You AF

In todays episode I shared my personal experience in noticing the difference between regualr old therapy and coaching(which aren't bad) and trauma informed therapy and coaching(which work better for me). I now incorperate the trauma informed lens in everything I do. Espeically when it comes to settng boundaries. Over the next few episodes I will be sharing different approaches to setting boundaries based on who we are and the different stories we tell ourselves about why we can't set boundaries or tend to set too many. Today's focus is on those of us who's protective trauma responses are fight or flight. This usually leads to us being called b*tches. Because we are fighters or apear to not care. In reality we have just been let down so much that we feel we can only depend on ourselves to protect our little baby tender hearts. Now don't get me wrong here there is nothing wrong with being a B. I am all about reclaiming that shit. But often what happens is when we do want to get close to someone it get's in the way of the connection we deeply want whether we like to admit or not. So before you punch me in the face, listen to episode and hear me out.

 

Limited Offer: Book a 45 minute session for $60: https://calendly.com/katerinabarron/45-min-session

Not ready for coaching? Download your free boundaries workbook: https://bit.ly/Boundariesthatstick

I have a love hate relationship with the word resilience. It used to mean pushing through no matter what. But when I did that it did more harm than good and I felt less capable. Building true resilience comes from learning how to identify where the edge of our comfort zone is or in the trauma informed world we call it the window of tolerance. Understanding what the window of tolerance is, and how to use this information to heal and build true resilience has led to massive transformation in my own life. So naturally I want to share it with you. In this episode I share some real life examples of climbing out of a hole I was in and how different it felt compared to how I dealt in the past. Understanding true resilience was crucial. Hope you Enjoy.

 

Window of tolerance graphic: https://bit.ly/Windowoftolerancegraphic

Limited Offer: Book a 45 minute session for $60: https://calendly.com/katerinabarron/45-min-session

Not ready for coaching? Download your free boundaries workbook: https://bit.ly/Boundariesthatstick

As an over sharer I know the struggle. This episode is all about why we overshare, the do's and don'ts of oversharing, emotional dumping, and trauma dumping and how to set self boundaries and boundaries with others to help improve your relationships and protect your energy.

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Download your FREE boundary Setting Workbook

https://bit.ly/Boundariesthatstick

Book your boundary setting intensive. https://bit.ly/BoundariesIntensive

This episode is for anyone who struggles with living up to impossible standards because they struggle with chronic illness, neaurodiversity, mental health issues and past traumas.

That's it thats the description.

Want some support from yours truly? reach out to me on instagram and let's see if it's a good fit. https://www.instagram.com/katerinabarron/

Love you. That is all.

When we grow up in an environment where our emotional needs aren't met by our caregivers, we often learn that their emotions and needs are more important than ours. This programs us to people please and live in a way that serves them. So how do we start to relive ourselves of this burden? It's fucking hard man. Especially if your emotions have also been gaslit. I have found that learning to check in with ourselves and check our reality is key to letting go of guilt and feeling overly responsible for others. Listen on to hear a real life story of how I recently had to check myself in order to stand my ground on setting a boundary and how you can learn to do this too.

If you need more support around boundary setting The Boundary Setting intensive is where it's at. On this 90 minute call we will map our your personal boundary setting plan then follow up with 5 days of additional support through voxer or whatsapp so you can do the thing with me in your corner.

Book Today

https://bit.ly/BoundariesIntensive

What is toxic spirituality? I say it's the misinterpretation of spirit and purpose in a way that makes people think they have the authority to  others what they should or shouldn't do in order to be spiritual or aligned.  If you have ever heard that the way you think or act is the cause of something bad happening or if you have ever felt like if you just could be more positive life would be better, that is internalized toxic spirituality. And this shit is everywhere. From the book The Secret to people believing the reason your not making more money is because you are manifesting wrong. (FYI There is no wrong way to manifest. It's about learning to love yourself in order to receive. Which happens when you heal your trauma BTW. Trauma healing is manifestation.)  In this episode I share my own experience with toxic spirituality and what I now believe to be true about the human experience and true spirituality. If you find the episode triggering I hear you. I want to tell you there is no wrong way to believe in spirit or whatever you call it. And my DMs are open if you want to chat more.

If you have been curious about working with me 1 on 1, fill out an application here and I'll be in touch: https://bit.ly/youafapplication

This is not to see if you qualify but to see which coaching options is the best fit for you.

3 Spots open in April.

Do you do that thing where you judge how you responded or handled things in the past? Self reflection and awareness can be powerful tools for healing and change and often times we use them as weapons against ourselves. I'm here to tell you that you can't know what you don't know and why applying that perspective can help free yourself of guilt and shame around the past. In this episode I will break down why we are mean to ourselves and how to make the shift to being gentle in order to move forward toward healing. Even if you walk away from this episode thinking this doesn't apply to you because of xyz reason and continue to beat yourself up because of mistakes you've made, I will still be holding the belief for you that not everything was your fault and hope in time you will free yourself of that heaviness. Also I'm trying something new. As I lean into boundaries a huge part of healing I will now share 1-2 boundary setting suggetions to create protection and support specific to the topic of the episode.

If you are wondering about working with me 1-1 Fill out an application here.

https://bit.ly/youafapplication

This is not to see if you qualify but for which coaching option would be the best fit.

I have 3 slots open for April.

Stages of Learning reference. https://leadershipmanagement.com.au/understanding-4-stages-learning/

In this episode I share journal exercise for revisiting a big emotional moment and working through it. This exercise can take as little as 10 minutes and be extremely impactful. I want to start incorperating shorter episode with actional tools like this more often. Would love to hear how you like them. Let me know if you use these prompts and how it went! You can also share what you need more support around by sending me a message on instagram @katerinabarron

Emotions List as mentioned in episode. http://www.visualisingmentalhealth.com/projects-in-development/a-list-of-feelings-or-is-it-a-list-of-emotions/

If you are still needing some guidance around boudary setting check out the below support options.

Free Boundaries Support: Episodes 6, 10, 20, 21, 22, 23 on the You AF podcast.  You can find You AF on iTunes & Spotify.

Limited Funds Support Boundary Setting Queen Work Shop $22 Link in Bio.

Mid level Boundaries Support: Private Boundaries Intensive $222 90 Minute Call + 5 extra days of support through Voxer or WhatsApp. DM Me to Learn More

General Boundaries Questions I will answer for free in my DMs. Anything more I will suggest an appropriate support option form above.

 

So I always hesitate talking about mind set work because I think often times it's presented as the thing to do end of story. In my personal experience it's just the first step. And Also I can't deny that there have been some pretty huge shift in the way I think that blew my mind, and led to living a much more expansive authentic life when I embodied them. To me embodiment is the piece that many main stream coaches often miss talking about that is the real hard part of mindset work. Now don't get me wrong these coaches are probably helping their clients get there but not knowing that you can't force it which can often lead to a shame spiral when you aren't getting there fast enough or you arent believing what you want about yourself fast enough. I don't think you can force embodiment. It's not up to you. It's up to your body. Listen on to hear more about what I mean by this and the steps you do have control over to reach embodiment. Then hear the 5 mindset embodiments that hit me like a ton of bricks that I can no longer unknow as I try to live my best fucking, abundant (eye roll emojoi) life. If you are looking for more support on your healing journey around how to set healthy boundaries and stick to them, You can get access the replay of The Boundary Setting Queen Workshop for $22 here.

https://youaf.vipmembervault.com/products/courses/view/1126512

If you want more individualized hands on support you can shedule a Boundary Setting Intensive Here.

https://calendly.com/katerinabarron/boundary-intensive

More info on both of these offers at the end of the episode. and Feel Free to always slide into my DMs on instagram if you have any questions.

https://www.instagram.com/katerinabarron/

Are you sick of talking about boundaries yet? The reason I'm on such a roll is because I truly belive that boundaries not only create more time, energy, and closer relationships but they are necessary on the healing journey. I grew up in an environment where boundaries weren't safe. Trying to set boundaries went against the norm of people pleasing and doing what you are told. As I tried to set boundaries as a way to protect myself, they would put me in a position where I would be reprimanded, shamed, or even shunned. It wasn't until I was no longer in that environment that I slowly but surely started to set boundaries in a healthier way. It was not an easy road but the more I learned boundardy setting skills and became more emotionally intelligent the more positive changes I was able to make in my life. Boundaries helped me create the physical, emotional and mental space I needed to truly process wtf had happened in my upbringing and fully step into learning to heal. Todays episode is my personal ode to boundaries as the key piece that lead me to where I am today. Of course of circumstances may look different but my experience from a trauma stand point was very human. I hope you can see yourself in my story as you walk your own healing path.

 

If you are interested in learning the exact process I have developed through my own trial and error that build boundary setting skills as a path to healing, Join me March 15th @1PM CST for the Boundary Setting Queen Workshop: https://youaf.vipmembervault.com/products/courses/view/1126512