Writing Your Resilience: Building Resilience, Embracing Trauma and Healing Through Writing

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What do you do when the memory you need most for your memoir is the one you can’t quite reach? You listen to this week’s guest, Sue William Silverman. Sue is the award-winning author of nine works of nonfiction and poetry and co-chair of the MFA in Writing program at Vermont College of Fine Arts. She joined me for a deeply honest, craft conversation about what to do when you can’t remember, how to work with fragmented memory, how to use structure, voice, and sensory detail to tell the emotional truth of your story, and how to trust yourself even when certainty is impossible. If you’ve ever felt stalled by memory gaps, afraid of getting it “wrong,” or unsure how to write what you can’t fully recall, this episode will give you both permission and practical tools to keep going. Let’s dive in.

Episode Highlights

• 04:48 Writing Memoir When Memory Feels Unstable
• 05:48 From Bad Fiction to Honest Storytelling
• 07:13 The Five Senses Trick for Unlocking Memories
• 09:38 Emotional Truth vs. Perfect Facts
• 20:29 Writing the Gaps: What You Don’t Fully Remember
• 27:30 What You Cut (and Why It Matters Later)
• 30:55 You Don’t Have to Fit Your Whole Life in One Book
• 33:47 Finding the Voice That Can Tell the Story

Resources for this Episode: 

Books by Sue William Silverman: 

• Selected Misdemeanors: Essays at the Mercy of the Reader
• Because I Remember Terror Father, I Remember You
• Acetylene Torch Songs: Writing True Stories to Ignite the Soul
• Love Sick
• How to Survive Death and Other Inconveniences

Writing Hard Stories: Celebrated Memoirists Who Shaped Art from Trauma by Melanie Brooks

The Part That Burns by Jeannine Ouellette

Playing with Dynamite by Sharon Harrigan

The Queen’s Path by Stacey Simmons

Finding Your Voice and Crafting Stories that Ignite the Soul with Sue William Silverman

Can You Trust Your Memories? with Stacey Simmons

Ditch Your Inner Critic Now 

Sue’s Bio: Sue William Silverman is an award-winning author of nine works of nonfiction and poetry. Her new book, "Selected Misdemeanors: Essays at the Mercy of the Reader," is longlisted for the 2026 PEN/Diamonstein-Spielvogel Award for the Art of the Essay. Sue has appeared on such programs as The View, Anderson Cooper 360, and PBS Books. She’s co-chair of the MFA in Writing program at Vermont College of Fine Arts.

Connect with Sue: 

• Website: https://www.suewilliamsilverman.com/
• Facebook: @SueWilliamSilverman
• Instagram: @suewilliamsilverman

Visit https://lisacooperellison.com/yourdesign/ and use promo code RESILIENCE to get 30% off your foundational report.

Visit https://lisacooperellison.com/yourdesign/ and use promo code RESILIENCE to get 30% off your foundational report.

Building Better Memoir Scenes: https://janefriedman.com/building-better-memoir-scenes-with-lisa-cooper-ellison/

Connect with your host, Lisa:
Get Your Free Copy of Ditch Your Inner Critic: https://lisacooperellison.com/subscribe/
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Listeners, do you ever wonder if your memories are real? Are you writing a memoir and struggling to remember something—or worrying that what you’re sharing might not be “the truth”? Today on Writing Your Resilience, I’m joined by psychotherapist and neuroscience nerd Stacy Simmons for a powerful conversation about memory, trauma, and storytelling. We explore why memory isn’t a recording device, how traumatic memories get fragmented in the brain, what “reconstituted memories” really are, and how writers can work with their memories in ways that heal rather than re-traumatize. Get ready to dive into a conversation that reveals why memory is fragile, not like a flower but like a bomb. 

Episode Highlights: 

• 4:34: The Types of Memories Memoirists Need to Know
• 12:16: Can Your Bodies Be In Your Memories? The Limitations of Science
• 19:48: What to Do with Trauma Memories and How to Keep from Retraumatizing Yourself  
• 27:33: Navigating Your Conscious Memories
• 35:41: Trusting Early Memories

 Resources from This Episode: 

• What If You’re Not Meant to Be the Hero with Stacey Simmons
• The Adverse Childhood Experience Survey Test
• Mushroom Pharmacy: A Practical Guide to Psychedelic Mushrooms by Stacey Simmons
• What Happened to You by Oprah Winfrey and Dr. Bruce Perry
• Hysterical Podcast
• McMartin Preschool Case
• The Debate on Repressed Memories 
• Identify Your Memoir’s Essential Question
• Ditch Your Inner Critic Now

Stacey’s Bio: Stacey Simmons is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and Certified Psychedelic Therapist. She is a clinical supervisor at Hope Therapy Center in Burbank, California. Her practice focuses on creative professionals, where she works primarily with writers, directors, actors, and musicians. Her research focuses on creativity, archetypes, psychedelic psychotherapy, neuroscience, and consciousness research. She is a volunteer researcher with the Semel Institute of Neuroscience at UCLA, as well as a researcher with the Trance Science Research Institute in Paris, France. She holds a PhD from the University of New Orleans, and a Masters degree from Pacifica Graduate Institute in Santa Barbara, California.

Connect with Stacey:

Website: https://staceysimmonsphd.com

Facebook: @staceysimmonsphd

Instagram: @staceysimmonsphd

TikTok: @staceysimmonsphd

Visit https://lisacooperellison.com/yourdesign/ and use promo code RESILIENCE to get 30% off your foundational report.

Visit https://lisacooperellison.com/yourdesign/ and use promo code RESILIENCE to get 30% off your foundational report.

Building Better Memoir Scenes: https://janefriedman.com/building-better-memoir-scenes-with-lisa-cooper-ellison/

Connect with your host, Lisa:
Get Your Free Copy of Ditch Your Inner Critic: https://lisacooperellison.com/subscribe/
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 Writers, are you writing about trauma and wondering how detailed to get or how to connect the dots when your story feels scattered? The solution might be a memoir in essays that allows you to write about powerful discreet moments that are loosely connected by associations. 

If that's you, you are in for a treat because this week on the Writing and Resilience Podcast, I'm joined by Melissa Fraterrigo, author of the Perils of Girlhood, named one of literary hub's, 100 notable small press books of 2025.

During our conversation, we explore the differences between memoir and memoir and essays, how to use memory as a portal to story, and how learning to trust your reader can help you decide what to share and what to leave out. Let's dive in.  

Episode Highlights

• 6:24: The Drivers of Self-Esteem We’re Not Discussing  
• 9:53: Understanding Memoirs in Essay versus Traditional Memoirs
• 17:00: How to Use Memory as a Portal to Story
• 22:15: The Secret to Treating All Characters Well
• 24:40: Tips for Navigating Traumatic Material in Your Essay
• 34:35: The One Unexpected Gift Writing Gives You

Resources for this Episode: 

• Identify Your Memoir’s Essential Question
• Ditch Your Inner Critic Now 

Melissa’s Bio: Melissa Fraterrigo’s memoir, The Perils of Girlhood was published by the University of Nebraska Press in Fall 2025, and named by Literary Hub as one of “100 Notable Small Press Books of 2025.” She is also the author of the novel Glory Days (University of Nebraska Press), and the story collection The Longest Pregnancy (Livingston Press). She teaches creative writing at Purdue University and is the founder of the Lafayette Writers’ Studio in Lafayette, Indiana. Please visit melissafraterrigo.com and lafayettewritersstudio.com.

Connect with Melissa: 

• Website: melissafraterrigo.com
• @melissafraterrigo
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/melissa.fraterrigo
• Substack: https://substack.com/@melissafraterrigo
• Lafayette Writers Studio: lafayettewritersstudio.com

Visit https://lisacooperellison.com/yourdesign/ and use promo code RESILIENCE to get 30% off your foundational report.

Visit https://lisacooperellison.com/yourdesign/ and use promo code RESILIENCE to get 30% off your foundational report.

Building Better Memoir Scenes: https://janefriedman.com/building-better-memoir-scenes-with-lisa-cooper-ellison/

Connect with your host, Lisa:
Get Your Free Copy of Ditch Your Inner Critic: https://lisacooperellison.com/subscribe/
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This week, I’m joined by Wendy Dale, the author of The Memoir Engineering System, for a conversation that will change the way you think about structure, scenes, and what actually makes a memoir work. We talk about why “this happened, then this happened” isn’t a story, how connected events create momentum, and why your job as a memoirist isn’t just to show—but to transport your reader. If you’ve ever felt stuck in the messy middle, overwhelmed by pages, or unsure how to shape your lived experience into a compelling narrative, this episode is for you.

Episode Highlights

• 03:04 Wendy's Background
• 05:50 The "This Happened Then This Happened Problem
• 09:37 What Makes a Good Memoir
• 12:07 The Secret to Becoming a Great Writer
• 16:26 The Most Important Elements a Writer Must Consider
• 26:03 What Readers Really Want 
• 33:15 The Real Work Scenes Must Do

Resources for this Episode: 

• Story Cure: A Book Doctor's Pain-Free Guide to Finishing Your Novel or Memoir by Dinty Moore
• Survival Math: Notes on an All-American Family by Mitchell Jackson
• What My Bones Know by Stephanie Foo
• Identify Your Memoir’s Essential Question
• Ditch Your Inner Critic Now 

Wendy’s Bio: Wendy Dale is the founder of Memoir Writing for Geniuses. She offers coaching and classes for newbies and professionals to write their memoirs using principles instead of a process of trial and error. Her memoir Avoiding Prison and Other Noble Vacation Goals was published by Three Rivers Press, a division of Penguin Random House. She is also the author of the book The Memoir Engineering System, the result of 15 years of research, which details a six-step process that allows writers to craft their memoirs from the ground up with no structural errors. Her motto is “Make your first draft your final draft.”

Connect with Wendy:

Website: www.geniusmemoirwriting.com

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@memoirwritingforgeniuses

Sign up for Revise Your Memoir series: https://bit.ly/4ooLTDi

Visit https://lisacooperellison.com/yourdesign/ and use promo code RESILIENCE to get 30% off your foundational report.

Visit https://lisacooperellison.com/yourdesign/ and use promo code RESILIENCE to get 30% off your foundational report.

Building Better Memoir Scenes: https://janefriedman.com/building-better-memoir-scenes-with-lisa-cooper-ellison/

Connect with your host, Lisa:
Get Your Free Copy of Ditch Your Inner Critic: https://lisacooperellison.com/subscribe/
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As we step into 2026, many writers feel ready to begin—yet remain stalled or exhausted from the year before. In this episode, I show you how to reclaim momentum through creative alignment and the one thing you must do to harness your success. We explore the three essential things every writer must do: shed limiting beliefs, build supportive habits, and set boundaries that honor who you’re becoming—so you can step into the year with clarity, sovereignty, and authentic momentum.

Episode Highlights

• 1:53: Why Your Momentum is Flagging or Lagging
• 6:09: Shedding Unhelpful Beliefs
• 12:33: Modifying Your Habits
• 16:34: Evaluating Your Relationships
• 28:10: The Most Important Practice to Cultivate in 2026

Resources for this Episode: 

• What’s Up with the Year of the Fire Horse
• Welcome to the Year of Fire Horse 2026: Exploring Chinese Zodiac Horse's Cultural Meanings & Traditions
• What Are You Ready to Shed
• Identify Your Memoir’s Essential Question
• Ditch Your Inner Critic Now 

Lisa’s Bio: Lisa Cooper Ellison is an author, speaker, trauma-informed writing coach, and host of the Writing Your Resilience podcast. Working at the powerful intersection of storytelling and healing, she blends her writing expertise, clinical training, and soul-centered practices—including Akashic Records work and Human Design—to help writers turn their hardest experiences into art. Her essays—on sibling loss, grief, trauma healing, and the craft of writing—have appeared in The New York Times, HuffPost, and The Loss of a Lifetime: Grieving Siblings Share Stories of Love, Loss, and Hope, among others.

Sign up for Revise Your Memoir series:  https://bit.ly/4ooLTDi

Get a taste of the series by signing up for Identify Your Memoir’s Essential Question

Visit https://lisacooperellison.com/yourdesign/ and use promo code RESILIENCE to get 30% off your foundational report.

Visit https://lisacooperellison.com/yourdesign/ and use promo code RESILIENCE to get 30% off your foundational report.

Building Better Memoir Scenes: https://janefriedman.com/building-better-memoir-scenes-with-lisa-cooper-ellison/

Connect with your host, Lisa:
Get Your Free Copy of Ditch Your Inner Critic: https://lisacooperellison.com/subscribe/
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In this encore conversation, author and teacher Melanie Brooks and I explore the lifelong impact of silence—within our families, our communities, and our writing lives. Drawing from her memoir, A Hard Silence, Melanie shares how unspoken truths shaped her understanding of grief, identity, and faith, and what it took to finally claim her voice on the page. Together, we discuss how silence keeps writers stuck, the power of finishing the stories that haunt us, and how narrative medicine helped her weave two complex narratives into one.

Episode Highlights

• 2:55: The pain of living with secrets
• 5:54: Navigating anticipatory grief
• 15:45: The transformative power of finishing your story
• 20:00 The magic of timing and the stories we tell ourselves
• 26:00 The influence of narrative medicine on Melanie’s story
• 30:00 Marrying two stories into one
• 37:00 Melanie’s best writing advice

Resources for this Episode: 

• My Family Kept My Dad's Secret For Years. I Wasn't Prepared For What Telling The Truth Would Mean.
• Interrogating the Cost of Silence and Finding My Voice
• Ditch Your Inner Critic Now 

Melanie’s Bio: Melanie Brooks is the author of A Hard Silence: One Daughter Remaps Family, Grief, and Faith When HIV/AIDS Changes It All (Vine Leaves Press, September 2023) and Writing Hard Stories: Celebrated Memoirists Who Shaped Art from Trauma (Beacon Press, 2017). She teaches professional writing at Northeastern University and creative nonfiction in the MFA program at Bay Path University in Massachusetts. She holds an MFA in Creative Nonfiction from the University of Southern Maine’s Stonecoast writing program. She recently completed a Certificate of Narrative Medicine at Columbia University. Her work has appeared in Psychology Today, the HuffPost, Yankee Magazine, the Washington Post, Ms. Magazine, Creative Nonfiction, and other notable publications. She lives in New Hampshire with her husband, two children (when they are home from college), and two Labs.

Connect with Melanie:

Website: melaniebrooks.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/melanie.brooks.1690

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/melaniejmbrookswriter

X: https://twitter.com/MelanieJMBrooks

LinkedIn: http://linkedin.com/in/melanie-brooks-504826121

Book: https://bookshop.org/p/books/a-hard-silence-one-daughter-remaps-family-grief-and-faith-when-hiv-aids-changes-it-all-melanie-brooks/20151761?ean=9783988320209

Visit https://lisacooperellison.com/yourdesign/ and use promo code RESILIENCE to get 30% off your foundational report.

Visit https://lisacooperellison.com/yourdesign/ and use promo code RESILIENCE to get 30% off your foundational report.

Building Better Memoir Scenes: https://janefriedman.com/building-better-memoir-scenes-with-lisa-cooper-ellison/

Connect with your host, Lisa:
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Join me and Pushcart Nominee, TedX Speaker, and multi-passionate creative, Acamea Deadwiler for this encore episode where we talk about normalized violence, how our attachment styles can influence the way we approach our memoirs, and the importance of connecting with your inner compass. During our conversation, you’ll also learn what transcendental meditation is and how Acamea used her TM practice while writing her memoir, Daddy’s Little Stranger.

Acamea’s bio: Acamea Deadwiler is a Pushcart Prize nominated memoirist and essayist who received praise from Publishers Weekly and authored the memoir, Daddy’s Little Stranger. Her work has appeared in Bellevue Literary Review, North American Review, and Beyond Words Literary Magazine, among other publications. Acamea’s media features include the New York Post, Cosmopolitan, Bustle, and the FOX television network. She is also a TEDx speaker. Currently residing in Nevada, Acamea is an Indiana native. She is a fellow in the MFA program at Randolph College.

Resources Mentioned During This Episode:

• How Different Attachment Styles Affect Relationships
• What is Transcendental Meditation
• Ditch Your Inner Critic Now
• Sign Up for Revise Your Memoir 

Episode Highlights

• 1:00 The Stories We Carry
• 7:00 Dealing with Normalized Violence
• 11:29 Choosing the Right Moments When Trauma Is High
• 15:30 Writing About Abandonment
• 18:00 Attachment Styles and Storytelling
• 24:12: Essay Collections vs Memoir
• 28:00 Writing About Bad Behavior
• 35:19 Transcendental Meditation and Writing
• 41:50 Connecting With Your Inner Compass
• 43:00 Acamea’s Best Writing Advice

Connect with Acamea: 

• Instagram - @acamea
• Twitter - @acameald
• Website - acameadeadwiler.com
• Book - Daddyslittlestranger.com

Visit https://lisacooperellison.com/yourdesign/ and use promo code RESILIENCE to get 30% off your foundational report.

Visit https://lisacooperellison.com/yourdesign/ and use promo code RESILIENCE to get 30% off your foundational report.

Building Better Memoir Scenes: https://janefriedman.com/building-better-memoir-scenes-with-lisa-cooper-ellison/

Connect with your host, Lisa:
Get Your Free Copy of Ditch Your Inner Critic: https://lisacooperellison.com/subscribe/
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Join me and Andrea Firth for this encore episode of the writing your resilience podcast where we explore what personal essays are, how writers can uncover their essay’s aboutness, and how to develop resilient editing practices. As an added bonus, learn the inside scoop on how to get published on the Brevity Blog. 

Episode Highlights

• 4:00 The Difference Between Memoir and Personal Essay
• 7:00 Exploring the Inciting Incident for Your Essays
• 14:00 Common Struggles Essayists Have: Aboutness
• 21:00 The Power of the Braided Essay
• 25:00 Resilient Editing and Workshopping
• 34:00 Submitting to the Brevity Blog

Resources Mentioned During This Episode: 

• The Beauty of a Busted Fruit by Natalie Diaz
• Secret Words by Andrea Firth
• Broken Glass by Andrea Firth
• Old John by Andrea Firth
• Brevity Blog Submission Guidelines
• Snot-Bubble-Cry Dance Parties that Boost Your Creativity by Lisa Cooper Ellison
• Looking at an Eclipse: A Braided Essay About Braided Essays by Lilly Dancyger
• Ditch Your Inner Critic Now 

Andrea’s Bio: Andrea A. Firth is a writer, editor and educator living in the San Francisco Bay Area. She is an Editor at Brevity Blog and cofounder of Diablo Writers’ Workshop where she teaches creative writing and provides developmental editing. Andrea has an MFA in Creative Nonfiction from Saint Mary’s College of California. She was a finalist for The Missouri Review's 2021 Perkoff Prize in nonfiction, and her work has appeared in Dorothy Parker’s Ashes, Allium, The Coachella Review among others. Learn more about her and read her recent work at www.andreaafirth.com.

Connect with Andrea: 

Website: https://www.andreaafirth.com/

Substack: Everything Essay! with Andrea Firth

Instagram: @andreaafwriter

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/andrea.firth.58

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/andreafirth/

Visit https://lisacooperellison.com/yourdesign/ and use promo code RESILIENCE to get 30% off your foundational report.

Visit https://lisacooperellison.com/yourdesign/ and use promo code RESILIENCE to get 30% off your foundational report.

Building Better Memoir Scenes: https://janefriedman.com/building-better-memoir-scenes-with-lisa-cooper-ellison/

Connect with your host, Lisa:
Get Your Free Copy of Ditch Your Inner Critic: https://lisacooperellison.com/subscribe/
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Join me and Hannah Sward, author of Strip: A Memoir, for an encore episode where we go behind the scenes of her writing process—how she wrote her first draft by hand, in one long, unfiltered sentence; how she found the courage to put her full truth on the page; and how she distilled years of experience into a memoir that moves with incredible precision and power. You’ll also learn transcription tricks, sex scene-writing tips, the unexpected doors publishing your book can open, and some somatic techniques for navigating your vulnerability.

Episode Highlights

• 4:46 Hannah’s memoir writing process
• 10:16 Transcription tips
• 17:47 Somatic strategies for writing vulnerable scenes, including sex scenes
• 23:35: Placing insights into your book
• 24:37 Tricks for writing concisely 
• 28:57 The post-publication life of your book 
• 34:39 Writing what’s next 

Resources for this Episode: 

• “My life after meth: Learning to open and close the curtains” by Hannah Sward
• “The Sharp Edge of A Shell” by Hannah Sward
• “Making Even The Smallest Mistake Filled Me With Terror. Then 2 Little Words Changed My Life.” by Lisa Cooper Ellison
• Ditch Your Inner Critic Now 

Hannah’s Bio: Hannah Sward, daughter of the late poet Robert Sward, is the IPPY Gold winning author of Strip: A Memoir. For the past 25 years, Sward’s work has been widely published in literary journals in the US, Canada, and the UK. Her most recent work can be read in the LA Times, HuffPost, The NY Times (Tiny Love Stories) and The Rumpus (Voices on Addiction). Sward is on the board at Right to Write Press, a nonprofit that supports emerging incarcerated writers. She believes strongly in good literary citizenship and is actively involved in the literary community. She lives in Los Angeles where she is working on her next book. Learn more at hannahsward.com

Connect with Hannah: 

• Website: hannahsward.com
• IG: @hannahswardauthor
• Threads: @hannahswardauthor
• BlueSky: summerjar.bsky.social

Visit https://lisacooperellison.com/yourdesign/ and use promo code RESILIENCE to get 30% off your foundational report.

Visit https://lisacooperellison.com/yourdesign/ and use promo code RESILIENCE to get 30% off your foundational report.

Building Better Memoir Scenes: https://janefriedman.com/building-better-memoir-scenes-with-lisa-cooper-ellison/

Connect with your host, Lisa:
Get Your Free Copy of Ditch Your Inner Critic: https://lisacooperellison.com/subscribe/
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What happens when you commit to showing up—again and again—for your writing life? In this special bonus recording in celebration of my 100th episode,, I reflect on ten years of creative work and the ten lessons I learned about growth, resilience, rest, and trusting your own process. If you’re questioning your path, feeling stuck, or wondering whether your effort matters, this episode will remind you why it does.

Episode Highlights

• 2:48: The Most Important Thing to Know
• 6:04: Failing Up versus Floundering
• 9:03: The Counterintuitive Nature of Progress

Resources for this Episode: 

• Quantity Leads to Quality
• Gratitude Leads to Greatness
• Ditch Your Inner Critic
• Revise Your Memoir

Lisa’s Bio: Lisa Cooper Ellison is an author, speaker, trauma-informed writing coach, and host of the Writing Your Resilience podcast. Working at the powerful intersection of storytelling and healing, she blends her writing expertise, clinical training, and soul-centered practices—including Akashic Records work and Human Design—to help writers turn their hardest experiences into art. Her essays—on sibling loss, grief, trauma healing, and the craft of writing—have appeared in The New York Times, HuffPost, and The Loss of a Lifetime: Grieving Siblings Share Stories of Love, Loss, and Hope, among others.

Visit https://lisacooperellison.com/yourdesign/ and use promo code RESILIENCE to get 30% off your foundational report.

Building Better Memoir Scenes: https://janefriedman.com/building-better-memoir-scenes-with-lisa-cooper-ellison/

Connect with your host, Lisa:
Get Your Free Copy of Ditch Your Inner Critic: https://lisacooperellison.com/subscribe/
Website | Instagram | YouTube | Facebook | LinkedIn

Produced by Espresso Podcast Production