Why does your teen or tween keep asking for reassurance—and why doesn’t it actually help in the long run? In this episode of The Parenting Pair Podcast, Dr. Annalise Caron and Dr. Suzanne Allen unpack reassurance seeking as a safety behavior that often signals underlying anxiety.

They explore why offering repeated reassurance may calm kids momentarily but ultimately can reinforce and even increase their worry. Instead, Drs. Caron and Allen focus on how parents can respond in ways that foster independence, resilience, and emotional growth.

Together, Dr. Allen and Dr. Caron explore:

• What reassurance seeking looks like in teens and tweens
• Why reassurance often makes anxiety worse over time
• How parents can distinguish typical questions from anxious patterns
• Practical ways to shift from giving answers to building confidence
• How to set boundaries around reassurance without damaging trust
• Strategies for fostering independence and coping skills in anxious teens

Here are some highlights from this episode:

00:00 – Reassurance Seeking in Teens Often May Signal Anxiety

01:09 – Inside Dr. Caron’s & Dr. Allen’s Anxious Brains: Personal Anecdotes

04:28 – Understanding Safety Behaviors and Their Impact

06:31 – What Reassurance Seeking Sounds Like in Teens and Tweens

07:01 – When Parents Should Pay Attention to Safety Behaviors

07:55 – The Challenge of Being the Person Providing Reassurance

09:46 – Why Reassurance Brings Short-Term Relief but Fuels Long-Term Anxiety

11:08 – How Parents Can Respond to Reassurance Seeking

12:31 – Teaching Teens to Tolerate Uncertainty

14:01 – Naming and Calling Out Anxiety: A Helpful Strategy

15:26 – Focusing on Small Wins to Deal with Anxiety

16:44 – Reassurance: Short-Term Comfort, Long-Term Cost

If you’ve ever worried about whether answering “one more question” is helping—or wondered why your child keeps asking the same things again and again—this episode will give you research-based insights and actionable strategies to respond with empathy while breaking the cycle of reassurance seeking.

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