Unpacking Myself

I don't care which side of the fence you are, the truth is there is A LOT of outside noise right now. Outside noise that can provide input for our own lives is one thing but outside noise that we have no control over and can't change, can make us feel helpless and frustrated. This episode isn't a "let me show you how I did it" but rather a reminder for myself as I noticed myself getting "off track" by all the outside noise. Outside noise takes our focus away from the things in front of us so tune in to this episode, if you, like myself, want to snap out of it and bring your focus back to the things you can actually control and influence for the better.

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Somewhere along the way, many of us decided we had to be nice no matter what and that it comes before everything else. Being 'nice' was the badge of honor for being a good person, being liked, showing that you are evolved and awakened. And yes on the surface this all makes sense but not when we are doing it at the expense of being our authentic selves. Modern day self help and spirituality has led us astray from what the true end goal is, and we are sacrificing the real end goal just so we can be "nice and kind" to get external validation and praise. In this episode, I unpack why so many of us have it backwards and why it is important to lead with authenticity over being nice.

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Hard moments in our life can feel like a disruption to our happy, positive, upbeat lives but life was never designed for your comfort, it had a greater purpose, and if we stray away from the purpose of life, it has built in systems in place to help jolt us back onto the right path. How cool is that? But it takes some effort and practice to be able to spot these moments in our life, especially if we don't know how to or that something like this even exists. In this episode, I share why I get goosebumps just thinking about how life has always had my back and nudged me in the right direction when I am astray. Listen in to spot these moments in your life so you can take full advantage of life's nudges.

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The obvious answer would be, yes you have to deal with the hard, uncomfortable things that come to you in your life but what does "deal with it" mean? Many do and will avoid, deny, dismiss instead of going through it. I've done it many times as well. The thing we don't realize is that there is a consequence to doing this. If true authentic, strength could be built by avoiding, denying, dismissing then no one would ever deal with hard things in any other way. Having handled hard moments both ways myself, I can tell you there is a difference and only one way creates true strength, growth and authenticity. In this episode, I talk about why and what I have noticed as I have experimented with both methods in my life.

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The irony of perfectionism is that we chase it because we want people to accept us, like us, be impressed by us BUT in reality chasing perfectionism makes people feel less connected to us. How often do we love people because of how perfect they are? Rarely - and yet, we strive to be perfect. In this episode, I dive into when perfectionism becomes an issue and how it is truly perceived by others even though it helps us feel protected. Perfectionism also robs us of the true purpose of our being here on this planet and the experiences it gives us every single day. Listen in as I dive into all things perfectionism.

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Whether we realize it or not we sometimes pick and choose the parts of our life we want to show up for and put in the hard work for. For some parts - we might be intimidated by what needs to be done, we may not know how to tackle, we might be uncomfortable with the situation, so we avoid it. Purpose isn't about achieving money and career goals - its about tackling what life is throwing at you at any given moment because you trust that that is what you are meant to tackle in that moment. You can also avoid your purpose by you avoiding the hard and uncomfortable things in your life. People go their entire lifetimes not showing up for the hard parts of life but I learned recently that when you show up fully - for the good, the bad, the ugly - something amazing happens. In this episode I dive into why its so important to show up and put in the work in all aspects of your life, especially the ones you are avoiding and make you uncomfortable.

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I recently noticed that our idea of who we are at this very moment may not be fully based in reality. Why is this? There is who we think we are, who we are in this moment and who we want to be. All 3 of these things are not always aligned. We are often transitioning between the old us and the new us. What happens to our idea of who we are during these periods? Spiritual teachings say "know who you are" but I realized this could be misleading. In this episode, I dive into all of this and how better understanding what "know who you are" means can actually help you actually better know who you are, and ways that have helped me.

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Through my own experiences and hearing from many others recently, I realized that many people are being called to take a closer look at things they have been doing on autopilot for many years. Things that they dismissed, shoved under the rug and ignored, were now staring them in the face, forcing them to address it. People are being challenged to question their old ways of doing things. I felt this shift within me over the last few months and it has been hard and painful but the reward is moving closer to who you are, being more of your authentic self, having your outer world be more aligned with who you are. These are incredible things but can feel really hard and lonely. I share my own experience and journey around this in this episode. I hope it makes you feel understood and heard, and less alone in whatever journey you may be going through as we all kick off this new year.

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Is it possible that we might be missing the point of being human if we do not allow ourselves to feel deeply? Why do we stop ourselves or judge ourselves when we feel things deep within our being? I wonder if the message that we shouldn't live in our feelings long enough to cause suffering somehow turned into not feeling at all, being stoic at all times, being even keel at all times. Some of the most wonderful humans I know, feel big ! Why is that? I unpack all of this and how I realized that it was never about not feeling deeply, I just needed to reframe what it meant to feel deeply.

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These days "values" has become a word like many others that we sometimes casually and carelessly throw around. I recently realized its a lot easier to recite what our values are, than to defend them, speak up for them, walk away because of them. There are people who simply talk about values and then those who integrate them into how they live their life. In this episode, I talk about this realization I had and what I started observing in my own life and around me. It's easier to bend the rules as far as your values go then to be a stickler about them but in an experiment I did, I realized that there is a surprising outcome to sticking to your values despite the discomfort and fears. Listen in as I unpack the complexities of "values."

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