Presented by Lauren Stibgen

Sometimes when we are in the midst of a conflict, we talk about it with others to seek counsel. Seeking counsel from others is not a bad thing. In fact, Proverbs 15:22 tells us that without counsel plans fail, but with many advisers they succeed, and in Proverbs 24:6 we learn surely you need guidance to wage war, and victory is won through many advisers.

Sometimes during a conflict, we seek counsel from people who may tell us what we want to hear instead of what we need to hear. You know that group of friends or colleagues that always seems to share your point of view, the ones that cheer you on and will tell you the other party is just plain wrong. In industrial psychology, we call this group think. Irving Janus, a Yale psychologist defines group think as a mode of thinking that people in a group engage in where striving for unanimity overrides the motivation to realistically appraise alternative courses of action.

Finding people that will agree with us can certainly feel good in the moment, but it can have monumental consequences when it comes to resolving a conflict.

In 1 Kings 22 Jehoshaphat sought counsel to discern whether he should go to battle. The prophets that he would typically take counsel from told him to go … for the Lord will give it into the king’s hand (1 Kings 22:6). When he asked if there was another prophet that he could inquire of, Micaiah was suggested. Jehoshaphat states, I hate him because he never prophesies anything good about me, but always bad (1 Kings 22:8). In the remaining verses of 1 Kings 22 we learn Jehosaphat goes to battle after not listening to Micaiah, and he lost his life.

When you are seeking advice during a conflict, are you listening to wise counsel or are you listening to the voices that always agree with you? And more importantly are you seeking counsel from other believers?

Good counsel asks questions; it challenges you and will seek to help you maintain and discern how you can come to a good resolution to a conflict. Good counsel will turn you toward God’s Word and to your relationship with Jesus as you look for solutions in whatever situation you are in.