Weekly Skews

Happy Skews Day. Companies say screw it and start reporting bribes as business expenses. The government is doing Abbottabad Raids on college kids who hang fliers. Canada votes “Death to Amérique, eh.” And Elon truly innovates, combining his new company town with a cult. Well, one of his cults.

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Howdy. A.I. did what to John Cena now? Neil Gorsuch is mad at gay cartoon dogs. Chuck Schumer is mad at an imaginary past. Then we get into the Deep State’s effort to take down Pete Hegseth by tattling.

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We talk about Mexican sex ghosts and the government’s plan to stop immigration with an AI apparently trained on Blaxploitation movies. Then, the government’s continuing cartoonish efforts to make one guy into a supervillain because then we can scrap the concept of rights. I mean who you gonna trust? A guy whose knuckle tats we photoshopped, or a cop who got fired for driving drunk into someone’s house?

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We’re sorry, but you have to die in the gulag because the White House beat the Supreme Court at Boggle. Tariffs are so confusing that Gretchen Whitmer is playing peekaboo in the Oval Office. Then, we talk about RFK Jr.’s big plan for the measles outbreak in Texas. It’s one page titled: “Make it Worse.” 

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Today, Trump’s trying Super Brexit, apparently because he lost a piano auction to a Japanese guy in 1988 (not kiddin’). We’re talking tariffs that the White House can’t agree on why they’re doing them, apparently formulated by ChatGPT (really not kiddin’). And how we need to fix the trade deficit by making the people of Myanmar buy Cadillacs. It’s a lot, and of course there’s a nepo baby Soundcloud rapper involved. Join us.

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Today we have an official attack on the civil rights of imaginary teen furries. There’s elections Tuesday, which means of course there’s a guy who’s pro sexy dances for autistic children, and Elon’s doing double corrupt fraud in Wisconsin. Plus, we discuss how law firms will make money after announcing laws aren’t real. (It’s by funneling bribes for a guy who sold engineless trucks.) 

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Today, Trump goes to war with his biggest adversaries yet: The Golden Girls. A popcorn warlord rich moron attempts a one-man mayoral coup in a small village in New York, proving once again America has an unlimited supply of Guys Like This. Plus, the administration’s plan to Abu Ghraib everyone who frowns at a Tesla, and why are they acting like he’s going broke? All that and more on tonight’s Skews.

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DOGE has innovated a new kind of dog that doesn’t need food, don’t worry about it. Plus there’s a new government-funded style influencer who posts videos smiling over the blood curdling screams of her fired co-workers. Then we get into the latest on Mahmoud Khalil, and whether Trump can successfully cram the first amendment on a rendition flight.

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Today, we’re talking about Canada’s yellowcake uranium, Wayne Gretzky becoming their Hanoi Jane, and how they found their freedom fries. Then, Tennessee Brando joins us to discuss how one Volunteer State congressman chilling in a Bible thumping treehouse connects to everything going on in politics: financial fraud, fundamentalism, pathetic sucking up, and a rich donor who made his wife watch sex tapes he made with other women.

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Good news Skewers, there’s a patriot out there fighting for your god given American right to use third graders as speed bumps. Plus, a hot new murder cult that’s bad because some of the members are tran. Then we get into all the really rinky-dink ways everything is for sale in America now, especially if you’re a cybercriminal crypto warlord who eats $6 million bananas.

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