Thoughts on Thoughts

Emotional labor is part of every relationship. Someone has to call first, someone has to pick up the toilet paper from the store and someone has to finish that last task at work. When we have healthy boundaries and share the various tasks that need to be done in a relationship, everything goes well! However, you may find that you are pulling more weight than the other person and it can breed resentment. In this episode we will discuss what emotional labor looks like in friendships, parent-child relationships, marriages, and workplace relationships. We will then give you tips for how to set healthy boundaries and more evenly divide the emotional labor in your relationships.

Tiny houses, capsule wardrobes, asking yourself if your items "spark joy" for you...minimalism has been rampant lately! In this episode we discuss the psychology behind minimalism. We address how to "minimize" the clutter in your mind and how decluttering your physical space can actually be a benefit to your mental health. Enjoy!

Books mentioned in the episode:

"Goodbye Things: The New Japanese Minimalism" by Fumio Sasaki

"The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up" by Marie Kondo

In this episode you get the chance to hear all the details of someone who used in vitro fertilization to get pregnant. Jessica and her husband Elliott went through two years of infertility and treatments before becoming pregnant with a little girl. Jessica shares the nitty gritty of her experience-down to the weirdest place she had to give herself a shot. Elliott then joins Jessica to discuss what the process was like for him, what it did to their relationship and together they share some advice on what to never say to someone who is trying to get pregnant. (Please forgive Jessica for any and all mistakes when discussing the process, she had a major case of pregnancy brain and gave birth just a few days later!)

It's pretty likely that you've been asked, "What's your love language?" a time or two. Knowing your love language can be a good tool to help you connect in your relationships with others but will it really give you all the data you need to help when the going gets tough? In this episode we debunk the idea that love languages are the be-all end-all in connecting with others. We will delve into this through exploring the anxious-avoidant trap, so if you know that you and your partner have differing attachment styles...you may want to tune in!

Books mentioned:

"Attached" by Amir Levine & Rachel Heller

"The 5 Love Languages" by Gary Chapman

In this episode the three of us chat about some healthy habits we have each utilized in our lives to help us be more mentally healthy. As we move into the new year it can be a good time to assess our habits, which ones we want to keep and those we want to let go of. We hope you enjoy hearing some of our ideas about some of the things we each do to be a little happier and grounded. Enjoy!

In this episode, we are going to teach you how to better handle your own reactions to your child's behaviors. Kids have a special way of triggering their parents to their red and blue zones and as a parent it is hard to make the best decisions when you're there. We discuss how to help you and your child get back to the green zone as quickly as possible and how to repair the relationship if you've made some mistakes along the way (as we all do).

In any close relationship, there are usually a few arguments that seem unsolvable. One person wants one thing, the other wants the opposite and it seems neither can win. In this episode we will use techniques taught by John Gottman to help you find a solution to these problems that is based in love and understanding. You will learn how to build closeness and then learn to recognize the dreams that are driving your perspective and needs. These "unsolvable problems" will become something that can bring you closer together rather than drive you apart.

In this episode we are going to introduce you to one of the most difficult feelings out there-shame. To help you understand when you experience shame we will differentiate it from guilt, humiliation and embarrassment. When we are feeling shame we usually do something negative with it, like push it onto other people. The actions that we take to discharge our shame are called shame shields by Brene Brown and we will help you identify them in your own life and then identify more positive ways of dealing with this difficult emotion. Remember, to be human is to feel shame and we hope we can help you handle those times more positively.

Our second episode about parenting is all about discipline using time-outs and time-ins. We are going to teach you the difference between these two techniques and when you should use each of them. There are times when a break between you and your child is necessary, and a time-out is a great tool for that. Other times, what your child needs is for you to be with them in their emotions and coach them through it-a time-in is perfect for this. We all need a little support as we help children deal with difficult emotions and behaviors and we hope this episode will make disciplining your child a more loving experience.

The dictionary may define vulnerability as "opening yourself up to attack" but we are going to help you see how being vulnerable can be your greatest strength! In this episode we are discussing the importance of being vulnerable with ourselves and the people in our lives. We have each learned for ourselves how valuable it is to be authentic and genuine and we discovered that vulnerability is at the heart of this type of life. We will get a little controversial and discuss the difference between true and superficial vulnerability-including our own times that we were a little superficial. Join us as we delve into this topic that has enriched our lives and relationships.