WHEN DATING HURTS

This episode comes with a long list of warning signs. The graphic descriptions of domestic violence in this survivor story can be triggering to some. There are instances of "adult language", as well. But the scenes depicted needed to be included so listeners can hear what often happens in unhealthy relationships. Please decide carefully whether you should listen to this episode or not.

Bruce Bieber's daughter, Abigail Rose Bieber (Abby), was tragically murdered in an officer-involved domestic violence (OIDV) incident on January 29, 2022. She was a Hillsborough County Sheriff's Office deputy and was killed by her intimate partner, Daniel Leyden, who was also a detective in the same office. Leyden then committed suicide. 

Bruce Bieber has become an advocate against OIDV, working to raise awareness and push for mandatory policies and accountability nationwide to prevent similar tragedies. He shares his family's story and the systemic failures that allowed his daughter's murder to occur. Leyden had a prior history of domestic violence known to the sheriff's office but not acted upon meaningfully. 

There is much to be learned about OIDV but also the warning signs ignored by many involved. One of Leyden's ex-girlfriends, Chynna Ratner, is also included in this WHEN DATING HURTS episode. It is haunting to listen to Chynna tell what she experienced. She is fortunate to be alive.

Chynna's story (nd more) can be found on the This Sh*t's Hard Podcast. It features candid, raw, co-hosted conversations with people who "do the hard sh*t".

This Sh*t's Hard Podcast⁠ gets right down to the biggest challenges of life, business, and everything in between. They have episodes on dating, building and scaling a brand, changing sexual preferences, the business of fashion, travel wellness, exercise, and entertainment television... and so much more. Always encompassing their favorite mantra: "We are happy, we are healthy, we are wealthy, and we are smoke shows."

Give This Sh*t's Hard Podcast⁠ a listen!

Bill Mitchell

NOTE:

If you are a survivor and want to share your story of abuse on the WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast, please email me: ⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠

The ⁠⁠⁠WHEN DATING HURTS book⁠⁠⁠ (in paperback, eBook, and audiobook) can be found on Amazon.

HELPFUL RESOURCES:

• National Domestic Violence Hotline – ⁠⁠⁠The Hotline.org ⁠⁠⁠– Call 800-799-SAFE

• ⁠⁠⁠LoveIsRespect⁠⁠⁠ – Call 866-331-9474

• RAINN (Rape Abuse Incest National Network) – ⁠⁠⁠RAINN.org⁠⁠⁠ – Call 800-656-4673

• SUICIDE HELPLINE: Call 988

Thank you for listening to our WHEN DATING HURTS podcast,

Bill Mitchell

⁠⁠⁠WhenDatingHurts.com⁠⁠⁠

DISCLAIMER:

The WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast is providing this platform for information to be shared. We do not state with any certainty that anything is true or untrue. Understand that what you hear is the viewpoint of the people sharing. The information, opinions, and recommendations presented in this Podcast are for general information only. Any reliance on the information provided in this Podcast is done at your own risk. This Podcast should not be considered professional advice.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Caroline Orman is a domestic violence survivor and author from the UK.

Her debut book, THE OTHER SIDE OF FEAR, is a narrative non-fiction that tells of the incredible events that took place after she left her abusive marriage. It can be found on Amazon.

In this WHEN DATING HURTS episode, she will tell us about her marriage to a man who became increasingly more abusive. There were two children involved and a difficult tug-of-war began to see who would gain custody of one or both.

Caroline will share what she learned about domestic violence: its complexities, its layers, and nuances. She knows only through education awareness can we put a stop to this deadly cycle.

Caroline has a website. I encourage you to visit: CarolineOrmanAuthor.com.

Bill Mitchell

NOTE:

If you are a survivor and want to share your story of abuse on the WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast, please email me: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

The ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠WHEN DATING HURTS book⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ (in paperback, eBook, and audiobook) can be found on Amazon.

HELPFUL RESOURCES:

• National Domestic Violence Hotline – ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Hotline.org ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠– Call 800-799-SAFE

• ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠LoveIsRespect⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ – Call 866-331-9474

• RAINN (Rape Abuse Incest National Network) – ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠RAINN.org⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ – Call 800-656-4673

• SUICIDE HELPLINE: Call 988

Thank you for listening to our WHEN DATING HURTS podcast,

Bill Mitchell

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠WhenDatingHurts.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

DISCLAIMER:

The WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast is providing this platform for information to be shared. We do not state with any certainty that anything is true or untrue. Understand that what you hear is the viewpoint of the people sharing. The information, opinions, and recommendations presented in this Podcast are for general information only. Any reliance on the information provided in this Podcast is done at your own risk. This Podcast should not be considered professional advice.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This episode comes with content warnings. To be able to accurately describe the level of verbal and physical abuse in this story, it was necessary to include actual accounts that include obscene language, drug usage, and violent acts.

The intent of the WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast is never to sensationalize abuse. But there is the need to allow actual survivors to report their stories as they remember them without editing. Abuse is ugly.

We want our listeners will learn to be able to detect, avoid, and break free from impending intimate partner violence in any form.

This is part two, the final episode in this story.

This story is actually two survivor stories in one.

Melody and Lizzie are each survivors of Harry, a toxic serial abuser.

What makes what you're about to hear so unique is Melody and Lizzie were married to Harry in succession. One after the other. You will see how an abuser can be methodical. In both cases, the attraction to him at first was quite similar – so were the warning signs, the mounting concerns, the emotional and verbal abuse, and the physical abuse.

Of course there were similarities – they were married to the same abuser.

Harry merely took what worked in one relationship into the next relationship. We will first hear Melody's story. Then we will move to Lizzie's story.

See that if they knew and followed the warning signs, they would have missed a lifetime a misery from this one predatory abuser.

Bill Mitchell

NOTE:

If you are a survivor and want to share your story of abuse on the WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast, please email me: ⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠

The ⁠⁠⁠⁠WHEN DATING HURTS book⁠⁠⁠⁠ (in paperback, eBook, and audiobook) can be found on Amazon.

HELPFUL RESOURCES:

• National Domestic Violence Hotline – ⁠⁠⁠⁠The Hotline.org ⁠⁠⁠⁠– Call 800-799-SAFE

• ⁠⁠⁠⁠LoveIsRespect⁠⁠⁠⁠ – Call 866-331-9474

• RAINN (Rape Abuse Incest National Network) – ⁠⁠⁠⁠RAINN.org⁠⁠⁠⁠ – Call 800-656-4673

• SUICIDE HELPLINE: Call 988

Thank you for listening to our WHEN DATING HURTS podcast,

Bill Mitchell

⁠⁠⁠⁠WhenDatingHurts.com⁠⁠⁠⁠

DISCLAIMER:

The WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast is providing this platform for information to be shared. We do not state with any certainty that anything is true or untrue. Understand that what you hear is the viewpoint of the people sharing. The information, opinions, and recommendations presented in this Podcast are for general information only. Any reliance on the information provided in this Podcast is done at your own risk. This Podcast should not be considered professional advice.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This episode comes with content warnings. To be able to accurately describe the level of verbal and physical abuse in this story, it was necessary to include actual accounts that include obscene language, drug usage, and violent acts.

The intent of the WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast is never to sensationalize abuse. But there is the need to allow actual survivors to report their stories as they remember them without editing. Abuse is ugly.

We want our listeners will learn to be able to detect, avoid, and break free from impending intimate partner violence in any form.

This is part one of a two-part story.

This story is actually two survivor stories in one.

Melody and Lizzie are each survivors of Harry, a toxic serial abuser.

What makes what you're about to hear so unique is Melody and Lizzie were married to Harry in succession. One after the other. You will see how an abuser can be methodical. In both cases, the attraction to him at first was quite similar – so were the warning signs, the mounting concerns, the emotional and verbal abuse, and the physical abuse.

Of course there were similarities – they were married to the same abuser.

Harry merely took what worked in one relationship into the next relationship. We will first hear Melody's story. Then we will move to Lizzie's story.

See that if they knew and followed the warning signs, they would have missed a lifetime a misery from this one predatory abuser.

Bill Mitchell

NOTE:

If you are a survivor and want to share your story of abuse on the WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast, please email me: ⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠

The ⁠⁠⁠WHEN DATING HURTS book⁠⁠⁠ (in paperback, eBook, and audiobook) can be found on Amazon.

HELPFUL RESOURCES:

• National Domestic Violence Hotline – ⁠⁠⁠The Hotline.org ⁠⁠⁠– Call 800-799-SAFE

• ⁠⁠⁠LoveIsRespect⁠⁠⁠ – Call 866-331-9474

• RAINN (Rape Abuse Incest National Network) – ⁠⁠⁠RAINN.org⁠⁠⁠ – Call 800-656-4673

• SUICIDE HELPLINE: Call 988

Thank you for listening to our WHEN DATING HURTS podcast,

Bill Mitchell

⁠⁠⁠WhenDatingHurts.com⁠⁠⁠

DISCLAIMER:

The WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast is providing this platform for information to be shared. We do not state with any certainty that anything is true or untrue. Understand that what you hear is the viewpoint of the people sharing. The information, opinions, and recommendations presented in this Podcast are for general information only. Any reliance on the information provided in this Podcast is done at your own risk. This Podcast should not be considered professional advice.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This episode comes with a long list of warning signs. The graphic descriptions of domestic violence in this survivor story can be triggering to some. But the scenes depicted needed to be included so listeners can know what often happens in unhealthy relationships. Please decide carefully whether you should listen to this episode or not.

Kelly Sutliff felt she had the perfect husband until the day he nearly killed her. There were warning signs, but she either did not interpret them or she ignored them.

Kelly tells us exactly what it was like to be married to this man. We can see how easy it is to be tricked by someone as practiced as her husband, Chris. She will explain, in detail, the day she was nearly murdered by him.

Today, as a survivor, Kelly has managed to pick up the pieces of her life and is living a better life than she would ever have imagined.

For protection after she broke free from her abusive predator husband, Kelly acquired a protection dog named Stella. This led to her immense appreciation and love for these life-protectors. She now has two additional protection dogs.

If that is not enough, Kelly started a non-profit to help both train protection dogs and find those in need of these magnificent dogs. It's entitled Kelly's K9s, Tails of Courage.

You can learn more by following the link provided here: Kelly’s K9s, Tails of Courage.⁠ You can donate to Kelly's K9s by following this link.

Kelly’s K9s relies solely on your generous donations and support.  It costs a minimum of $25,000 to breed and train a protection dog.  While $25,000 may seem like a significant amount, the safety and empowerment of domestic violence survivors are worth every penny.  Their lives, their futures, and their right to live free from fear and harm are priceless. 

NOTE:

If you are a survivor and want to share your story of abuse on the WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast, please email me: ⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠

The ⁠⁠WHEN DATING HURTS book⁠⁠ (in paperback, eBook, and audiobook) can be found on Amazon.

HELPFUL RESOURCES:

• National Domestic Violence Hotline – ⁠⁠The Hotline.org ⁠⁠– Call 800-799-SAFE

• ⁠⁠LoveIsRespect⁠⁠ – Call 866-331-9474

• RAINN (Rape Abuse Incest National Network) – ⁠⁠RAINN.org⁠⁠ – Call 800-656-4673

• SUICIDE HELPLINE: Call 988

Thank you for listening to our WHEN DATING HURTS podcast,

Bill Mitchell

⁠⁠WhenDatingHurts.com⁠⁠

DISCLAIMER:

The WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast is providing this platform for information to be shared. We do not state with any certainty that anything is true or untrue. Understand that what you hear is the viewpoint of the people sharing. The information, opinions, and recommendations presented in this Podcast are for general information only. Any reliance on the information provided in this Podcast is done at your own risk. This Podcast should not be considered professional advice.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is our second interview with Michele Locke. She is a lawyer, she was a judge, she is a mother, and she is a DV survivor

Michele answers questions about how survivors and bystanders can better handle a developing dating or domestic violence relationship.

We are fortunate to have dating abuse and domestic violence survivors identify our WHEN DATING HURTS podcast as a safe place to tell their stories of freedom.

These successful escapes from horrible abuse are why listeners come to WHEN DATING HURTS for life-saving advice. It feels so good to know ascendance from abuse is attainable.

MICHELE LOCKE

This time, we are honored to listen to a different perspective. Michele Locke is a lawyer. She has also spent years as a judge who presiding over more than 5,000 cases involving families. She has seen it all and, at times, has felt she has seen too much.

Listen to our important interview with lawyer and judge Michele Locke. This will dispell some of our myths about 'DV".

If you have a unique viewpoint about dating abuse and domestic violence, this is the right place to join us and share with our listeners.

NOTE:

If you are a survivor and want to share your story of abuse on the WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast, please email me: ⁠[email protected]⁠

The ⁠WHEN DATING HURTS book⁠ (in paperback, eBook, and audiobook) can be found on Amazon.

HELPFUL RESOURCES:

• National Domestic Violence Hotline – ⁠The Hotline.org ⁠– Call 800-799-SAFE

• ⁠LoveIsRespect⁠ – Call 866-331-9474

• RAINN (Rape Abuse Incest National Network) – ⁠RAINN.org⁠ – Call 800-656-4673

• SUICIDE HELPLINE: Call 988

Thank you for listening to our WHEN DATING HURTS podcast,

Bill Mitchell

⁠WhenDatingHurts.com⁠

DISCLAIMER:

The WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast is providing this platform for information to be shared. We do not state with any certainty that anything is true or untrue. Understand that what you hear is the viewpoint of the people sharing. The information, opinions, and recommendations presented in this Podcast are for general information only. Any reliance on the information provided in this Podcast is done at your own risk. This Podcast should not be considered professional advice.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is a rerelease of a story that was published about one year ago.

This is part two of a two-part story.

Deborah’s narrative takes us to places many of us have never been before. She spent time in the US Navy and then the US Army. We go to Virginia, California, Kentucky, and even Afghanistan before her return to the US.

Before heading into Afghanistan with the US Army, Deborah meets Scott, who does a brilliant portrayal of being everyone’s best buddy while winning over Deborah’s heart. It here where warning signs are on full display but are unfortunately missed.

Upon her return from Afghanistan, while in the US Army, Deborah, learns, she is pregnant with her first child. At this point, the relationship takes a major turn for the worse.

This story shows how a covert narcissist can take on many disguises and fool many people. But when a narcissist is called out, or is not being obeyed, life can become turbulent and dangerous for the person being targeted.

In this story, we see how Scott handles himself when Deborah is not compliant. We also learn how Deborah manages to keep her mind together when she is put to the test time and time again.

Thank you for listening to our WHEN DATING HURTS podcast,

Bill Mitchell

⁠WhenDatingHurts.com⁠

NOTE:

If you are a survivor and want to share your story of abuse on the WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast, please email me: ⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠

The ⁠⁠⁠⁠WHEN DATING HURTS book⁠⁠⁠⁠ (in paperback, eBook, and audiobook) can be found on Amazon.

HELPFUL RESOURCES:

• National Domestic Violence Hotline – ⁠⁠⁠⁠The Hotline.org ⁠⁠⁠⁠– Call 800-799-SAFE

• ⁠⁠VictimsVoice⁠⁠ – Everything they do empowers people to have happier, healthier lives beyond all forms of abuse.

• ⁠⁠⁠⁠LoveIsRespect⁠⁠⁠⁠ – Call 866-331-9474

• RAINN (Rape Abuse Incest National Network) – ⁠⁠⁠⁠RAINN.org⁠⁠⁠⁠ – Call 800-656-4673

• SUICIDE HELPLINE: Call 988

DISCLAIMER:

The WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast is providing this platform for information to be shared.

We do not state with any certainty that anything is true or untrue. Understand that what you hear is the viewpoint of the people sharing. The information, opinions, and recommendations presented in this Podcast are for general information only. Any reliance on the information provided in this Podcast is done at your own risk. This Podcast should not be considered professional advice.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is a rerelease of a story that was published about one year ago.

This is part one of a two-part story.

Deborah’s narrative takes us to places many of us have never been before. She spent time in the US Navy and then the US Army. We go to Virginia, California, Kentucky, and even Afghanistan before her return to the US.

Before heading into Afghanistan with the US Army, Deborah meets Scott, who does a brilliant portrayal of being everyone’s best buddy while winning over Deborah’s heart. It here where warning signs are on full display but are unfortunately missed.

Upon her return from Afghanistan, while in the US Army, Deborah, learns, she is pregnant with her first child. At this point, the relationship takes a major turn for the worse.

This story shows how a covert narcissist can take on many disguises and fool many people. But when a narcissist is called out, or is not being obeyed, life can become turbulent and dangerous for the person being targeted.

In this story, we see how Scott handles himself when Deborah is not compliant. We also learn how Deborah manages to keep her mind together when she is put to the test time and time again.

Thank you for listening to our WHEN DATING HURTS podcast,

Bill Mitchell

⁠WhenDatingHurts.com⁠

NOTE:

If you are a survivor and want to share your story of abuse on the WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast, please email me: ⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠

The ⁠⁠⁠⁠WHEN DATING HURTS book⁠⁠⁠⁠ (in paperback, eBook, and audiobook) can be found on Amazon.

HELPFUL RESOURCES:

• National Domestic Violence Hotline – ⁠⁠⁠⁠The Hotline.org ⁠⁠⁠⁠– Call 800-799-SAFE

• ⁠⁠VictimsVoice⁠⁠ – Everything they do empowers people to have happier, healthier lives beyond all forms of abuse.

• ⁠⁠⁠⁠LoveIsRespect⁠⁠⁠⁠ – Call 866-331-9474

• RAINN (Rape Abuse Incest National Network) – ⁠⁠⁠⁠RAINN.org⁠⁠⁠⁠ – Call 800-656-4673

• SUICIDE HELPLINE: Call 988

DISCLAIMER:

The WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast is providing this platform for information to be shared.

We do not state with any certainty that anything is true or untrue. Understand that what you hear is the viewpoint of the people sharing. The information, opinions, and recommendations presented in this Podcast are for general information only. Any reliance on the information provided in this Podcast is done at your own risk. This Podcast should not be considered professional advice.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

WARNING: This episode of WHEN DATING HURTS includes a description of an actual suicide. We issue a trigger warning about this. So, take care of yourself first.

We are speaking with Shavaun Scott. You will want to take notes and tell others to listen to her story.

Shavaun is a survivor, a psychotherapist, and an author. Her newly published memoir is entitled Nightbird.

Like many survivors, Shavaun has been through the deepest depths of severe abuse. Today, she has not only ascended, she has taken years of suffering and transformed it into re-creating herself and saving others.

This survivor story is certain to resonate with those who struggle with unhealthy relationships. If your friend or relative is in a relationship that worries you, this narrative will put a bright light on what can happen if steps are not taken.

Please consider reading Nightbird by Shavaun Scott. Click this link and head to Amazon for a copy. Her memoir will resonate with anyone who has struggled with self-doubt, shame, and the quest for self-acceptance. 

Thank you for listening to our WHEN DATING HURTS podcast,

Bill Mitchell

⁠⁠WhenDatingHurts.com⁠⁠

NOTE:

If you are a survivor and want to share your story of abuse on the WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast, please email me: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

The ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠WHEN DATING HURTS book⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ (in paperback, eBook, and audiobook) can be found on Amazon.

HELPFUL RESOURCES:

• National Domestic Violence Hotline – ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Hotline.org ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠– Call 800-799-SAFE

• ⁠⁠⁠VictimsVoice⁠⁠⁠ – Everything they do empowers people to have happier, healthier lives beyond all forms of abuse.

• ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠LoveIsRespect⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ – Call 866-331-9474

• RAINN (Rape Abuse Incest National Network) – ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠RAINN.org⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ – Call 800-656-4673

• SUICIDE HELPLINE: Call 988

DISCLAIMER:

The WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast is providing this platform for information to be shared.

We do not state with any certainty that anything is true or untrue. Understand that what you hear is the viewpoint of the people sharing. The information, opinions, and recommendations presented in this Podcast are for general information only. Any reliance on the information provided in this Podcast is done at your own risk. This Podcast should not be considered professional advice.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast episode marks the 20th anniversary of our daughter's murder at the hands of her abusive ex-boyfriend. She was killed on June 3, 2005.

I speak with you about the loss of Kristin and those advances we have been doing since those dark days in our lives.

Thank you for being a loyal listener to our podcast. Special thanks to our survivors who have offered to join us and tell their stories. And thanks to those who have read and shared the WHEN DATING HURTS book.

We enter year 21 continuing to do tangible work that is helpful to others.

Please remember to subscribe to this podcast, and I urge you to leave your comments on Spotify.

Bill Mitchell

WhenDatingHurts.com⁠⁠

NOTE:

If you are a survivor and want to share your story of abuse on the WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast, please email me: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

The ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠WHEN DATING HURTS book⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ (in paperback, eBook, and audiobook) can be found on Amazon.

HELPFUL RESOURCES:

• National Domestic Violence Hotline – ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Hotline.org ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠– Call 800-799-SAFE

• ⁠⁠⁠VictimsVoice⁠⁠⁠ – Everything they do empowers people to have happier, healthier lives beyond all forms of abuse.

• ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠LoveIsRespect⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ – Call 866-331-9474

• RAINN (Rape Abuse Incest National Network) – ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠RAINN.org⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ – Call 800-656-4673

• SUICIDE HELPLINE: Call 988

DISCLAIMER:

The WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast is providing this platform for information to be shared.

We do not state with any certainty that anything is true or untrue. Understand that what you hear is the viewpoint of the people sharing. The information, opinions, and recommendations presented in this Podcast are for general information only. Any reliance on the information provided in this Podcast is done at your own risk. This Podcast should not be considered professional advice.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices