I've often heard you talk about the love that we find when all our believed thoughts and illusions are finally dropped.  Obviously, I've never gotten anywhere near a million miles away from even first base in this respect, but I'm feeling a tad anxious and lacking that even in my most "oh, I think I just had a bit of a glimpse of what everyone's pointing at" moments, I never seem to have any kind of connection with anything like a love feeling.  I can feel nice and peaceful and calm enough, yes, but it's a pleasantly nothingy kind of feeling at best.  So I was wondering if one day you could talk a bit more about this love and joy and expansive freedom that is real Reality, and -  oh, I don't know - I suppose I'm asking you to make me feel a bit better at not being able to feel it. Sorry.  Told you I'm a real pain.  But I truly am curious/puzzled as to what exactly you mean when you use the word "love" for what lies beyond.

Still, I do know what I mean when I say all love to you,