With You in the Weeds: Where Faith Meets Mental Health

This episode is about answering your questions on the topic of parenting!

The "Becoming a Whole Person" series addressed many aspects of parenting and child development, but these listener questions will go deeper in the weeds on the following topics:

1) Logical Consequences: What are they? How do I implement them? Ideas for teens?

2) Sibling Rivalry: What's normal? How do I manage it? Ideas to minimize it?

3) School Agendas: How should I navigate agendas in my child's school that conflict with my values?

John, Lynn & Shay walk through these questions to offer strategies and perspective on parenting through these challenges.

If you liked this episode, text it to a friend! And please consider rating WYITW on your podcast player and leave the team a review.

You can also follow us on Instagram @withyouintheweeds for more great content and message us with your topic suggestions for future episodes.

Many parents are imprisoned by the pressure to be perfect, and have all the right answers and responses. 

But the reality is that every parent and caregiver makes mistakes and fails their kids. 

John and Austin discuss the 4 biggest mistakes they see from parents:

1) Trying to control your kids

2) Ignoring your kids needs

3) Avoiding vulnerability & ownership

4) Inconsistency & unpredictability

Each of these mistakes brings misunderstanding, frustration and hurt. So what can you do instead? 

Listen in to hear the 4 key responses you can provide in these areas that have the power to bring hope and healing to your relationship.

The main takeaway from this episode is that when you learn that you are flawed and still loved, that is a gift you can give your kids too. So be encouraged by what every parent needs to hear - "good enough parenting" is enough. 

If you find the WYITW podcast helpful, tell your friends, leave the team a podcast review, follow us on Instagram @withyouintheweeds or email us at [email protected] with any topics you’d like discussed on future episodes.

Parenting can feel like walking blindfolded on a greased tightrope over a frightening chasm. Having firm anchoring points along the way can ease your fears and help you know how to take the next step.

Many parents fall off the tightrope by either "under" or "over" disciplining, which can strain relationships or cause future pain.

This "true confessions" episode with Austin, Shay and Lynn will encourage you to keep going on your parenting journey and keep you focused on where you want to go.

Reflecting on your parenting regrets isn't a fun exercise, but as Shay & Lynn confess the ways that they either "under" or "over" disciplined their kids, we hope you learn and grow as a parent.

The team also tackles the topic of spanking, so you won't want to miss this honest conversation.

If you liked this episode, text it to a friend! And please consider rating WYITW on your podcast player and leave the team a review. 

You can also follow us on Instagram @withyouintheweeds for more great content and message us with your topic suggestions for future episodes.

You can ignore, dismiss, punish or try to fix emotions, but the reality is that they aren't going away.

Until you can become emotionally intelligent yourself, it will be difficult for you to give your child the one thing they need from you the most: your heart.

Relationships are built on emotional connection, but without modeling or instruction on how to identify and work with emotions, you may think that avoiding them is your only option.

John & Lynn directly address the question of how to engage with your child's emotions in a way that creates further connection and builds relational trust.

Using John & Julie Gottman's research on Emotion Coaching, John and Lynn offer a primer in how to coach yourself and your kids through the myriad of emotions that you can't avoid in life.

For more information on Emotion Coaching, check out The Gottman Institute: https://www.gottman.com

If you liked this episode, text it to a friend! And please consider rating WYITW on your podcast player and leave the team a review. 

You can also follow us on Instagram @withyouintheweeds for more great content and message us with your topic suggestions for future episodes.

It's easy to think that childhood fears are silly and irrational, but have you considered that there is a fear that drives both children and adults to behave or respond in extreme ways?

Maybe you get angry and react irrationally at an innocent comment. 

Or you notice a child throw themselves to the floor when asked to do a simple task.

Or you have a co-worker sabotage your team project when they don't get the recognition they think they deserve.

Listen as Lynn, Shay and Austin discuss an underlying fear that hides beneath the surface of many problematic behaviors - the fear of abandonment and losing connection.

After listening you’ll get an idea of what feeds this fear, what calms this fear and how you can manage this fear in your own life and as a parent.

If you liked this episode, text it to a friend! And please consider rating WYITW on your podcast player and leave the team a review. 

You can also follow us on Instagram @withyouintheweeds for more great content and message us with your topic suggestions for future episodes.

The 2 core questions that you are asking in every stage of development are:

Am I loved?

Can I be free?

This episode explores the 2nd question: "Can I be free?" 

The heart behind this question is wondering if you can be your own person, be independent, and be your own authority.

When you begin to notice how this question presents itself, you'll have a better understanding of what drives you as an adult, as well as what drives the heart of your child.

Parents are helping children build an internal "freedom" container which creates independence because we were created for autonomy with the ability to make our own meaningful choices.

Yet true freedom happens within limits. Both adults and kids need to understand what those limits are in order to exercise impulse control and delayed gratification which builds wisdom and character.

Join John, Lynn & Shay as they address the importance of answering this core question as you work towards Becoming a Whole Person.

If you liked this episode, text it to a friend! And please consider rating WYITW on your podcast player and leave the team a review. 

You can also follow us on Instagram @withyouintheweeds for more great content and message us with your topic suggestions for future episodes.

Everyone is looking for the answer to these two questions:

Am I loved?

Can I be free?

It may sound simple, but these two core questions are a driving force in every child's psychological and emotional development.

So what does a child need from a parent to know the answer to the question: "Am I loved?" 

John, Shay and Lynn will get specific about how parents can help their child build a strong internal "love container" that will help them move through life with confidence.

They also discuss the implications of not having this question answered, and how that impacts a person even in adulthood.

Stay tuned to this Becoming a Whole Person series, so that you can learn the basic ingredients everyone needs to continue growing in maturity and wisdom.

Books recommendations:

Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters by Meg Meeker, M.D.

Boys Should Be Boys by Meg Meeker, M.D.

If you liked this episode, text it to a friend! And please consider rating WYITW on your podcast player and leave the team a review. 

You can also follow us on Instagram @withyouintheweeds for more great content and message us with your topic suggestions for future episodes.

This episode launches our new series: Becoming a Whole Person. 

You are on a growth journey towards becoming a whole person, no matter how old you are. In fact, you never stop growing!

All children need basic ingredients to grow, and these are actually the same ingredients that you need to keep growing as an adult.

In this episode, John, Lynn and Austin discuss two key ingredients for growth: Love and Limits. As you listen, you will discover:

- What are love and limits

- How the presence (or absence) of love and limits impacts growth for kids and adults

- Practical takeaways for parents to help their child keep growing towards becoming a whole person

So whether you are a parent, ministry leader, young professional, mentor, teacher, or you’re just wanting to know for yourself how to stay on a growth path to becoming a whole person, this series is going to offer you the nuts and bolts of what it takes to develop along the way.

If you liked this episode, text it to a friend! And please consider rating WYITW on your podcast player and leave the team a review. 

You can also follow us on Instagram @withyouintheweeds for more great content and message us with your topic suggestions for future episodes.

One of the most beneficial aspects of counseling is taking the time to reflect on the story of your life.

In this new pop-up series called "Stories in the Weeds", Austin Conner interviews James Bachman as he recalls how he initially believed that grieving was only necessary after a huge loss in life, like the death of his father.

But what James came to understand as he worked through his story, is that both big and small losses need to be grieved, or you will stay stuck.

The WYITW team believes that your unique and complex story holds powerful insights waiting to be explored. 

As you listen to how counseling gave James a new perspective on life and helped him grow as a person, we hope you are inspired to dig deeper into your own story.

Be looking for more "Stories in the Weeds" in the future, so you can be a fly on the wall and listen in to how and why counseling can be an effective tool to substantial transformation.

We enjoy answering questions submitted by our listeners, and these 2 questions have John and Austin jumping in the deep end as they address questions about marriage and pornography. 

1. Marriage: "At the heart of most of our marital conflicts it seems as though my spouse expects me to meet their needs that I cannot meet. How do I handle that?"

2. Pornography: "What advice would you give to someone who is addicted to pornography? This has been a struggle of mine for such a long time. I know why it’s a problem and want to stop, but I can’t seem to get any long term freedom from it.”

John and Austin's answers to these questions may surprise, challenge and encourage you. This episode provides clarity on how to manage seemingly unresolvable conflicts in marriage, as well as some concrete steps to manage pornography use and addiction.

Are you enjoying the WYITW podcast? We'd love it if you would leave us a rating and review on your podcast app. And tell your friends about us!

You can also follow us on Instagram @withyouintheweeds or email us at [email protected] with any topics you’d like discussed on future episodes.