This Is Important

Today, this is what’s important:

Parking tickets, male Karens, lethal workouts, Raising Cane's, franchising, salads, close calls to death, drunk driving, and more!

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Today, this is what’s important:

The Emmys, Chris Elliott, Jared Leto, The Razzies, Robert DeNiro, Bo Jackson, Anders fighting the neighbors, believing in yourself, coffee, Adam's sleep habits, their drink of choice, Kombucha, and more!

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Today, this is what’s important:

Handwriting, pens, MDMA, TLC, TikTok, viral videos, Sturgis Motorcycle Rally, the Baldwin brothers, Kyle's back tattoo, piercings, jam bands, marathons, what politicians smell like, deodorant, nicknames, and more!

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Today, this is what’s important:

Wildfires, sex reveal parties, doctor misdiagnosis, Netflix DVDs, aesthetics, art, and symbols appropriated by white supremacy groups, satirical work, OnlyFans, cameo, sex hotlines, and more.

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Today, this is what’s important:

The Ring camera, Adam being robbed, big cats, eating ass, animal trainers on set, fuck-marry-kill, taking back a death, Chadwick Boseman, artists who died too young, The Wizards, the SXSW Workaholics house party, high school teachers, and more.

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Today, this is what’s important:

Collectable cards, beefiest athletes, bike tricks, childhood neighborhood games, super soakers, backyard wrestling on public access tv, bullies, Tenet, Hard Knocks, baseball and more.

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Today, this is what’s important:

Workouts, Dune, Hottest Hemsworth, Pizza Deliveryman etiquette, Pooping, Skrillex, Spoonerisms, Reactions videos, WAP, and more

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Today, this is what’s important:

Bike accidents, Terrence Howard, Male Karens, Wine Mouth, Smoking, Elective Procedures, Foreskin, Liposuction, Music to have sex to, and more.

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Today, this is what’s important:

Shark Week, Pinocchio, Papa Johns, Dumbo, Tattoos, Hot or Not, High School, Kids, Covid, Hard Nipple Balls, Boners, Bullies, Ejaculation, and more. 

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Introducing: This Is Important.

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