"It's bad pedagogy." It's a new year! But like the Washington Capitals, this pod is back on its traditional and beloved bullshit. And we've lots to discuss, including Ethan Bear, the Pens-Caps nursing home derby, leech fears, the return of Dima, hot mic vendettas, broken jaws, classiness, and whether or not we want Dylan Strome to face Connor McDavid at the ASG in front of god and everyone so we can study his micro-expressions in gif form. (Opinion is, in fact, divided.) This episode was recorded on January 7, 2024.

Support the pod: Follow us on TikTok @youcantdohockey, get bonus content on Patreon @ patreon.com/youcantdothat, and find merch @ shop.spreadshirt.com/you-cant-do-that! Thanks. We love you.

Timecodes: (3:46) Matchmaker | (14:26) Caps chat |(49:10) Elsewhere in the NHL

"No more Kuzy sauce in the pasta room." The Caps are frolicking through this season with a buoyancy that Eva, Rave, and Kelly cannot help but be charmed by: Kuzy sauce? Tom trick? Dallas slut-ery?? C'mon, we're only human. Also on the agenda: hunting for Bear, Jacob Trouba's artistic explorations, Chicago and Detroit warring for Eva's heart, Rod's angry Bod, the Flyers renaissance, and MONEY MONEY MONEY. And WAGs. This episode was recorded on December 10, 2023.

Support the pod: Follow us on TikTok @youcantdohockey, get bonus content on Patreon @ patreon.com/youcantdothat, and find merch @ shop.spreadshirt.com/you-cant-do-that! Thanks. We love you.

Timecodes: (2:19) He Got That Horse In Him | (8:08) Caps chat | (34:33) Elsewhere in the NHL | (47:26) WAGs sidebar | (57:25) Elsewhere, continued

"Put a bag over your birdcage." Critical questions for Kelly, Rave, and Eva this week: Who's the Selling Sunset and who's the Prison Break? Who's the Patrik Laine and who's the Taylor Hall? Who's getting his biceps squeezed on Swedish TV and who's remaking his struggling professional organization in his image? And do you think Sid & Ovi saved hockey or are you WRONG? This episode was recorded on November 26, 2023.

Support the pod: Follow us on TikTok @youcantdohockey, get bonus content on Patreon @ patreon.com/youcantdothat, and find merch @ shop.spreadshirt.com/you-cant-do-that! Thanks. We love you.

Timecodes: (3:26) Over the River & Thru the Woods | (15:33) Sid & Ovi saved hockey, actually | (22:07) Caps chat | (33:09) Elsewhere in the NHL

"All my life to game." On the emotional scale of Canadian hockey teams, how are YOU doing? Because Nicklas Bäckström is "stepping away from the game" so Rave, Kelly, and Eva aren't great!! At least we have Capitals' Halloween costumes, a Sharks win, and Sabres Speed Dating to soothe us. This episode was recorded on November 12, 2023.

Support the pod: Follow us on TikTok @youcantdohockey, get bonus content on Patreon @ patreon.com/youcantdothat, and find merch @ shop.spreadshirt.com/you-cant-do-that! Thanks. We love you.

Timecodes: (3:58) Am I The Asshole? | (13:45) Caps chat | (45:53) Elsewhere in the NHL

"He does not. Give. One. Hell." Eva, Kelly, and Rave are shocked - SHOCKED! To discover there's GAMBLING going on in this hockey establishment! This week they're checking in on the latest from Ottawa, observing the Dylan Strome of it all in Washington and the Connor Bedard-ing in Chicago, bidding a fond farewell to Jumbo Joe, and scolding the league YET AGAIN for writing dry-erase checks it can't cash. This episode was recorded on October 29, 2023.

Support the pod: Follow us on TikTok @youcantdohockey, get bonus content on Patreon @ patreon.com/youcantdothat, and find merch @ shop.spreadshirt.com/you-cant-do-that! Thanks. We love you.

Timecodes: (3:16) Mascot-ween | (9:49) Caps chat | (32:00) Elsewhere in the NHL | (58:10) Kelly’s Canucks Corner feat. the Oilers

"That gyre is gonna f*ckin' widen, baby." The NHL banned rainbow stick tape celebrations of LGBTQ+ support, but as usual, the joke's on the league because this pod's gay little hands are all over this sport and will be forever. Kelly, Rave, and Eva weigh in on that nonsense, plus a fun and flirty week of good, bad, and unimportant hockey from the Pens, Canucks, and Caps, respectively. This episode was recorded on October 15, 2023.

Support the pod: Follow us on TikTok @youcantdohockey, get bonus content on Patreon @ patreon.com/youcantdothat, and find merch @ shop.spreadshirt.com/you-cant-do-that! Thanks. We love you.

Timecodes: (4:02) Couples Costumes | (13:10) Pride tape discussion | (19:03) Caps chat | (26:33) Elsewhere in the NHL

"There's something delightful about a rat boy forcing your hand." Rave, Kelly, and Eva are sooooo back, and with quite a summer to recap, from Kuzy's unfiltered interview to Mark Badcop's blessedly brief time as CBJ coach and the return of both spite-fueled Nicke and noted Sidney Crosby fan Evgeni Malkin. This episode was recorded on October 2, 2023.

Support the pod: Follow us on TikTok @youcantdohockey, get bonus content on Patreon @ patreon.com/youcantdothat, and find merch @ shop.spreadshirt.com/you-cant-do-that! Thanks. We love you.

Timecodes: (3:45) (All) Star Dew Valley | (11:10) Caps summer recap | (45:40) NHL summer recap

"They're both sans serif." That's a wrap on the '22-'23 NHL season! While our preferred goobers may not have won, Kelly, Eva, and Rave have room in their hearts for some Vegas narratives, too. Plus: Checking in on terrible coaches, fractured locker rooms, Kyle, and our babiest baby's new baby on board. This episode was recorded on June 18, 2023.

Support the pod: Follow us on TikTok @youcantdohockey, get bonus content on Patreon @ patreon.com/youcantdothat, and find merch @ shop.spreadshirt.com/you-cant-do-that! Thanks. We love you.

Timecodes: (2:59) Guess Who? | (11:15) The Stanley Cup Final | (41:44) PLD and the Jets | (48:19) Darryl Sutter and the Flames | (59:35) Mike Babcock and the Blue Jackets | (1:07:11) Elsewhere in the NHL: Canucks, Leafs, Kyle, Caps

"The burden of c*nt to serve." Climb in the Little Stuart car with Eva, Rave, and Kelly for a lightly belated check-in on two rounds of playoffs magic and NHL admin dumbassery featuring media darling Matthew Tkachuk, super-loser Jamie Benn, seductress Sidney Crosby, the agony and ecstasy of Kyle Dubas, and oh so much more. This episode was recorded on May 29, 2023.

Support the pod: Follow us on TikTok @youcantdohockey, get bonus content on Patreon @ patreon.com/youcantdothat, find merch @ shop.spreadshirt.com/you-cant-do-that! Thanks. We love you.

Timecodes: (5:40) HELLO POLICE???? | (15:10) Playoffs catch-up | (1:01:27) NHL admin changes 

"It's mouth stuff." Round 1 was weird and fun as hell, but now we're heading into Round 2 of Stanley Cuppery with a set of teams that feel like mismatched gag gift shot glasses from the thrift shop. Please don't misunderstand: Rave, Eva, and Kelly are LOVING it. This episode was recorded on May 3, 2023.

Get bonus content on Patreon @ patreon.com/youcantdothat and check out our merch @ shop.spreadshirt.com/you-cant-do-that! Thanks. We love you.

Timecodes: (2:12) Experience Cuppage | (12:24) Coaches corner | (24:00) Oilers/Golden Knights | (26:18) Kraken/Stars | (38:21) Leafs/Panthers | (1:01:19) Devils/Canes | (1:11:42) #ALLCAPS | (1:18:26) Coaches corner again | (1:22:06) Elsewhere in the NHL