What is a Good Life?

What is a Good Life? #87 - Seeing Yourself In The Other with Dr. Niobe Way


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On the 87th episode of the What is a Good Life? podcast, I am delighted to welcome our guest, Dr. Niobe Way. Niobe is Professor of Developmental Psychology at NYU, founder of the Project for the Advancement of Our Common Humanity (PACH; pach.org), and the Principal Investigator of the Listening Project, which fosters curiosity and connection in schools across New York City. Niobe has served as President of the Society for Research on Adolescence (SRA), holds a B.A. from U.C. Berkeley, a doctorate from the Graduate School of Education at Harvard University, and was a postdoctoral fellow at the National Institute of Mental Health at Yale University.

With nearly 40 years of experience researching adolescent social and emotional development, Niobe has authored or co-authored over 100 peer-reviewed articles. She is the author of Deep Secrets: Boys’ Friendships and the Crisis of Connection and her latest book, Rebels with a Cause: Reimagining Boys, Ourselves, and Our Culture.

In this illuminating conversation, Niobe explores what it means to be human and how this is shaped by cultural context, the clash between our nature and culture, and the importance of listening to stories as well as examining data. She highlights the dangers of living in a culture that no longer listens and how much of what is needed for greater connection already exists within us.

If your relationships lack the depth and connection you long for, or if you are struggling to cultivate greater intimacy and curiosity in your life, Niobe offers a wealth of insights, anecdotes, and even exercises for you to consider and practise to reveal your innate capacities for connection.

Subscribe for weekly episodes, every Tuesday, and check out my YouTube channel (link below) for full interviews and clips.

For further content and information check out the following:

Niobe's book: https://www.brilliant-books.net/book/9780593184264
Niobe's website: https://www.niobe-way.com/
Niobe's LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/niobe-way-75270534/

Photo credit: Daniel Root


- For the podcast's YouTube page: https://www.youtube.com/@whatisagoodlife/videos
- My newsletter: https://www.whatisagood.life/
- My LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mark-mccartney-14b0161b4/

Contact me at [email protected] if you'd like to further explore your own lines of self-inquiry or create experiences that lead to more connecting and genuine conversations amongst groups of people or you'd like to join my weekly silent conversation groups.


00:00 Introduction
03:00 What it means to be human

06:30 Crossing the lines

11:57 What different groups can teach us about ourselves

15:10 Privileging the hard over the soft

20:55 Interpersonal curiosity

24:00 Thin and thick stories

27:00 Breaking stereotypes through stories

32:30 Living in a culture that no longer listens

40:00 Innate intelligence we have forgotten

42:30 The root of our suffering and illness

48:05 The fear of not being seen as we see ourselves

53:17 The natural skills within us to solve our problems

1:01:42 What is a good life for Niobe?

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What is a Good Life?By Mark McCartney

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