Would you pay someone to teach you how to be sexual and intimate? Some people do! Surrogate partners work with clients to learn their bodies and how to have consensual, boundaried, erotic contact with others. Brian Gibney of bgsurrogatetherapy.com talks about touch, legality, and a misleading movie related to surrogate partner therapy.

1:00 he helps people learn to be sexual and intimate

4:00 Cheryl Cohen Greene sounds awesome 

6:00 reasons why people seek out a surrogate partner

10:00 what is the training process like?

13:00 examples of boundary exercises

15:00 people cry a LOT

18:00 teaching people how to say No and Yes confidently 

23:00 freedom to be yourself

26:00 some clients are not in distress, others are

29:00 challenges of the surrogate partner work

32:00 clients may fall in love and experience an ending

35:00 yes it affects how we do dating as providers

39:00 your host cries again here

44:00 do clients have to be attractive?

47:00 how can LMFTs work with surrogate partners?

53:00 on Brian’s deceased son with disabilities 

58:00 life should be less painful 

Find your host on Twitter.com/ellestanger

Follow your host onPatreon.com/strangebedfellows for just $1 a month

Find our guest at briangibney.org

You may know her comics, art, or stripper-social media: listen how Jacqueline Frances is adapting to a new and divorced life after stripping.

1:00 I love a new crowd

4:00 convince me to invest in you

7:00 why she is retiring from stripping 

10:00 on becoming internet-and-club-famous 

13:00 how stripping culture has changed in a decade

16:00 content warning for sexual assault

20:00 thirst traps doing good work

24:00 Jacq has a new book

28:00 any advice for my last year of stripping?

31:00 a note on positionality

34:00 hustle tips pleeeease

38:00 my body is a hot resource

45:00 be careful when flaunting cash online

49:00 strippers can tell you when the economy is bad

53:00 if I’m not getting money, I’m getting knowledge

56:00 Jacq’s plans for her future

Find your host on ellestanger.com

Follow your host onPatreon.com/strangebedfellows for just $1 a month

Find your guest on jacqthestripper.com

Nikki Gilliland was kicked out of college, ostracized by her town, and had her children taken away after her professor decided to target her for her decade-retired pornstar past. Now she’s suing the state of Oregon in a historic Title IX discrimination case.

1:00 she was blocked from college for her former porn career

3:00 Nina Hartley was her first lesbian scene

7:00 she didn’t know people hated pornmakers so much

11:00 Coos Bay, Oregon really sucks in a lot of ways

14:00 “only classy women can be nurses”

16:00 her kids were taken away

18:00 the social work system in Oregon is pretty messed up too

25:00 escorting is “legal” in Utah, but not prostitution lol

28:00 disclaimer on the term “clean” and STIs

31:00 how might I explain my xxx work to future children?

35:00 when your entire town hates you, it’s dangerous

37:00 sex worker outreach groups

43:00 the minority stress perspective

46:00 let’s talk about police raids on legal escorts in Utah

49:00 title IX Discrimination and her historic case

53:00 blowjob tips

Find your host on ellestanger.com

Follow your host onPatreon.com/strangebedfellows for just $1 a month

Your host interviews Chicago entertainer Ben Krane about his work and experiences in stripping, gogo-dancing, and internet content creation. 

3:00 Boys Town neighborhood in Chicago

5:00 short kings in Hydrate Night Club

9:00 FOSTA/SESTA killed the Tumblr star

12:00 social media restrictions make me poorer

17:00 what’s ur experience with male strippers?

19:00 first kiss with a stripper

23:00 how much groping happens at your job?

25:00 explaining fluffing aka getting “showy”

29:00 owning a ton of undies

33:00 getting to work is half the battle

39:00 straight men in gay/straight strip clubs

42:00 trust no internet platform

47:00 Moms love Chippendale’s

51:00 stereotypes are outliers

55:00 sex tips from our guest

Find your host on ellestanger.com

Follow your host on Patreon.com/strangebedfellows for just $1 a month

Find our guest at IG @benkrane_

How can we do sex and life more ethically? We take common questions with Margaret King, LPC of attunementpsychotherapy.com

1:00 meet your guest

3:00 why the therapist can’t party with you

8:00 examples of guiding principles and sex

15:00 Don’t slap people without asking

19:00 on public sex without asking everyone’s consent

23:00 on sharing herpes status with hookups

30:00 why not legalization of sex work

32:00 why rope play or kink can heal people 

35:00 consent is required and can be sexy

38:00 build trust slowly

40:00 body modification can be healing or self harm

45:00 am I rewriting the narrative or replaying harmful scripts?

48:00 what if my partner doesn’t want to play kink with me?

51:00 what if i get triggered by play?

56:00 police brutality in portland 

1:00:00 how cultures express different values

Find your host on ellestanger.com

Follow your host on Patreon.com/strangebedfellows for just $1 a month

Ejaculation issues, stamina, performance anxiety, aggression and shame, learn from Australia’s leading male sexologist Cam Fraser on how to have a better and more ethical sex life.

3:00 - why do this episode?

7:30 “every hole is a goal” - mentality 

8:00 pilates and yoga fixed his spine and mind

13:00 challenging narratives about masculinity

15:00 common erectile issues

18:00 elle teaches sex to partners

20:00 communication has to come from both sides

25:00 examples of men’s issues

30:00 vulnerability is hot and powerful

35:00 why prostate orgasms feel different 

40:00 SSRI advice and resources

45:00 lube advice

50:00 asexuality in one partner

54:00 pausing or stopping during sex is a human right 

1:00:00 stop putting it in my butt without asking!

1:04:00 faster vs harder

Find your host on ellestanger.com

Follow your host on Patreon.com/strangebedfellows for just $1 a month

Find our guest at https://cam-fraser.com

Finding a good therapist, partner-dynamics, kink, embodiment, sensory issues, and conscious relationships: Katherine Friedman, LPC has expert guidance and therapy resources, in an episode on some of our favorite, complex topics.

Timestamps:

1:00 meet your guest

3:00 being informed by her clients

7:00 tips for finding a good therapist

10:00 keeping secrets from your therapist 

13:00 why do folks like or dislike therapy?

17:00 what is DBT?

21:00 fuck you, zuckerberg

25:00 when your male partner is too rough

29:00 is your partner respecting your consent?

35:00 can I do rape role play without disclosing my assaults?

40:00 how can a submissive learn to be dominant?

43:00 repetitive masturbation style

47:00 ADHD and sex

52:00 previously “promiscuous” and current lack of interest

57:00 kinks vs fetishes

1:02:00 commonly reported kinks and fetishes

1:06:00 resources and recommendations

Find your host on ellestanger.com

Follow your host on Patreon.com/strangebedfellows for just $1 a month

Find our guest at psychologytoday.com

Let’s learn about lube! GoodCleanLove owner Wendy Strgar and I talk a little history, some science, and hear feedback on why people love or loathe using personal lubricants.

1:00 she created a lube to fix her own problems

4:00 the science of lube

7:00 you are what you eat

10:00 gut health and vaginal health

13:00 a lot of people with vaginas experience mysterious irritation

16:00 hybrid lubes - what are they?

20:00 silicone lube can be fun or give you an infection or stain

24:00 why do you use lubricant? Or not?

27:00 rushing your sex isn’t helpful

32:00 does chewing tobacco increase chance of infection from oral?

37:00 performance anxiety impacts people

42:00 on heating-type lubricants

46:00 have realistic sexpectations 

52:00 dont use most lubes if you’re trying to get pregnant

56:00 kissing can indicate compatibility

59:00 FDA requirements

Find your host on ellestanger.com

Follow your host on Patreon.com/strangebedfellows for just $1 a month

Find our guest at goodlcleanlove.com

Let’s get elbow deep in complex topics like kink, neurodiversity, trauma healing and trans gender issues. Writer cosima bee concordia aka “Bimbo Theory” joins me here and you can find her on Patreon too.

1:00 her new IG is @bimbo.theory

3:00 what is kink?

7:00 ADHD and sluggish cognitive tempo

9:00 lists and timers can be helpful for ADHD

13:00 moral panic around trans people 

15:00 informed consent models

18:00 on “pegging the patriarchy”

22:00 Greek men had rules for how they were allowed to have anal sex

25:00 on pegging

30:00 I want leather education!

33:00 BDSM book recommendation - “Leathersex”

36:00 blood play and risk

40:00 submissives and service-topping

45:00 nicknames and pet names

49:00 r*pe-role play 

53:00 eroticized taboos

56:00 examples of many types of kink play

59:00 resources for cis people dating newly-transitioned folks

Find your host on ellestanger.com

Follow your host on Patreon.com/strangebedfellows for just $1 a month

Find our guest at https://linktr.ee/bimbotheory