We're Not F***ing Historians

Novelist Hazel Hayes takes pamphlet fan Shane Todd through the chaotic life and times of one of Ireland's most celebrated writers: Oscar Wilde. Plus, Shane makes his feelings known about poetry and an archaeologist gets in touch.

EMAILS: we're recording a St Patrick's Day special, so send us your favourite Paddy's Day stories to [email protected]! Find us on socials @thehazelhayes or @shanetodd and @shanetoddcomedy.

***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In fifth century Ireland, reality television reached its peak.

Shane 'The Most Famous' Todd walks Hazel 'Neighbour to Damien Dempsey' Hayes through the story of Niall of the Nine Hostages, who took over Ireland and invaded Europe after clinching an incredibly intense edition of "Ireland’s Next Top High King". 

Oh, and Niall also has the most descendants in the modern world behind Genghis Khan. Strap in!

Tell us where you’re tuning in from at [email protected]! You can also email us with stories you’d like us to cover, your favourite trivia, or anything you want to add to previous episodes!

***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Sick of all that lovey-dovey Valentine’s Day smush? Fear not, Hazel and Shane are here with a friendly reminder that February 14 is actually the anniversary of some bloke getting beheaded!

Hazel tells Shane about the life of St Valentine, who may or may not have made some banging mixtapes, and how he came to settle in an unlikely city of love: Dublin. Plus, a stunning rendition of Peter Andre – listen to the end...

Send us love letters to [email protected]! You can also email us with stories you’d like us to cover, your favourite trivia, or anything you want to add to previous episodes!

***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Today, we’re throwing it all the way back to prehistoric Ireland and Shane has some seismic revelations in store for Hazel. What were the first humans on Ireland like? What did they get up to? And what exactly can the pod offer in exchange for some ancient bear bones?

Send us bear bones to [email protected]! You can also email us with stories you’d like us to cover, your favourite trivia, or anything you want to add to previous episodes!

***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Darlings! This week, Hazel tells Shane all about Bram Stoker: thespy-type, writer, part-time slacker and the creator of Dracula no less! Born in Clontarf, we find out why his mother’s terrible choice of bedtime stories and some of Ireland’s weirdest folk tales inspired one of the most famous novels of all time.

Plus, Shane learns about blood-letting, Hazel picks up a new phrase, and Gary Oldman angrily orders a Nando’s dressed as a vampire.

Get a load of brand new shiny inbox: [email protected]! Email us with stories you’d like us to cover, your favourite trivia, or anything you’d like to add to previous episodes!

***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Shane tells the extraordinary story of Baltimore, a sleepy village in County Cork which in 1631 was whisked away by pirates in the dead of night. Everyone was taken apart from two villagers.

Hazel and Shane ask the important questions: how many people were sleeping without any pyjamas on that night? Why did anyone bother to live near the coast back in the day? And just how annoying must those two people have been for the pirates to let them go?

Get a load of brand new shiny inbox: [email protected]! Email us with stories you’d like us to cover, your favourite trivia, or anything you’d like to add to previous episodes!

***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week, Shane and Hazel are broadcasting remote to bring you the episode we’ve all been waiting for: it’s the history of the leprechaun!

They reflect on of their (weird) depictions in pop culture, Shane reveals one very odd wish he would ask for if he caught one of the pesky troublemakers, and there’s discussion about some recent sightings which probably don’t hold a lot of water but almost certainly do hold a lot of beer. 

Get a load of brand new shiny inbox: [email protected]! Email us with stories you’d like us to cover, your favourite trivia, or anything you’d like to add to previous episodes!

***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Remember those pesky, sexy Vikings who took down Brian Boru? They're back on the pod and they're pillaging more monasteries than ever before.

Hazel explains why for Ireland the Vikings were like that mate that constantly crashes on your sofa, clarifies that they did not build a 10th century Aldi, and reintroduces us to alpha Soup Dragon Sigtrygg Silkbeard. Plus, Shane reveals the gruesome story behind one of English's most well-known catchphrases.

Get a load of brand new shiny inbox: [email protected]! Email us with stories you’d like us to cover, your favourite trivia, or anything you’d like to add to previous episodes!

***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Shane tells the true story of Belfast's tragic export, the RMS Titanic. Featuring myth-busting, dodgy maths and *a lot* of soapy lube.

Get a load of our brand new shiny inbox: [email protected]! Email us with stories you’d like us to cover, your favourite trivia, or anything you’d like to add to previous episodes!

***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Meet Queen Maeve: Irish folklore's most fearsome and bloodthirsty warrior, who waged war on Ulster just to get hold of a cow. And trust us, that's not even the strangest part of today's tale!

Along the way, we discover what Shane looks for in a husband and there's a pact to join an ancient Irish folk festival.

Get a load of our brand new shiny inbox: [email protected]! Email us with stories you’d like us to cover, your favourite trivia, or anything you'd like to add to past episodes!

***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.