We talk about isolating for safety even though it's not actually safe anymore. She talks about the importance of safe people to heal with. She says attunement and connection bring healing.   The friend says that when you are alone, you cause self-destruction. She says that in memory time, other people caused harm to you. But in now time, you cause the harm to yourself.  She talks about triggering others inside when focusing on fears from the past. About how important it is to let you yourself enjoy the good in the present.  She Googles "turning away" and "turning towards" and Gottman's stuff.  She explains bids for attention, and how turning away from bids for attention is really destructive for relationships.  She talks about how bids for attention always felt dangerous, so it's hard to turn towards now. She reads examples of bids for attention. She talks about how this connection, both responding and asking for connection heals.  She talks about how destructive turning away is. Then it talks about how presence is part of turning towards and mis-attunement is part of turning away. Then she reads ways to show responsiveness. 

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Content Note: Content on this website and in the podcasts is assumed to be trauma and/or dissociative related due to the nature of what is being shared here in general.  Content descriptors are generally given in each episode.  Specific trigger warnings are not given due to research reporting this makes triggers worse.  Please use appropriate self-care and your own safety plan while exploring this website and during your listening experience.  Natural pauses due to dissociation have not been edited out of the podcast, and have been left for authenticity.  While some professional material may be referenced for educational purposes, Emma and her system are not your therapist nor offering professional advice.  Any informational material shared or referenced is simply part of our own learning process, and not guaranteed to be the latest research or best method for you.  Please contact your therapist or nearest emergency room in case of any emergency.  This website does not provide any medical, mental health, or social support services.