We tell our kids that big emotions feel scary, but that’s actually just as true for us grownups. Stepparenting is overwhelming a surprising percentage of the time. No matter how committed you are to building your blended family, you cannot be all in, all the time without some kind of pressure relief valve.

Sometimes the only way to deflate all the seriousness down into a more manageable size is to poke some fun at the whole mess. Crack more jokes. Tease your partner a bit. Tease the kids a bit. I mean, don't invalidate anyone; there's a line between teasing and mean girling that shouldn’t be crossed. But we can’t let ourselves get so tightly wound about making everyone happy, or making sure everything is perfect and everyone gets along that we end up feeling stiff, stifled, and resentful.

Humor can help tip the scales away from anger and toward regaining a balanced perspective. Make room for the absurdity of it all — lord knows most of this shit is funny in a dark humor kind of way if we can bring ourselves to laugh at it.

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