Your Kickstarter Sucks

Hey what if dogs could use the computer, and go online, and be sad like everyone else? What if you could power your phone by just asking someone nearby to send you some battery? What if you could hear from God all day long by simply looking at your phone while you're trying to do some fucking work for once? That, two horrible card games, and much more on this week's episode of YKS. For more yuk yuks and crack 'em ups, check out patreon.com/yourkickstartersucks, where we post another hour a week of classic YKS hijinks. This week we talk to comedy writer and host Jack Allison about kicking ass and taking names online. YKS Premium posts every Thursday right after I feed my dogs lunch. Music for YKS is courtesy of @LydiaBurrell, Craig Dickman, and our friend Mark Brendle.

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In what can only be described as a triumph of modern storytelling, Mike and JF convene for the 76th time to discuss crapping with the door open, the blue guys, and some very bad cups. Plus, a new Dookie List!For more abandoned figurines of law enforcement administrators, check out patreon.com/yourkickstartersucks. For somewhere around $5 a month, you will receive unlimited (?) access (??) to the entire (???) YKS Premium backlog. On this week's YKSP, the boys try some Japanese ramen sent in by listener Dave, nu metal coffee sent in by listener Olga, and live comment an episode of the very bad Netflix weed show DisJointed. Music for YKS is courtesy of LydiaBurrell, Craig Dickman, and the learned Mark Brendle.

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Big boys and big toys. It's another YKS! Today the guys are talking dick sheaths, cheating on your homework, and, unfortunately, a drinking game based on the Brett Kavanaugh hearings. The world sucks ass. But, ya gotta listen to something. Which reminds us.There's even more terrific stuff to pass the time with over at www.patreon.com/yourkickstartersucks. A lot of it. And it's just sitting there, rotting. Please....take it home today.With music from our friends LydiaBurrell, Craig Dickman, and Mark "Awoooooo" Brendle.

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Mike and JF are back in the studio to talk about expired water, anonymous enemies, and the big election. With music by Lydia Burrell, Craig Dickman, and, of course, our good friend Mark Brendle. For more of the BULL HOCKEY, check out www.patreon.com/yourkickstartersucks. For just $5, which back in the 1800s was probably worth a lot of money so bad example, you'll get access to hours and hours of bonus Mike, JF, and some other guys occasionally style content. THIS WEEK: The debut of a brand new segment...The 3 pack!

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San Francisco: Where Ideas Take Flight! For more Nervous Horse Energy, check out patreon.com/yourkickstartersucks. And thanks to our friends Craig Dickman, Mark Brendle, and Lydia Burrell for the music. Very cool.

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Spooky October kicks off with this little ditty you're REALLY gonna love. Mike and JF are talkin' discounted beers, they're talking Grenchell, they're talking offensive phone applications. What else is there? Hell, what else do you need? A plexiglass tray that folds out from your computer monitor so you can eat on it? Ok, fine!Well if you do think of anything else, you can check out www.patreon.com/yourkickstartersucks and ask us and we will see if we can figure it out. Thank you to our friends Lydia Burrell and Mark Brendle for this week's music, as well. Thanks. Thank you. Goodbye

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What if all it took to keep our kids safe from gun violence was an app? What if a wildly untalented rapper could ask for and receive $1MM for no clear reason? What if there were big hard wangs in the official emoji keyboard? Mike and JF, the wildest podcast pardners in the west, answer those questions and more on today's episode of Your Kickstarter Sucks. Plus, the return of Real or Fake (Stick Edition), a bunch of chair noises, and your letters. Check out Hollywood Handbook, the insider's guide to kicking butt and dropping names in the red carpet lined back hallways of this industry we call showbiz, on iTunes, Stitcher, or your favorite podcast app. It's one hell of a program. And that's a fact.Also, the vast archive of YKS Premium is available for your listening pleasure over at patreon.com/yourkickstartersucks. That money goes straight into my budget for buying boards and screwing them up onto my wall, so I highly encourage you to subscribe today. I need more boards!

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Wow! Episode 70! The number some people are saying is even funnier than the one before it. Incredible.Sure, on this episode, Mike and JF talk about Mike's old schoolboy days, draining the swump, and $150,000 audio systems in their friends' houses. But wow...70! Haha. The number of it. Dang.For more Adventures of Josek and CH4RL13 the droik, check out patreon.com/yourkickstartersucks. Over 50 references to contemporary Christian Rock await you!Music for YKS is courtesy of Drew Toothpaste, Lydia Burrell, and the smothered, covered, and capped Mark Brendle.

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Bus People, Cathouse Appetizers, and Fat Guy Brass Knuckles; this episode's got it all. Thanks. Music for YKS is courtesy of Drew Toothpaste, Lydia Burrell/Howell Dawdy, and the scrupulous Mark Brendle. For more of this stuff, since you love it so much, check out www.patreon.com/yourkickstartersucks. At least a couple hours of stuff on there features waify internet dipshit Stefan Heck. And if you like that guy, it might be fun for you to hear him talk some more. It's not just him, though.

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Former President Barack Obama joins the boys to talk tan jackets, NCAA brackets, and kicking butt while kicking butts, or how hard it REALLY is to run a country when you just want a hit of that classic stimulant, nicotine. PLUS! Actor Tom Cruise stops by to discuss the Univers(al)-building classic that wasn't, 2017's The Mummy, dish on the L. Ron Hubbard the public never really got to see, and taste test a cronut. Just kidding, it's the same two fat guys talking about the internet. Enjoy.For more bullshit we just make up, check out www.patreon.com/yourkickstartersucks. It's essentially the same thing as the free one, but it costs money. Music for YKS is courtesy of Twitter's Lydia Burrell, Drew Toothpaste, and the onomatopoetic Mark Brendle.

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