Umpire Pants

Al female episode. Channeling other podcasts. Kelley is bad at wires. What does confirmed bachelor mean? Why did television catch on? The Queen’s crown again. Bill’s camping and stinky. First names. Intermission song (I cut this song to two minutes, you’re all welcome.) Strikes work, fight the power, vote in the midterms. Mary was proactive about voting for once. Taking a break from the news. Dick pics. Bathroom emergencies. Golden Girls. Skipping Best Ofs. Girl at bar thinks Kelley’s sad. Herman’s good at wires. Kelley can craft. Dick pics again. Tofu Dave. Mary wants to feed restaurant animals. Kelley doesn’t know how apprenticeships work. Kelley and Mary are going to slap each other. Kelley’s hint list. Treat your laundry like your husband. Control your suds. Ring around the collar. Scrub pocket corners. Kelley and Mary are bad housekeepers. Umpire Pants Out.

Mary is in Costa Rica, Mary's fish, IQ test, killing goldfish, bat update, Costa Rica travel tips, Bill's scary neighborhood, raisins vs. quinoa, Sideways update, Halloween updates: parties and masks, we almost lose power, go nuts philosophy, podcast evidence, schooner update, Break 27:47, Best ofs So Far: street, theater, tour, Kelley's Hint List: beet skins, corn on the cob ice pick, we lose Mary, we have to talk forever, apple pie tip, unwrap meat, chimney tree fire, saving antifreeze, Bill breaks the podcast, Umpire Pants Out

It's our Halloween episode, Bill got a sound board, Mary doesn't like Halloween, yo-yo routine scarecrow, Mary gets a phone call, turds, people not liking you, parties, bobbing for apples, costumes, Blues Brothers, gypsy (roma), wizard, princess, topical costumes, clown, food coloring face, candy, cat costume, pumpkins, we have a breakthrough, contest, Best of So Far, soup, souvenir, statue, Break 50:54, Canadian taste or test: hickory sticks, all dressed chips, taco chips, Puyallup fair, Umpire Pants Out

Why does Bill say the episode number?, poop on Costco, improv, Budweiser margarita commercial, shooting TVs, Bill's Full Metal Jacket edit, Nerf Gun Challenge update, ringing the bar bell, The Wizard by Black Sabbath, army navy store pants, mummies, bringing stuff on planes, Kelley's grocery store old lady bit, good job Storm, SBD/SBV, suicide/graveyard, schooners, creep photographer, only in New York, the Eastside is boring, Redmond Town Center, barefoot in the dressing room, clean streets of Seattle, BREAK 38:04, Best of So Far: shop, shrine, sound, Kelley's Hint List: coaxing cream, cleaning fluids for rayon, cleaning vacuum brushes, ignition timing, Umpire Pants Out Secret track (test recording)

We're doing the candle challenge, we're already distracted, RIP Burt Reynolds, shooting Herman challenge/Donut Challenge, Kid Rock and the Insane Clown Posse, relish update, Amazon worker cages, Vera's email, jars for glasses, country music, Simon update, smoke alarm, Nanette, The Good Place/jabot, pergola, candle update, what did Mary call Bill when he was a baby?, giraffe attack, miso, Vera's second email, BREAK 32:30, Best of So Far: room, ruins, seashore, ship, BREAK 44:32, the donut challenge, Umpire Pants Out

We (well, Kelley) finally did it! It's the first Best Of!

Kelley put this together and we sat down to listen to the clips, then talk about the first clip we listened to, then record us talking about that, then immediately record us talking about the second clip, then listen to the 3rd and 4th clips, then talk about them back to back. It was very confusing! But it turned out funny so this is a good episode to tell your friends about. Or your enemies, acquaintances, co-workers, and any individuals you may encounter as you go about your day.

Ernst pic from Wikipedia: CC BY-SA 3.0, https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?curid=8929036

Bill and Kelley's intro, Kelley presents our certificates, nicknames, shout out to dinner, ice cream, horses, bad Little Golden Books, bad songs, eye doctor, murdering listeners, starting a cult, getting Mary to assassinate someone, Doug Baldwin, Fill Yer Belly Deli, Break 25:44, Best of So Far: Restaurant -> El Toreador -> eating a rubber band, River -> Columbia, Beckler, Missisip', Road -> winning a cruise -> Ireland, Costa Rica -> Kitchen Dick Road -> Union Hill Road -> woods party -> finding people before cell phones, Kelley's Hint List: Mary's knee, marshmallow scissors, soft and workable fudge frosting, second hand look on your kitchen range, odd cadence, hats, Mary's knee -> washing rayons and wearing nylons -> cranberry relish -> episode recap -> candles in the refrigerator -> more cranberry relish -> chutney -> grocery store apps, grating old cheese (repeat), stale dried up cheese spread -> onions, Umpire Pants Out

Its smoky out, going to the movies, Mary's knee, town names,are knee caps made of cartilage?, opening the car door, smoke advice: A/C, Nosferatu, not knowing names, Beanwater Challenge, email accounts, self-driving cars, jaywalking, Fur Coat Butt update, Beanwater Break, Beanwater 2018, donuts, BREAK, performance, pub, Kelley's Hint List: orange and lemon rinds, car battery, storing canned meats, Umpire Pants Out

Kelley does the intro, radio voices, Podcast Awards, special back to school episode, eggnog, Bellevue Arts and Crafts Fair crack pipes, peek behind the curtain, two foot yard boob, more Arts and Crafts Fair, ya, tv show podcasts, shoes and feet/relationship advice, Bill is panicking, Politalks, office, elephant and popcorn tricks, Seth Rogan, Kelley's Bill Cosby impression, people Bill has seen live who are dead, Phish Vs The Grateful Dead, BREAK 36:40, Kelley brings us back, Bill is tangled in cords, Best of So Far: museum, ocean, painting, Kelley's Hint List: storing green vegetables, flippin' song, fabric moths, Bush Meat City Limits, straight men and yo-yos, cake tin rust, canned vegetable juice, bean water challenge, Umpire Pants Out

Beach day, cool guy in a Trans Am, Narduwar the Human Serviette/eh and you know, the word relationship, "and more", clipping toenails, Murphy bed, ventriloquists, almost accident, John Travolta movies, Danny Trejo, no shoes at Target, fan quarterback, best live webcams: Katmai National Park, Cat's Meow Karaoke, first webcam ever, BREAK 39:33 Best of So Far: moment, motel, mountain, Kelley's Hint List: stair safety, celery tops, scrub oranges or potatoes, hubcap hose, chopped meat spoilage, Umpire Pants Out