because, once again, the inmates took over the asylum

***AND SO MUCH MORE, IT’S CRAZY!!!***

***IN THIS EPISODE INTERNATIONAL TALKS ABOUT...***

Finally feeling settled on all the Core Chat nicknames, as ‘Merica FY emerges from her creative cocoon as Boots

***IF THAT WASN’T ENOUGH...***

Mr Coffee attacks International’s masculinity by calling his peppermint tea a “fairy drink,” and International reciprocates by calling Mr Coffee’s Coaster Toaster a “cheap ass plastic piece of shit”

***STILL NOT ENOUGH? IN THIS EPISODE INTERNATIONAL ALSO...***

Forgets to wear Vibrating Reminder Watch, which posits the uber-meta existential question for wanna-be philosophers - who is remembering the reminders?; Abstains from caffeine for the entire show which proves to be a terrible idea, as all the show’s characters suddenly wind up with New York accents worse than Danny Zucko

***AND SO MUCH MORE, IT’S CRAZY!!!***

***IN THIS EPISODE INTERNATIONAL TALKS ABOUT...***

The riveting tipping point between pre and post nasal drip, deep within his nasal passageways; Dead air that’s actually alive and pregnant with potential

***IF THAT WASN’T ENOUGH...***

Boone Ryder accuses Mike the Mic of wrangling Slave-wife’s heart in a fit of unbridled jealousy; Mike the Mic interviews Emily Dick-us who longs to shove all International’s podcast episodes away into her favorite dresser drawer where they can grow musty and stale, just like her giant, thick ol’ granny panties

***STILL NOT ENOUGH? IN THIS EPISODE INTERNATIONAL ALSO...***

Intentionally takes long coffee sips that sound like bong hits; Defiantly refuses to end the show until he’s finished, damn-it; Discovers the true identity of the Inner Critic, who turns out to be half of the Duo of Death

***AND SO MUCH MORE, IT’S CRAZY!!!***

***IN THIS EPISODE INTERNATIONAL TALKS ABOUT...***

Being more in love than ever with Slave-wife due to her stepping into powerful feminine leadership; The very important difference between anger and rage

***IF THAT WASN’T ENOUGH...***

Mike the Mic browbeats International for referencing dead musicians from the Sixties that blow his “somewhere in his thirties” cover

***STILL NOT ENOUGH? IN THIS EPISODE INTERNATIONAL ALSO...***

Encourages Mr Coffee’s feminine side, which enables Mike the Mic to bond with him over their shared challenge of devastating equipment malfunctions; Beholds the wide-eyed Poo Emoji and wonders when shit got cute, then demonstrates a desire to get to know the ubiquitous emoji better by belting out a rousing rendition of “Poo Are You?” by The Who; Experiences some powerful emotion, which fans the flames of Mike the Mic’s undying wet-dream that Internationa actually is gay

***AND SO MUCH MORE, IT’S CRAZY!!!***

***IN THIS EPISODE INTERNATIONAL TALKS ABOUT...***

The courage of artists who must snatch shooting stars of inspiration as they flash across the sky of our imagination; Slave-wife stunning him with her profound insights every time she gets the ball-gag removed; Surrender as the only path to victory for human beings that aren’t bent on playing God

***IF THAT WASN’T ENOUGH, IN THIS EPISODE INTERNATIONAL ALSO...***

Broadcasts live from the land of crappy moods where no one is allowed to pretend to be happy - what a relief!; Portrays Mike the Mic recounting his dangerous love affair with a Phantom-powered Lapel Mic that broke Mike’s diaphragm (translation for the non-techy - it broke his heart)

***AND SO MUCH MORE, IT’S CRAZY!!!***