Vulnerability is Cool

this is my most vulnerable episode yet, and it’s a download of everything that’s been moving through me lately.i share my story with sexual assault, including the experiences i didn’t realize counted as assault for years, and how learning about creative life force (sexual) energy has changed how i see my past, the men in it, and what i actually want to create. we talk about staying in my own energy at a festival in mexico instead of looking for someone to escape into, the night i told a best friend my biggest fear, what intentional dissociation has taught me through plant medicine, ketamine therapy, and travel, why integration is where the magic happens, acting as if, oliver tree’s legacy, maria sabina, and why i believe to know someone is to love them.this one’s long and a little all over the place, the way my brain actually works. thank you for sitting with me.content note: this episode includes discussion of sexual assault, substance use, and past suicidal thoughts. take care of yourself while listening. if you need support in the US: RAINN 1-800-656-4673, or call/text 988.if you have ocd and want to understand yours deeper, my guide “ocd is my superpower” is $27 (message me if that’s not accessible and we’ll work something out).

i'm back from burning man and still riding the high, so i sat down to share everything i learned this year: the shifts, the lessons, the moments that pushed me deeeeper into my purpose.we get into why burning man doesn't change everyone the same way, and why it was never actually about the event for me, it's about being intentional about finding myself instead of escaping myself. i talk about the diplo dance floor moment i'll never forget, choosing confidence over the insecurities i've hidden my whole life, and a new way i've been explaining ocd and a million other things.this one's a little all over the place, in the best way. burning man always is.if this resonated, i'd love if you left a review or subscribed, it means so much."OCD Is My Superpower" Guide of my journey of learning to dance with my brain instead of fighting it is found here: GUIDE 🌸

This week we are talking liveeee from the playaaa, I recorded this one before my burn started, sharing my actual intentions going into Burning Man and how I approach festivals as something to more deeply understand myself instead of losing myself. This is a big brain dump of my thoughts from manifestation to accepting life as it is to deciding that everything is easy. If you've ever judged something before trying it, or thought you needed permission to be fully yourself, this episode is your reminder that the magic was never out there, it's been you the whole time.

New episodes every Monday

"OCD Is My Superpower" Guide of my journey of learning to dance with my brain instead of fighting it is found here 🌸

This week we are talkinngggg: self-talk, mindset, manifestation, and how your inner conversation is either ruining your life or building it.You deserve your own love first. You deserve to feel safe with yourself. You deserve to become someone you actually enjoy being alone with, because there is no point spending your life hating yourself. Being alone with my own thoughts has become one of my favorite things and I hope this episode will help you feel the same about yours!Listen to the full episode and ask yourself, what station have I been tuned into? Then choose again. Choose, choose, choose.New episodes every Monday."OCD Is My Superpower" is NOW LIVE if you want to understand your brain with more compassion. It's $27. Linked here! & here is the link to the manifestation playlist I love <3

This week we are talkinggggg about the realization that changed my entire relationship with my own brain, going from thinking something was fundamentally wrong with me, to understanding my OCD, to actually calling it my superpower and meaning it.A little bit of this, a little bit of that:- My very first OCD memory at four years old, and how long it took me to realize that's what it even was- Growing up Mormon and what scrupulosity OCD actually feels like from the inside- Relationship OCD, sexuality OCD, information OCD, the subtypes nobody tells you about- The most powerful phrase I've ever learned for my OCD: "maybe, maybe not"- Why I stopped treating OCD like a monster in my brain and started befriending it instead- Choosing trust over fear, and how that one shift changed literally everything, from leaving Mormonism to moving to Bali to going to Burning ManIf you've ever felt like your brain was working against you, this episode is proof it can become the thing that propels you forward instead.New episodes every MondayMy OCD guide, OCD Is My Superpower, is now live!

Ayahuasca episodes

SENDING YOU ALL OF THE LOVE 💌 ☀️

This one is my cousin Leah, and it's one of the realest conversations I've ever recorded on this podcast. We found each other a few years ago through a DNA test and became instant best friends, and this episode is her whole story.

We get into her being groomed by a much older man starting at 14, the depression and suicidal thoughts she carried through high school, the pattern of toxic relationships that followed her into her twenties, and her rock bottom. Then we get into how she came back from all of it, therapy, inner child work, learning to actually listen to her own nervous system, and building a life she now wakes up excited for.

This episode is heavy in places. It's also so mf hopeful and inspiring. If you've ever wondered whether you can come back from your worst chapter, Leah is proof that you can ! <3

new episodes every monday

This week we are talkinngggg about the mindset shift that changed everything for me, from walking into rooms feeling like everyone else had it figured out, to fully stepping into my own confidence and creating the life I used to only write about in my journal.

A little bit of this, a little bit of that:
- How I went from feeling like an outsider everywhere I went to choosing confidence on purpose
- Why jealousy is actually just a map to what you really want
- Manifestation, "acting as if," and speaking your reality into existence
- Leaving Mormonism, toxic relationships, and starting completely from zero
- Why slowing down has made me more successful, not less
- Why your authenticity, even the "weird" parts ! is your superpower

If you've ever looked at someone else's life and thought "I wish I could do that," this episode is your reminder: they started exactly where you are right now.

New episodes every monday

My OCD guide is coming very soon, everything I've learned about manifestation and stepping into my truest self

episode 2 of season 2 baby! this one's a little different, I sat down with a monk in Thailand. an actual monk ! who's been ordained for 17 years, who I met at a meditation retreat and just had to ask if I could interview lol.

we get into his whole story, becoming a novice monk at nine years old, heartbreak sending him into meditation as a teenager, ordaining for what was supposed to be eight months and never leaving, and what it's actually like to give a blessing to every person in your community rich, poor, dying, grieving and realize everyone is carrying the same suffering underneath.

we talk about ego, attachment, why happiness that comes from inside is different from happiness from stuff/validation/outside things, and he gives some of the most simple but profound advice on self-compassion I've ever heard.

welcome to season two baby! this is my whole story. being raised Mormon, getting sexually abused when I was 4, leaving home at 14, getting engaged at 21 after three months of dating (so Mormon of me), the breakup that sent me into a spiral I didn't even have language for yet, finding out I had OCD, suicidal ideation, ketamine therapy, ayahuasca, burning man and somehow ending up in my dream location, Bali.

if you're new here, this is where I'm from and why I'm so obsessed with mental health. & if you're old here hehe welcome back!

YA GURL IS IN BALI BABY. This is a solo catch-up episode. Talking through what’s been moving through my body and brain since buying a one-way ticket and landing here.I talk about finally feeling regulated. About not being in a toxic relationship for the first time in my life and what it’s like to choose myself without waiting for permission. About why I’m not trying to reinvent myself, I’m just realigning with who I’ve always been.We get into living your life for you, setting boundaries around the holidays, why time limits are allowed, and why “I have a meeting” can mean a meeting with yourself. I share how I protect my energy now, why I stopped forcing myself into spaces that don’t feel good, and what it looks like to respect your sensitivity instead of fighting it.I also talk about OCD, PMDD, morning pages, creativity, intuition, and learning how to work with my mind instead of against it. And why being sensitive isn’t a weakness, it’s literally how you filter what stays and what goes.This episode is messy, honest, and very much a brain dump. But the through-line is simple:
the more you are yourself, the more aligned your life becomes. In relationships, in work, in everything.If you’re tired of living out of alignment, this one’s for you baby!