Why Do I…?

After my conversation with Julius Cowdrey about parental behaviour and generational patterns, something stayed with me long after the microphones were turned off…

What happens when you realise parts of your personality might not actually be yours?
When you start to see how your parents’ wounds quietly shaped the way you love, react, and run from things?

We talk a lot about childhood trauma. But we rarely talk about the quiet fear of becoming our parents.

In this solo reflection, I open up about:

• Growing up with an absent father and the complicated grief that followed

• The pressure of trying to be the “good son” for a parent who sacrificed everything

• The moment at 32 when I looked in the mirror and felt like I had become my dad

• Avoidant attachment and why running can feel like freedom• Discovering my father’s own childhood abandonment and how that changed everything

• Why understanding our parents’ pain can be the first step to breaking generational cycles

If you’ve ever worried you might repeat your parents’ mistakes…If you’ve ever felt trapped between loyalty to your family and the need to become your own person…If you’ve ever questioned whether your patterns are truly yours…

This episode is for you.

💎 This show is part of the ⁠I.A.M Podcasts⁠ roster

We grow up thinking our parents are just… parents.

The safe one.

The distant one.The provider.

The peacemaker.

The one who never talks about feelings.

But then you get older and you realise…their relationship didn’t just shape them.It shaped you.

The way you trust.

The way you attach.

The way you avoid.

The way you love.

In the second episode of Why Do I (Season 2), I’m joined by Julius Cowdrey. Julius opens up about growing up in the shadow of infidelity, emotional distance, and the silent rules many of us inherit from our parents without even realising.

We talk about the ripple effect of:

A father who won’t go deep…

a mother who stays selfless for the “family unit”…

and how that can later show up as avoidance, fear of being relied on, and a constant question of “am I good enough?”

If you’ve ever felt your dad’s absence still living in your adult decisions…

If you’ve ever repeated patterns you swore you wouldn’t…

If you’ve ever wanted connection, but panicked the moment it got real…

This one’s for you.

OH YEAH! Before You Go - Connect With Us On Socials 👇

Pod: https://www.instagram.com/whydoiofficial/?hl=en

Tom: https://www.instagram.com/stroudtom/?hl=en

Julius: https://www.instagram.com/jlcowdrey/?hl=en

💎 This show is part of the ⁠I.A.M Podcasts⁠ Roster

#WhyDoI #Relationships #Healing #FamilyTrauma

After my conversation with Sasha Pallari about breakups that don’t make sense on paper, I found myself sitting with something deeper…

What happens when you’re with someone who is objectively incredible
Kind. Stable. Supportive. And yet something still feels missing?

We talk a lot about red flags. But nobody prepares you for the green flag breakup.

In this solo reflection, I open up about:

• Staying in “almost right” relationships• Cognitive dissonance and emotional self-gaslighting• The sunk cost fallacy in love• My own breakup at 32 that completely shook my identity• Why leaving a good person doesn’t make you the villain

If you’ve ever felt ungrateful for being unhappy…If you’ve ever tried to logic your way into love…If you’ve ever stayed because it looked good on paper…

This episode is for you.

This is about emotional filters.This is about trusting your gut.This is about choosing truth over convenience.

OH YEAH! Before You Go - Connect With Us On Socials 👇

Pod: https://www.instagram.com/whydoiofficial/?hl=enTom: https://www.instagram.com/stroudtom/?hl=enSasha: https://www.instagram.com/sashapallari/?hl=en

💎 This show is part of the ⁠I.A.M Podcasts⁠ roster

#WhyDoI #Relationships #Breakups #SelfGrowth

If someone sees you.Understands you.Holds you.Chooses you.

That’s enough… right?

But what happens when the person who makes you feel the most seen you’ve ever felt… is also battling addiction?

In this clip from Why Do I (Season 2), Sasha Pallari opens up about loving someone who could show up for her… but couldn’t show up for himself.

We talk about:

- Fire and ice love.
- The heartbreak of asking, “Why didn’t he fight for me?”
- Realising you can’t save someone from themselves.
- And the painful truth that sometimes love isn’t enough.

If you’ve ever loved someone through addiction…
If you’ve ever tried to help someone heal…
If you’ve ever had to walk away from someone you still love…

This one’s for you.

🎙️ Watch the full episode with Sasha Pallari on the channel now.

OH YEAH! Before You Go - Connect With Us On Socials 👇

Pod: https://www.instagram.com/whydoiofficial/?hl=enTom: https://www.instagram.com/stroudtom/?hl=enSash: https://www.instagram.com/sashapallari/?hl=en

💎 This show is part of the I.A.M Podcasts Roster

#WhyDoI #Addiction #Relationships #Breakups

We grow up thinking love is supposed to feel a certain way...

Butterflies.

Intensity.

Stability.

Someone choosing you.

But what happens when you’ve had the wedding… The divorce… The once-in-a-lifetime love… And you’re still asking, what do I actually want?

In the first episode of Why Do I (Season 2), I’m joined by Sasha Pallari!!

Sasha opens up about her marriage, her divorce and the complicated truth that sometimes love isn’t enough.

If you’ve ever walked away from something that looked perfect on paper…

If you’ve ever questioned whether you’re asking for too much…

If you’ve ever loved someone deeply but known it wasn’t right…

This one’s for you.

Season 2 starts here!!

OH YEAH! Before You Go - Connect With Us On Socials👇

Pod: https://www.instagram.com/whydoiofficial/?hl=en

Tom: https://www.instagram.com/stroudtom/?hl=en

Sash: https://www.instagram.com/sashapallari/?hl=en

💎 This show is part of the I.A.M Podcasts Roster

#WhyDoI #Relationships #Breakups

‘Why Do I…?’ is a podcast about the patterns we keep falling into in our relationships.

The ones we do not always talk about.
The ones we sometimes do not even notice.

It explores where those behaviours come from, what they might be protecting, and what we could be avoiding when things start to feel uncomfortable.

Each episode is a chance to sit with someone as they unpack the patterns they have recognised in themselves, and the ones they are still figuring out.

There are no neat answers.
No perfect endings.
Just conversations and those quiet moments of recognition where you think, maybe that is me.

🎙️ New long-form episodes every fortnight
🧩 Short reflection episodes in between

If you have ever caught yourself wondering why you show up the way you do in relationships, this is the show for you.

Enjoy Season 2!

#WhyDoI #RelationshipPatterns #SelfAwareness

In our final short-form episode of Season 1, we reflect on a powerful conversation with LaLaLaLetMeExplain about why men blame women.

This episode hit hard - from defensiveness and traditional gender roles to subtle misogyny and emotional growth, we dove into the uncomfortable truths that many men (myself included) are still unlearning.

The reflection episode is a reminder that blame keeps us stuck - but reflection can set us free.

Lastly - I hope you all loved Season 1 as much as we did. Thank you so much for all the support, it truly means the world. Stay tuned, because Season 2 is going to be even bigger!

SOME OF MY FAVOURITE BITS:

📚 My Top 10 Books On Dating & Relationships → ⁠https://www.amazon.co.uk/shop/stroudtom⁠

🔥 My Favourite Supplements:Science-backed supplements for your brain, body & gut → ⁠https://www.yourheights.com/WHYDOMENPOD⁠

Get in Touch: 💬

Instagram: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/stroudtom/?hl=en⁠

Threads: ⁠https://www.threads.net/@stroudtom⁠

TikTok: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@stroudtom⁠

📩 For Podcast Enquiries: [email protected]

#WhyDoMen #ModernDating #Dating #lalalaletmeexplain

In this powerful clip from the full episode with lalalaletmeexplain, we dive into the complex dynamics of sex on the first date.

From male validation and ego to the hidden power plays behind "the chase."

🎧 Catch the full episode now for the unfiltered conversation

SOME OF MY FAVOURITE BITS:

📚 My Top 10 Books On Dating & Relationships → ⁠https://www.amazon.co.uk/shop/stroudtom⁠

🔥 My Favourite Supplements:Science-backed supplements for your brain, body & gut → ⁠https://www.yourheights.com/WHYDOMENPOD⁠

Get in Touch: 💬

Instagram: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/stroudtom/?hl=en⁠

Threads: ⁠https://www.threads.net/@stroudtom⁠

TikTok: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@stroudtom⁠

📩 For Podcast Enquiries: [email protected]

#WhyDoMen #ModernDating #Dating #lalalaletmeexplain

In this episode of Why Do Men, we're joined again by LaLaLaLetMeExplain to talk about why some men blame women for their pain, dating struggles, or dissatisfaction with life.

We discuss how these attitudes show up in modern dating, the impact of misogyny, and how ideas around masculinity and feminism are often misunderstood.

We also look at the role of emotional intelligence in relationships and what needs to change for things to move forward.

As always, enjoy the episode and let us know your thoughts on this topic below :)

Chapter Timestamps

(00:00) - Exploring Men's Blame on Women

(12:50) - Navigating Traditional Gender Roles in Relationships

(20:52) - Unraveling Misogyny in Dating Culture

(29:53) - Rising Right-Wing Misogyny in Relationships

(36:24) - Navigating Gender Dynamics in Relationships

(40:27) - Challenging Gender Dynamics in Relationships

SOME OF MY FAVOURITE BITS:

📚 My Top 10 Books On Dating & Relationships → https://www.amazon.co.uk/shop/stroudtom

🔥 My Favourite Supplements:Science-backed supplements for your brain, body & gut → https://www.yourheights.com/WHYDOMENPOD

Get in Touch: 💬

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/stroudtom/?hl=en

Threads: https://www.threads.net/@stroudtom

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@stroudtom

📩 For Podcast Enquiries: [email protected]

#WhyDoMen #ModernDating #Dating #lalalaletmeexplain

In this solo episode, I reflect on my conversation with Lucy Rout from Haystack Dating and unpack one of the biggest questions in modern dating: why aren't men approaching women anymore?

From fear of rejection to changing gender dynamics and social media pressure, I share personal stories, real stats, and honest advice on how we can all create more meaningful connections - whether you're making the first move or waiting for one.

If you enjoyed this solo episode, a like and subscribe goes a long way - it helps more than you know :)

📚 My Top 10 Books On Dating & Relationships → ⁠https://www.amazon.co.uk/shop/stroudtom⁠

🔥 My Favourite Supplements:Science-backed supplements for your brain, body & gut → ⁠https://www.yourheights.com/WHYDOMENPOD⁠

Get in Touch: 💬

Instagram: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/stroudtom/?hl=en⁠

Threads: ⁠https://www.threads.net/@stroudtom⁠

TikTok: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@stroudtom⁠

📩 For Podcast Enquiries: [email protected]

#WhyDoMen #ModernDating #HaystackDating #DatingApps #Rejection #Ghosting #Masculinity #datingpodcast