They Call Him International

***IN THIS EPISODE...***

Mike the Mic proudly proclaims he will be complimenting his Doctorate of Anal Sychiatry with a foray into gay male microphone porn; Mr Coffee reveals he’s been sleeping at the Playhouse due to Mrs Coffee’s sexually frustrating habit of dressing up in lingerie only to deny him any and all carnal delights

***IF THAT WASN’T ENOUGH, IN THIS EPISODE INTERNATIONAL ALSO...***

Discusses culturally prescribed etiquette for public male bathrooms which requires men to remain securely isolated in their shame bubble whilst in rest rooms and frowns on complimenting the shoes of the man at the next urinal; The wild wow and wholly unexpected ride of creating compelling narratives with Slave Wife from the first day they met

***AND SO MUCH MORE, IT’S CRAZY!!!***

***IN THIS EPISODE INTERNATIONAL...***

Gets freaked out when the Fluffy curse suddenly kicks in, rendering him functionally unfunny and leaving him spouting blurts of nonsensicality that might be considered slightly amusing in the next Universe over; Waxes sentimental on the evolution of this podcast and its characters - it all began with the big (mic) bang

***IF THAT WASN’T ENOUGH, IN THIS EPISODE...***

Yappy Sally (aka International) explains the parallel between being in recovery from addiction and accessing the purity needed to create powerfully in the moment; Mike the Mic unknowingly deep-throats one of Becky the Marketing Maven’s demon dogs and (according to Dr Hosenscheisser) makes it his bitch

***AND SO MUCH MORE, IT’S CRAZY!!!***

***IN THIS EPISODE INTERNATIONAL TALKS ABOUT...***

Divine communication flowing right through him like a bad Mexican meal; The dark path of our collective narrative, where armies of woke Bozos corral humanity into a rusted-out clown world amusement park with whirling empty rides and sinister carnaval music that drones on forever like a sick cat hurling up Friskies

***IF THAT WASN’T ENOUGH, IN THIS EPISODE INTERNATIONAL ALSO...***

Begins the countdown to Slave Wife’s temporary release from her basement lounge (don’t call it a containment chamber) for a brief birthday celebration; Attempts to assuage his rabid jealousy of Gabriel Iglesias’ flawless ability to do voices by engaging in an unevolved pissing contest wherein International accuses Fluffy’s comedy of not packing a Hawaiian Punch, despite the undeniable fact that the comedian looks just like the guy on the container

***AND SO MUCH MORE, IT’S CRAZY!!!***

***IN THIS EPISODE...***

Becky the Marketing Bitch takes a brief break from deep-throating hot dogs to make it painfully apparent that this podcast is distinctly lacking in decent, upstanding female characters; International recounts the incredibly magical manifestation and transformation of his exemplary spiritual student, lovingly known as Turd Toes

***IF THAT WASN’T ENOUGH, IN THIS EPISODE INTERNATIONAL ALSO...***

Admonishes those who are a-woke at the wheel, and points out the very painful reality that their super-silly supercilious behavior keeps them from experiencing the magic of the New World; Blows Slave Wife’s anonymity in LSDA (Lysergic Acid Diethylamide Anonymous) by telling stories of her younger, pre-spiritual-warrior days when she routinely “tripped her little brains out” on California window pane

***AND SO MUCH MORE, IT’S CRAZY!!!***

***IN THIS EPISODE...***

Mike the Mic declares his new life’s pursuit of becoming a psycho-anal-ist - the cutting-edge science of managing mental health through combining traditional psychoanaysis with lurid anal sex; Mike the Mic has a total mic-melt when Dr. Hosenscheisser bestows deep praise on International, and the rudely insouciant podcast host responds with a bellowing belch

***IF THAT WASN’T ENOUGH, IN THIS EPISODE INTERNATIONAL ALSO...***

Refuses to confirm or deny whether his past sins include debauched delights such as loading up on quaaludes and dancing on the hoods of other people’s cars; Recounts the time when, at age ten, he was defrocked and excommunicated by appalled Catholic nuns after daring to inquire about the genital size of certain revered religious icons

***AND SO MUCH MORE, IT’S CRAZY!!!***

***IN THIS EPISODE...***

Greta Thimble takes time out of her busy aspersion-casting schedule to shame International from the window of her plush new office in the Playhouse basement; International relaxes into a creativity bubble-bath and luxuriates in the warmth of imperfection, inspiring jealousy in all those poor souls shivering in the frigid waters of judgement

***STILL NOT ENOUGH? IN THIS EPISODE INTERNATIONAL ALSO...***

Declares that no amount of persuasion from Core Chat will ever succeed in convincing him to release a podcast of him typing on his computer keyboard for an hour, due to his overwhelm at contemplating the certain tsunami of media attention that would undoubtedly ensue; Enacts a dramatically-stunning scene where he doses his morning fizzy beverage with mysterious virility drops, and it turns into a ghoulish daymare when he’s forced to call 9-1-1 because his testicles won’t stop growing

***AND SO MUCH MORE, IT’S CRAZY!!!***

***IN THIS EPISODE...***

Becky the first-rate bitch drops by to inflict her insatiable appetite for unwelcomed podcast marketing tips and unexpectedly belches hot-dog demons; Mike the Mic declares International the poster-child for artists with mediocre talent (does anyone else smell a telethon?)

***IF THAT WASN’T ENOUGH...***

Mike the Mic also declares International two West-Village-blocks shy of being gay

***STILL NOT ENOUGH? IN THIS EPISODE INTERNATIONAL ALSO...***

Succumbs to the mesmerizing state of relaxation produced by gazing upon Dr. Hosenscheisser’s abundant ear-hair growth, thus allowing the resident Playhouse psychoanalyst to begin probing International’s psyche; Ruins Mike the Mic’s moment of bonding with Slave Wife via Core Chat with a crude and sorely-placed hand-job joke

***AND SO MUCH MORE, IT’S CRAZY!!!***

***IN THIS EPISODE...***

International recounts the time he threw Peter Parker out of his bed for doing things a spider can - like hiding under the pillow and crawling on his face during the night; Mike the Mic confesses to using aural contraceptives and sending Ory out to have them dry-cleaned for multiple uses

***IF THAT WASN’T ENOUGH, IN THIS EPISODE INTERNATIONAL ALSO...***

Recalls the time he and his refrigerator jumped around his apartment like they were in an earthquake bouncy house, which they actually were; Discusses humanity being in a post-cataclysmic-event state but leaves the audience nails-deep in a giant cliffhanger by not revealing what the actual event was (a-hole!)

***AND SO MUCH MORE, IT’S CRAZY!!!***

***IN THIS EPISODE INTERNATIONAL...***

Gets a pep talk from Mr Coffee who’s sorry he’s not sorry that International’s searing back pain is inspiring him to new heights of genius podcast creativity; Enacts the scene of a deeply-moving séance in which a widower’s wife nags him from the great beyond and tells him to wash his underwear; Tries to bore his listeners and fails miserably because the mere sound of him breathing for way too long proves to be wildly captivating (it’s an instant hit!)

***IF THAT WASN’T ENOUGH, IN THIS EPISODE INTERNATIONAL ALSO...***

Does a Wide World of Sports play-by-play commentary on the unending drama of his nasal drip; Cautions listeners to be wary of media, which can be a vector for a kind of woke-lusion that might leave you balling for safe-spaces

***AND SO MUCH MORE, IT’S CRAZY!!!***

***IN THIS EPISODE...***

Overcome by vengeful spite, Mike the Mic gives Ory “the bird” then melts down like ice cream on a hot summer day; In a rare display of newfound sensitivity Mr Fucking Coffee reassures Mike the Mic that, despite his abundant use of the word fairy in a derogatory manner, he actually has nothing against “you gay people”

***IF THAT WASN’T ENOUGH, IN THIS EPISODE INTERNATIONAL...***

Identifies as an extremely sensitive princess who longs for whirled peas; Laments over the too-dumb-to-wake-up humans that have been sucked into the inversion by the forces of illusion and are self-righteously “helping the world” down the path of tyranny

***AND SO MUCH MORE, IT’S CRAZY!!!***