This is a rerelease of a story that was published about one year ago.

This is part one of a two-part story.

Deborah’s narrative takes us to places many of us have never been before. She spent time in the US Navy and then the US Army. We go to Virginia, California, Kentucky, and even Afghanistan before her return to the US.

Before heading into Afghanistan with the US Army, Deborah meets Scott, who does a brilliant portrayal of being everyone’s best buddy while winning over Deborah’s heart. It here where warning signs are on full display but are unfortunately missed.

Upon her return from Afghanistan, while in the US Army, Deborah, learns, she is pregnant with her first child. At this point, the relationship takes a major turn for the worse.

This story shows how a covert narcissist can take on many disguises and fool many people. But when a narcissist is called out, or is not being obeyed, life can become turbulent and dangerous for the person being targeted.

In this story, we see how Scott handles himself when Deborah is not compliant. We also learn how Deborah manages to keep her mind together when she is put to the test time and time again.

Thank you for listening to our WHEN DATING HURTS podcast,

Bill Mitchell

⁠WhenDatingHurts.com⁠

NOTE:

If you are a survivor and want to share your story of abuse on the WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast, please email me: ⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠

The ⁠⁠⁠⁠WHEN DATING HURTS book⁠⁠⁠⁠ (in paperback, eBook, and audiobook) can be found on Amazon.

HELPFUL RESOURCES:

• National Domestic Violence Hotline – ⁠⁠⁠⁠The Hotline.org ⁠⁠⁠⁠– Call 800-799-SAFE

• ⁠⁠VictimsVoice⁠⁠ – Everything they do empowers people to have happier, healthier lives beyond all forms of abuse.

• ⁠⁠⁠⁠LoveIsRespect⁠⁠⁠⁠ – Call 866-331-9474

• RAINN (Rape Abuse Incest National Network) – ⁠⁠⁠⁠RAINN.org⁠⁠⁠⁠ – Call 800-656-4673

• SUICIDE HELPLINE: Call 988

DISCLAIMER:

The WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast is providing this platform for information to be shared.

We do not state with any certainty that anything is true or untrue. Understand that what you hear is the viewpoint of the people sharing. The information, opinions, and recommendations presented in this Podcast are for general information only. Any reliance on the information provided in this Podcast is done at your own risk. This Podcast should not be considered professional advice.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

WARNING: This episode of WHEN DATING HURTS includes a description of an actual suicide. We issue a trigger warning about this. So, take care of yourself first.

We are speaking with Shavaun Scott. You will want to take notes and tell others to listen to her story.

Shavaun is a survivor, a psychotherapist, and an author. Her newly published memoir is entitled Nightbird.

Like many survivors, Shavaun has been through the deepest depths of severe abuse. Today, she has not only ascended, she has taken years of suffering and transformed it into re-creating herself and saving others.

This survivor story is certain to resonate with those who struggle with unhealthy relationships. If your friend or relative is in a relationship that worries you, this narrative will put a bright light on what can happen if steps are not taken.

Please consider reading Nightbird by Shavaun Scott. Click this link and head to Amazon for a copy. Her memoir will resonate with anyone who has struggled with self-doubt, shame, and the quest for self-acceptance. 

Thank you for listening to our WHEN DATING HURTS podcast,

Bill Mitchell

⁠⁠WhenDatingHurts.com⁠⁠

NOTE:

If you are a survivor and want to share your story of abuse on the WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast, please email me: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

The ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠WHEN DATING HURTS book⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ (in paperback, eBook, and audiobook) can be found on Amazon.

HELPFUL RESOURCES:

• National Domestic Violence Hotline – ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Hotline.org ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠– Call 800-799-SAFE

• ⁠⁠⁠VictimsVoice⁠⁠⁠ – Everything they do empowers people to have happier, healthier lives beyond all forms of abuse.

• ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠LoveIsRespect⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ – Call 866-331-9474

• RAINN (Rape Abuse Incest National Network) – ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠RAINN.org⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ – Call 800-656-4673

• SUICIDE HELPLINE: Call 988

DISCLAIMER:

The WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast is providing this platform for information to be shared.

We do not state with any certainty that anything is true or untrue. Understand that what you hear is the viewpoint of the people sharing. The information, opinions, and recommendations presented in this Podcast are for general information only. Any reliance on the information provided in this Podcast is done at your own risk. This Podcast should not be considered professional advice.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast episode marks the 20th anniversary of our daughter's murder at the hands of her abusive ex-boyfriend. She was killed on June 3, 2005.

I speak with you about the loss of Kristin and those advances we have been doing since those dark days in our lives.

Thank you for being a loyal listener to our podcast. Special thanks to our survivors who have offered to join us and tell their stories. And thanks to those who have read and shared the WHEN DATING HURTS book.

We enter year 21 continuing to do tangible work that is helpful to others.

Please remember to subscribe to this podcast, and I urge you to leave your comments on Spotify.

Bill Mitchell

WhenDatingHurts.com⁠⁠

NOTE:

If you are a survivor and want to share your story of abuse on the WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast, please email me: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

The ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠WHEN DATING HURTS book⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ (in paperback, eBook, and audiobook) can be found on Amazon.

HELPFUL RESOURCES:

• National Domestic Violence Hotline – ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Hotline.org ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠– Call 800-799-SAFE

• ⁠⁠⁠VictimsVoice⁠⁠⁠ – Everything they do empowers people to have happier, healthier lives beyond all forms of abuse.

• ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠LoveIsRespect⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ – Call 866-331-9474

• RAINN (Rape Abuse Incest National Network) – ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠RAINN.org⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ – Call 800-656-4673

• SUICIDE HELPLINE: Call 988

DISCLAIMER:

The WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast is providing this platform for information to be shared.

We do not state with any certainty that anything is true or untrue. Understand that what you hear is the viewpoint of the people sharing. The information, opinions, and recommendations presented in this Podcast are for general information only. Any reliance on the information provided in this Podcast is done at your own risk. This Podcast should not be considered professional advice.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is part two of a two-part story.

We are honored to have Canadian Cait Alexander join us on WHEN DATING HURTS. She will tell us how Canadian court case delays can mean horribly violent predators go free. As if nothing ever happened. This means: no case, no trial, no punishment.

This is due to a Canadian court decision to promote speedy trials. And Cait's story of horrific violence took place in Canada.

Just imagine suffering brutally, but because the justice system is overburdened, monstrous predators have all charges dropped. Charges like assault of children, intimate partner violence, even murder!

Cait's case never saw justice. Nothing at all. But Cait hasn't ended her campaign for reform.

⁠EVE, the End Violence Everywhere organization⁠ is bringing comprehensive support to today's survivors. Do yourself a favor and head to their website for more information.

Thank you for listening to our WHEN DATING HURTS podcast,

Bill Mitchell

⁠⁠⁠WhenDatingHurts.com⁠⁠⁠

NOTE:

If you are a survivor and want to share your story of abuse on the WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast, please email me: ⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠

The ⁠⁠⁠WHEN DATING HURTS book⁠⁠⁠ (in paperback, eBook, and audiobook) can be found on Amazon.

HELPFUL RESOURCES:

• National Domestic Violence Hotline – ⁠⁠⁠The Hotline.org ⁠⁠⁠– Call 800-799-SAFE

• ⁠VictimsVoice⁠ – Everything they do empowers people to have happier, healthier lives beyond all forms of abuse.

• ⁠⁠⁠LoveIsRespect⁠⁠⁠ – Call 866-331-9474

• RAINN (Rape Abuse Incest National Network) – ⁠⁠⁠RAINN.org⁠⁠⁠ – Call 800-656-4673

• SUICIDE HELPLINE: Call 988

DISCLAIMER:

The WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast is providing this platform for information to be shared.

We do not state with any certainty that anything is true or untrue. Understand that what you hear is the viewpoint of the people sharing. The information, opinions, and recommendations presented in this Podcast are for general information only. Any reliance on the information provided in this Podcast is done at your own risk. This Podcast should not be considered professional advice.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is part one of a two-part story.

We are honored to have Canadian Cait Alexander join us on WHEN DATING HURTS. She will tell us how Canadian court case delays can mean horribly violent predators go free. As if nothing ever happened. This means: no case, no trial, no punishment.

This is due to a Canadian court decision to promote speedy trials. And Cait's story of horrific violence took place in Canada.

Just imagine suffering brutally, but because the justice system is overburdened, monstrous predators have all charges dropped. Charges like assault of children, intimate partner violence, even murder!

Cait's case never saw justice. Nothing at all. But Cait hasn't ended her campaign for reform.

EVE, the End Violence Everywhere organization is bringing comprehensive support to today's survivors. Do yourself a favor and head to their website for more information.

Thank you for listening to our WHEN DATING HURTS podcast,

Bill Mitchell

⁠⁠WhenDatingHurts.com⁠⁠

NOTE:

If you are a survivor and want to share your story of abuse on the WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast, please email me: ⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠

The ⁠⁠⁠⁠WHEN DATING HURTS book⁠⁠⁠⁠ (in paperback, eBook, and audiobook) can be found on Amazon.

HELPFUL RESOURCES:

• National Domestic Violence Hotline – ⁠⁠⁠⁠The Hotline.org ⁠⁠⁠⁠– Call 800-799-SAFE

• ⁠⁠VictimsVoice⁠⁠ – Everything they do empowers people to have happier, healthier lives beyond all forms of abuse.

• ⁠⁠⁠⁠LoveIsRespect⁠⁠⁠⁠ – Call 866-331-9474

• RAINN (Rape Abuse Incest National Network) – ⁠⁠⁠⁠RAINN.org⁠⁠⁠⁠ – Call 800-656-4673

• SUICIDE HELPLINE: Call 988

DISCLAIMER:

The WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast is providing this platform for information to be shared.

We do not state with any certainty that anything is true or untrue. Understand that what you hear is the viewpoint of the people sharing. The information, opinions, and recommendations presented in this Podcast are for general information only. Any reliance on the information provided in this Podcast is done at your own risk. This Podcast should not be considered professional advice.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is part two of a two-part story.

This story comes with warnings about all kinds of drug abuse, alcohol, abuse, plus many situations describing emotional and physical violence. These can be triggering to some. Your number one job is to protect yourself.

We are not attempting to be shocking, we are sharing these stories so you can know how bad Domestic Violence can get.

Simone lives in Australia. She gets top grades for hanging onto a man no matter what she faced with him. "Ben" gave her every reason to call it quits, to drop him, and move far away. But she was determined to save him, no matter what.

She was completely devoted to fixing Ben and saving their marriage, but like every "fixer" thus far on this WHEN DATING HURTS podcast, she got more than she ever imagined. None of it good.

Simone managed excellence in every facet of her life, but fixing Ben was beyond her vast capabilities. I don't know many partners who would have given a man this troubled this much grace.

ADVICE: If a relationship doesn't feel right from the start, get out early. If you don't know how to get out, ask a domestic violence counselor. The ripple effects of a dangerous relationship can interrupt every facet of your entire life.

Bill Mitchell

NOTE:

If you are a survivor and want to share your story of abuse on the WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast, please email me: ⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠

The ⁠⁠⁠⁠WHEN DATING HURTS book⁠⁠⁠⁠ (in paperback, eBook, and audiobook) can be found on Amazon.

HELPFUL RESOURCES:

• National Domestic Violence Hotline – ⁠⁠⁠⁠The Hotline.org ⁠⁠⁠⁠– Call 800-799-SAFE

• ⁠⁠VictimsVoice⁠⁠ – Everything they do empowers people to have happier, healthier lives beyond all forms of abuse.

• ⁠⁠⁠⁠LoveIsRespect⁠⁠⁠⁠ – Call 866-331-9474

• RAINN (Rape Abuse Incest National Network) – ⁠⁠⁠⁠RAINN.org⁠⁠⁠⁠ – Call 800-656-4673

• SUICIDE HELPLINE: Call 988

DISCLAIMER:

The WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast is providing this platform for information to be shared.

We do not state with any certainty that anything is true or untrue. Understand that what you hear is the viewpoint of the people sharing. The information, opinions, and recommendations presented in this Podcast are for general information only. Any reliance on the information provided in this Podcast is done at your own risk. This Podcast should not be considered professional advice.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is part one of a two-part story.

This story comes with warnings about all kinds of drug abuse, alcohol, abuse, plus many situations describing emotional and physical violence. These can be triggering to some. Your number one job is to protect yourself.

We are not attempting to be shocking, we are sharing these stories so you can know how bad Domestic Violence can get.

Simone lives in Australia. She gets top grades for hanging onto a man no matter what she faced with him. "Ben" gave her every reason to call it quits, to drop him, and move far away. But she was determined to save him, no matter what.

She was completely devoted to fixing Ben and saving their marriage, but like every "fixer" thus far on this WHEN DATING HURTS podcast, she got more than she ever imagined. None of it good.

Simone managed excellence in every facet of her life, but fixing Ben was beyond her vast capabilities. I don't know many partners who would have given a man this troubled this much grace.

ADVICE: If a relationship doesn't feel right from the start, get out early. If you don't know how to get out, ask a domestic violence counselor. The ripple effects of a dangerous relationship can interrupt every facet of your entire life.

Bill Mitchell

NOTE:

If you are a survivor and want to share your story of abuse on the WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast, please email me: ⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠

The ⁠⁠⁠⁠WHEN DATING HURTS book⁠⁠⁠⁠ (in paperback, eBook, and audiobook) can be found on Amazon.

HELPFUL RESOURCES:

• National Domestic Violence Hotline – ⁠⁠⁠⁠The Hotline.org ⁠⁠⁠⁠– Call 800-799-SAFE

• ⁠⁠VictimsVoice⁠⁠ – Everything they do empowers people to have happier, healthier lives beyond all forms of abuse.

• ⁠⁠⁠⁠LoveIsRespect⁠⁠⁠⁠ – Call 866-331-9474

• RAINN (Rape Abuse Incest National Network) – ⁠⁠⁠⁠RAINN.org⁠⁠⁠⁠ – Call 800-656-4673

• SUICIDE HELPLINE: Call 988

DISCLAIMER:

The WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast is providing this platform for information to be shared.

We do not state with any certainty that anything is true or untrue. Understand that what you hear is the viewpoint of the people sharing. The information, opinions, and recommendations presented in this Podcast are for general information only. Any reliance on the information provided in this Podcast is done at your own risk. This Podcast should not be considered professional advice.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We spend most of our time on the WHEN DATIGN HURTS podcast discussing ways to detect when a person might actually be an abusive predator.

That's why survivors join us and why we discuss the warning signs. But we are not solving the problem, we are suggesting ways to not become destroyed by the problem: predatory abusers

A transformation of the way people interact could make life better and safer. It could make life fair and equal.

We are honored to include two members of the organization called, Gender Equity and Reconciliation International. In the discussion, they refer to their organization as GERI.

Reverend Laurie Gaum and Tristan Johannes are facilitators of discussions with GERI. Reverend Gaum is also a minister with the Dutch Reformed Church. Both men are from Cape Town, South Africa.

Listen closely, because their accents are rather heavy, but what they will tell us is quite easily understood.

The GERI project brings people together from around the world to discuss and heal from trauma and other experiences related to gender and sexuality. GERI convene groups of men and women (and people of all gender identities and expressions) to work closely together. Their goal: heal from the past and begin rewriting the future of gender relation in the human family.

Learn more about GERI at genderreconciliationinternational.org.

There you can find more about them and see how to get their new book.

NOTE:

If you are a survivor and want to share your story of abuse on the WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast, please email me: [email protected]

The WHEN DATING HURTS book (in paperback, eBook, and audiobook) can be found on Amazon.

HELPFUL RESOURCES:

• National Domestic Violence Hotline – The Hotline.org – Call 800-799-SAFE

• LoveIsRespect – Call 866-331-9474

• RAINN (Rape Abuse Incest National Network) – RAINN.org – Call 800-656-4673

• SUICIDE HELPLINE: Call 988

Thank you for listening to our WHEN DATING HURTS podcast,

Bill Mitchell

WhenDatingHurts.com

DISCLAIMER:

The WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast is providing this platform for information to be shared. We do not state with any certainty that anything is true or untrue. Understand that what you hear is the viewpoint of the people sharing. The information, opinions, and recommendations presented in this Podcast are for general information only. Any reliance on the information provided in this Podcast is done at your own risk. This Podcast should not be considered professional advice.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is part two of a two-part story.

Sometimes we are attracted to the "bad boys", the ones who make things exciting and live on the edge. They don't listen to authority and make their own rules.

Melanie had her eyes on one of the bad boys, John. He was different. He wasn't boring. And the flaws he had she was sure she could fix.

As abusers go, John was never holding back. From the time they started dating–and during the time they were married with two children–John did whatever he wanted, when he wanted. It is one thing to be abused, but quite another when there are children involved.

Melanie shared this story to teach us about the warning signs using real-life, examples. It is up to us to remember this lesson.

This is Melanie's story.

NOTE:

If you are a survivor and want to share your story of abuse on the WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast, please email me: [email protected]

The WHEN DATING HURTS book (in paperback, eBook, and audiobook) can be found on Amazon.

HELPFUL RESOURCES:

• National Domestic Violence Hotline – The Hotline.org – Call 800-799-SAFE

• LoveIsRespect – Call 866-331-9474

• RAINN (Rape Abuse Incest National Network) – RAINN.org – Call 800-656-4673

• SUICIDE HELPLINE: Call 988

Thank you for listening to our WHEN DATING HURTS podcast,

Bill Mitchell

WhenDatingHurts.com

DISCLAIMER:

The WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast is providing this platform for information to be shared. We do not state with any certainty that anything is true or untrue. Understand that what you hear is the viewpoint of the people sharing. The information, opinions, and recommendations presented in this Podcast are for general information only. Any reliance on the information provided in this Podcast is done at your own risk. This Podcast should not be considered professional advice.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is part one of a two-part story.

Sometimes we are attracted to the "bad boys", the ones who make things exciting and live on the edge. They don't listen to authority and make their own rules.

Melanie had her eyes on one of the bad boys, John. He was different. He wasn't boring. And the flaws he had she was sure she could fix.

As abusers go, John was never holding back. From the time they started dating–and during the time they were married with two children–John did whatever he wanted, when he wanted. It is one thing to be abused, but quite another when there are children involved.

Melanie shared this story to teach us about the warning signs using real-life, examples. It is up to us to remember this lesson.

This is Melanie's story.

NOTE:

If you are a survivor and want to share your story of abuse on the WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast, please email me: [email protected]

The WHEN DATING HURTS book (in paperback, eBook, and audiobook) can be found on Amazon.

HELPFUL RESOURCES:

• National Domestic Violence Hotline – The Hotline.org – Call 800-799-SAFE

• LoveIsRespect – Call 866-331-9474

• RAINN (Rape Abuse Incest National Network) – RAINN.org – Call 800-656-4673

• SUICIDE HELPLINE: Call 988

Thank you for listening to our WHEN DATING HURTS podcast,

Bill Mitchell

WhenDatingHurts.com

DISCLAIMER:

The WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast is providing this platform for information to be shared. We do not state with any certainty that anything is true or untrue. Understand that what you hear is the viewpoint of the people sharing. The information, opinions, and recommendations presented in this Podcast are for general information only. Any reliance on the information provided in this Podcast is done at your own risk. This Podcast should not be considered professional advice.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices