Raising a teen on the autism spectrum often means balancing worries, hopes, and the constant pull of “shoulds.”  In this episode of The Parenting Pair Podcast, Dr. Annalise Caron and Dr. Suzanne Allen sit down with Dr. Lauren Turner Brown, an autism expert, to unpack the pressures of parenting a neurodivergent child, especially the weight of all the “shoulds” parents carry—the belief that our kids should be more independent, should socialize in certain ways, or should want the same things as their peers. Instead, she invites parents to pause, notice whose expectations are at play, and instead lean into what actually suits and supports a teen's unique path.

Together, they explore:

• Why transitions aren’t always what we think they are.
• How to reframe transitions as opportunities for growth and stability.
• Why “social success” looks different for every child, and how to honor your teen’s own goals.
• The power of clear, explicit communication for daily tasks and relationships.
• How relationships are two-sided, and the adjustments parents and siblings can make to improve connection.
• The importance of prioritizing life skills alongside academics.

Whether your teen is autistic, neurodivergent, or simply facing the ups and downs of adolescence, this episode offers grounded, compassionate strategies for navigating the complexities of adolescence, letting go of unrealistic “shoulds” and building stronger, more supportive connections at home and at school.

Highlights from this episode:

• 00:00 – Autism & Back-to-School: A Fresh Perspective
• 02:15 – Parenting Pressure: Letting Go of the “Shoulds”
• 03:21 –  Autism and Transitions
• 05:18 – Strategies to Help Kids Manage School Breaks With Less Structure
• 07:23 – Autism and Friendships: Navigating Social Life
• 11:00 – How Interest Based Activities Can Promote Social Interactions
• 11:51 – Is This Lower Social Interest or a Sign of Depression?
• 14:08 – When to Promote Social Skills in Autistic Teens
• 17:15 – The Benefits of Neurodivergent Friendships 
• 18:13 – How to Think about Independence & Teens with Autism
• 21:25 – From Abstract to Concrete: Language That Helps
• 24:08 – What Autistic Teens Wish Adults or Parents Understood 
• 26:27 – Guidance That Helps Parents Support Neurodivergent Kids

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