How Understanding Love Languages Can Transform Relationships

Gary Chapman’s book series on the Five Love Languages inspired a whole new way to look at relationships.

Relationships are complex, but learning to understand each other can make a world of difference. On a recent episode of LOA Today, host Walt Thiessen joined life coach Joel Elston and guest Jenny Tuggle for a thought-provoking discussion about love languages and how recognizing our own needs and those of loved ones can foster deeper connection.

The conversation began by reflecting on Gary Chapman’s five love languages – quality time, acts of service, gifts, words of affirmation, and physical touch. Jenny shared how her understanding of love languages has evolved over time and in different relationships. “I think it’s kind of a complex thing…you have a way that you, you know, you prefer to receive love or what makes you feel loved. But also, we also have a way that we show love to others. And those two things may not be the same.”

Joel realized he had never considered his own love language, despite being a giver. This inspired meaningful self-reflection. Walt noted that truly understanding aJen partner’s love language could have saved his marriage.

The discussion then turned to codependency. Joel told a heart-wrenching story of a mother enabling her son’s heroin addiction, showing how codependency can masquerade as love. Walt asked the important question – “If we’re trying to avoid feeding into codependency and wanting to replace it with a true expression of love, how do we understand when a need being expressed is codependent?”

Throughout, the hosts emphasized perspectives evolve and relationships change over time. Walt said “Love languages are about communication. By getting information from love languages, you understand the person and how you relate.” With open communication and awareness of our own patterns and biases, relationships can grow in understanding and care.

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