This week on Blended, Kate Ferdinand is joined by Nathalie and Cilla to unpack a dilemma that challenges the unspoken expectations of blended families.

A woman writes in about her relationship with a man who has children from a previous partner. When they first got together, he was happy to keep things separate, no pressure to step into a parenting role, and that suited her perfectly. But now, his family have started making comments, and he’s beginning to change his mind. Suddenly, the idea of becoming a stepmum feels less like a choice and more like an expectation.

The panel really respect her honesty, she laid out her boundaries from the start but they question whether being with someone who has kids means you have to take on the stepparent role eventually. Cilla argues that while you might start off playing the aunty or the cool friend, that approach doesn’t work long-term especially if you live together. The aim, she says, should be to grow.

Not everyone agrees. Kate and Nathalie discuss the emotional pressure women often face to "mother" in blended dynamics, and the fine line between respecting someone’s boundaries and avoiding the impact on the children involved.

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