When you think about sex, what is the goal for you? Is it to have an orgasm, or to make sure your partner has one? Is it to show your partner how much you love them and to validate your relationship? Is it something else?

For most of my life, the goal of sex was orgasm. My orgasm mostly, but at times her orgasm was my priority as well. I picked that goal up from porn, from media, from peers. 

Sometimes the goal of sex for me was to fulfill the expectation (and sometimes obligation) of being "in love". It was a way to make myself feel like my relationship was mature, legitimate, and secure. 

Having goals like that created some interesting beliefs about sex, myself, my partner, intimacy, love, and relationships. (and by interesting I mean unhealthy, judgmental, scarce, intimidating, self deprecating, and sexist). 

But there are other goals of sex that can create a much more powerful, loving and connected experience. 

In today's episode I'm diving into the goal of sex and am serving up a few alternative perspectives that can help you create a more powerful and healthy sexual experience. 

It goes without saying on this one, but today's podcast is definitely explicit. So be mindful of listening around young ears. 

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