They Talk Sex

April Flores is an award winning pornmaker with almost two decades of years of experience and knowledge about the adult film industries. We talk sex, dating, and grief. Listen to her!

3:00 “Fat Girl” photo art book in 2013

6:00 on being approached by Belladonna

9:00 the actual sex part is a small part

13:00 on having fake answers for real questions

16:00 on rigorous STI screening for pornmakers

18:00 on her late husband Carlos Batts

22:00 it’s a mindfuck, death

26:00 on fandom from former teenagers (adults)

31:00 praise kinks vs baseline respect 

35:00 the importance of other SW friends

39:00 on aging as a performer

42:00 screening dates as a performer

46:00 a ghostly protector

48:00 toy tips for bigger bodies

52:00 NY vs LA dating

58:00 on studying fat pornography

1:03:00 “people wanna see my lonjas”

1:07:00 on working with friends

Find April on onlyfans.com/theaprilflores

Find your host on ellestanger.com

See my $1 subscriber material Patreon.com/strangebedfellows

Sponsored by JoliQuiz.com now: research based non-monogamy resources.

Please rate and review this podcast :)

Do you want to understand what human rights are at risk in the United States? How is social media censorship linked to facsism and reproductive care? How to identify bogus organizations that lie with well-framed media campaigns? Listen to Woodhull Freedom Foundation folks Ricci Levy and Mandy Salley, and enjoy our last episode of this season. See you in 2023!

3:00 what is Woodhull Freedom Foundation?

6:00 incarcerated women shackled while in labor

9:00 attacks on human rights in the US

12:00 Governor Abott in Texas sucks so bad

15:00 government overreach and intended consequences

18:00 how to identify anti-advocacy groups

21:00 it is vitally important to vote

25:00 on framing messages to mislead

29:00 on life less safe

33:00 Meta allows harm language, not arousal language

37:00 AI searches for CSAM but broadly

40:00 shadowbanning makes people poorer

44:00 impacts on libraries, schools, disabilities

48:00 how to discover if an org is unethical?

54:00 WFF is not as impacted online

1:02:00 when AI goes bad

1:07:00 resources for sexual freedom

www.woodhullfoundation.org

@WoodhullFreedom on all social media platforms 

@Mandy_Farsace on Twitter

@RicciLevy onTwitter

FIND YOUR HOST: stripperwriter.com

See Elle’s $1 Behind-The-Scenes at Patreon.com/strangebedfellows

Sponsored by our friends at NetherlandsWax.com

Condoms and Lube can be found on Condomania.com - code THEYTALKSEX for a discounted first order!

Need a waterproof blanket? Sponsored by Love-Blanket.com - 10% OFF with code THEYTALKSEX

Looking for quality vibes? Get 15% off at LoveCrave.com 

Thanks for rating and reviewing this podcast :)

Our guest is a non-judgemental therapy intern, sometimes-sex worker, cannabis educator, and sexuality educator. Danielle Simpson-Baker’s work is for couples and singles, and we offer practical advice for people trying to manage and repair relationship conflicts.

3:00 therapy, sexology, cannabis education and sw

6:00 whorephobia in academia and how we are fighting it

9:00 experience in full-service, with privilege 

13:00 representation as a Black woman 

16:00 things ppl don’t want to tell their therapist YET

20:00 more therapist-shaming, on cannabis and porn

27:00 how to reconnect after a partner-conflict?

30:00 on non-sexual bonding first, after a conflict

33:00 how to help a partner with shame

36:00 porn and comedians perpetuate false messages

39:00 sensate focus therapy practice

43:00 on grief and sexuality

45:00 feeling guilty about pleasure after a death 

48:00 talking about a taboo desire

52:00 hate mail can be hilarious

56:00 on privilege despite doing illegal sex work

59:00 “turning toward” makes better relationships

1:02:00 @cptsdwhisperer is nonbinary, to clarify

1:06:00 Dr Lex Brown - resource + recommendation

1:09:00 on going down

FIND YOUR GUEST: sexpottherapyllc.com

FIND YOUR HOST: stripperwriter.com

See Elle’s $1 Behind-The-Scenes at Patreon.com/strangebedfellows

Sponsored by our friends at NetherlandsWax.com

Condoms and Lube can be found on Condomania.com - code THEYTALKSEX for a discounted first order!

Need a waterproof blanket? Sponsored by Love-Blanket.com - 10% OFF with code THEYTALKSEX

Looking for quality vibes? Get 15% off at LoveCrave.com 

Thanks for rating and reviewing this podcast :)

Let’s talk about anal penetration with a strap-on! History, meaning and context around a popular and hot-button activity, enjoyed by people of all genders and orientations and identities. The Pegging Book co-author joins me to talk about butt stuff.

3:00 why write this book

7:00 Marquis de Sade was a revolutionary sicko 

11:00 Luna Matatas coined “peg the patriarchy”

15:00 queer opposition 

19:00 Mistress may I suck your c*ck?

23:00 clean butt tips

27:00 silicone lube tricks

31:00 consensual injury desire?

35:00 no coercion plz

40:00 how else should I prep?

42:00 black nitrile gloves rule

46:00 back up on it instead 

52:00 Carol Queen and Bend Over Boyfriend 

55:00 toolshedtoys.com

58:00 communication and lubrication 

FIND YOUR HOST: stripperwriter.com

FIND YOUR GUEST: thepeggingbook.com

See Elle’s $1 Behind-The-Scenes at Patreon.com/strangebedfellows

Sponsored by our friends at NetherlandsWax.com

Condoms and Lube can be found on Condomania.com - code THEYTALKSEX for a discounted first order!

Need a waterproof blanket? Sponsored by Love-Blanket.com - 10% OFF with code THEYTALKSEX

Looking for quality vibes? Get 15% off at LoveCrave.com 

Thanks for rating and reviewing this podcast :)

Camille* was a college kid who met a man that changed her life in a very bad way, and she tells how manipulation, isolation, and physical abuse entrapped her into being forced to work sex, and illegally. She’s free now and pursuing a new life, and justice.

4:00 child sexual abuse mention

7:00 traphouses aren’t cool 

10:00 on being isolated 

13:00 the Starbucks incident

17:00 no debit card, no phone privacy

20:00 leaving a social media trail

23:00 the FBI contacted her

26:00 hospital disclosure

28:00 “elevating out of the game” is BS

33:00 more brainwashing and isolation 

35:00 a police arrest in Los Angeles

37:00 on “ride or die”

42:00 victim blaming about rape

45:00 she finally escaped after two years

48:00 not all pimps are bad, she says

51:00 if you can sell twat, you can sell food

55:00 consent is the difference in work vs trafficking

57:00 on learning boundaries and trust

1:01:00 how to support survivors and sworkers

1:05:00 anti-trafficking orgs are a roof but not resources

1:10:00 on making attachment to people

1:14:00 spit on it

1:17:00 show love if you want to help

FIND YOUR HOST: stripperwriter.com

See Elle’s $1 Behind-The-Scenes at Patreon.com/strangebedfellows

Sponsored by our friends at NetherlandsWax.com

Condoms and Lube can be found on Condomania.com - code THEYTALKSEX for a discounted first order!

Need a waterproof blanket? Sponsored by Love-Blanket.com - 10% OFF with code THEYTALKSEX

Looking for quality vibes? Get 15% off at LoveCrave.com 

Thanks for rating and reviewing this podcast :)

Does the stuff you bought at the grocery store burn your genitals? Ever forgotten a tampon up there? Learn some tips for vulva and vaginal health, and hear why Momotaro Apotheca started making their own preventative-and-healing products.

1:00 for irritation and infections

4:00 the hot spring incident 

7:00 monistat and vagisil can mess you up

10:00 challenges to developing vulva/vaginal care products

13:00 the stripper pole isn’t safe either - in terms of germs

15:00 condoms break, Ass-to-vag happens, nobody’s “perfect”

18:00 do not use Summer’s Eve

21:00 what vaginal issues do YOU deal with?

24:00 wash your damn hands 

27:00 ever forgot a tampon up there?

31:00 can you tell your partner?

35:00 do you also check your scent?

38:00 a Napoleon Dynamite reference - really

41:00 is douching safe?

45:00 why does monistat (or anything) burn?

49:00 I dont wanna think about my vaginal health

53:00 what does “odor protection” mean?

56:00 what does your pussy smell like?

59:00 the vagina is acidic too

1:02:00 not just for “women”

1:05:00 find the people that you trust

FIND YOUR GUEST: momotaroapotheca.com

FIND YOUR HOST: stripperwriter.com

See Elle’s $1 Behind-The-Scenes at Patreon.com/strangebedfellows

Sponsored by our friends at NetherlandsWax.com

Condoms and Lube can be found on Condomania.com - code THEYTALKSEX for a discounted first order!

Need a waterproof blanket? Sponsored by Love-Blanket.com - 10% OFF with code THEYTALKSEX

Looking for quality vibes? Get 15% off at LoveCrave.com 

Thanks for rating and reviewing this podcast :)

We take another dive into discussing common barriers to communication and relationship security with writer Lola Phoenix, who has been navigating this for theirself and others online and IRL for years.

2:00 a lot of common questions

5:00 power dynamics

8:00 on being protective of the community 

10:00 what are your biggest challenges with non-monogamy?

14:00 disagreement doesn’t have to be scary

17:00 forgive yourself for being afraid of abandonment

22:00 attention helps us to survive

25:00 I will grow my own life regardless of you

27:00 what is an anchor? A personal reason for doing 

32:00 is being primary the most fun?

36:00 we are primed for monogamy

39:00 personal preference is not the rule

42:00 jealousy regarding sleepovers/sex

46:00 i don’t need to hear the details for you to have fun

50:00 red flags vs irrational

53:00 women have to look for threats regularly

56:00 book suggestions

59:00 object impermanance

1:03:00 how to ask for partner support

1:08:00 on hiring a sex worker

36:00 people are encouraged to be monogamous

FIND YOUR GUESTt nonmonogamyhelp.com

FIND YOUR HOST: stripperwriter.com

See Elle’s $1 Behind-The-Scenes at Patreon.com/strangebedfellows

Sponsored by our friends at NetherlandsWax.com

Condoms and Lube can be found on Condomania.com - code THEYTALKSEX for a discounted first order!

Need a waterproof blanket? Sponsored by Love-Blanket.com - 10% OFF with code THEYTALKSEX

Looking for quality vibes? Get 15% off at LoveCrave.com 

Thanks for rating and reviewing this podcast :)

No matter what your current relationship structure-of-choice is, conflict and communication around trust and jealousy can be challenging. I asked one of my favorite therapists Yana Tallon-Hicks to offer advice from her new book, Hot and Un-bothered.

2:00 meet your guest

6:00 parenting is “the kid project”

9:00 non/monogamy isn’t so different regarding conflict

13:00 is my jealousy rooted in reality, or my past?

16:00 on feeling tricked

20:00 “explicit permission”

23:00 lie-inviting behavior

27:00 “name it to tame it”

31:00 authentic, honest responses w/o punishment

34:00 making yourself busy is a flight response

36:00 professional jealousy

39:00 if they are violent, GTFO

42:00 how to awkwardly flirt

45:00 trust is experience built over time

50:00 book recommendations

56:00 talk about sex when you’re not naked

FIND YOUR GUEST: YanaTallonHicks.com

FIND YOUR HOST: stripperwriter.com

See Elle’s $1 Behind-The-Scenes at Patreon.com/strangebedfellows

Sponsored by our friends at NetherlandsWax.com

Condoms and Lube can be found on Condomania.com - code THEYTALKSEX for a discounted first order!

Need a waterproof blanket? Sponsored by Love-Blanket.com - 10% OFF with code THEYTALKSEX

Looking for quality vibes? Get 15% off at LoveCrave.com 

Thanks for rating and reviewing this podcast :)

Timestamps:

What do we mean when we say something “hurts so good”? Let’s talk about pain and pleasure with author Leigh Cowart, who wrote a book by the same name and to explore and document their own journey with thrill seeking and sensations.

1:00 consensual pain

3:00 ballet can be abusive

6:00 emotional and physical pain

11:00 autism and sensation-needs

15:00 allodynia + hyperesthesia

18:00 CBTorture and bliss

23:00 why does a beating feel so good sometimes?

27:00 on touching our own emotional wounds

30:00 Mollena Williams-Haas resource

32:00 tip on screening a partner

35:00 maketimeforthetalk.com

38:00 subs gotta communicate their boundaries too

45:00 almost died from an eating disorder

48:00 too much exercise can also be self-harm

51:00 reaper peppers + pain juice

55:00 masochism

59:00 listen to what your body is telling you

FIND YOUR GUEST: IG instagram.com/voraciousbrain

FIND YOUR HOST: stripperwriter.com

See Elle’s $1 Behind-The-Scenes at Patreon.com/strangebedfellows

Sponsored by our friends at NetherlandsWax.com

Condoms and Lube can be found on Condomania.com - code THEYTALKSEX for a discounted first order!

Need a waterproof blanket? Sponsored by Love-Blanket.com - 10% OFF with code THEYTALKSEX

Looking for quality vibes? Get 15% off at LoveCrave.com 

Thanks for rating and reviewing this podcast :)