10% Happier with Dan Harris

What Anderson learned from losing everyone he loved, what we owe our parents, and how grief shapes all of us--a conversation from the podcast "IMO."

On IMO, siblings Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson aim to bring you candid perspectives on the everyday questions shaping our lives, relationships and the world around us. Each week, they're joined by a guest to tackle real questions from real folks just like you offering practical advice, personal storytelling, and plenty of laughs. In this episode, Anderson Cooper shares what he's learned about holding space for grief. The three talk about how they managed (or avoided) the grieving process and how their moms prepared their kids to live without them. Plus Anderson shares his thoughts on the Vanderbilts inspiring an episode of "The Gilded Age."

You can hear more episodes of IMO at https://lnk.to/imomichellecraigTH

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Practical Buddhist strategies to focus the mind.

Shaila Catherine is a dharma teacher and author of the book titled "Beyond Distraction: Five Practical Ways to Focus the Mind." She authored two additional books on the concentration practices called jhana and approaches to insight meditation. She has practiced for more than 45 years, including nine years, cumulatively, of silent retreat. Shaila has been leading meditation retreats for 30 years, and has developed an array of in-depth online courses offered through BodhiCourses.org.

In this episode we talk about:

• The Buddha's struggles with distraction
• Shaila's attempts to make the teachings of the Buddha accessible to contemporary minds
• The importance of getting to know your own thought patterns
• the counterintuitive strategy of "avoid it, ignore it, forget it,"
• Replacing seduction with mindfulness
• Developing a flexibility of mind
• And why we're vulnerable to our own tendencies when we're not mindful

This episode originally aired June 29th, 2022.

Related Episodes:

• How to Focus | Shaila Catherine

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Additional Resources:

• Shaila's upcoming course: Beyond Distraction
• Shaila's books
• Insight Meditation South Bay

This episode is sponsored by:

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Plus: How to "turn down the volume" on suffering, how to reframe your problems, and the clinical evidence for "stopping and smelling the roses."

Eric Garland, PhD, LCSW is Endowed Professor in Health Sciences at the Sanford Institute for Empathy and Compassion, Professor in the Department of Psychiatry and the Center for Addiction Science and Treatment at University of California San Diego (UCSD), and Director of UCSD ONEMIND (Optimized Neuroscience-Enhanced Mindfulness Intervention Design). Dr. Garland researches treatments for addiction and chronic pain, and is the developer of an innovative, mind-body therapy founded on insights derived from cognitive, affective, and neurobiological science, called Mindfulness-Oriented Recovery Enhancement (MORE).

In this episode we talk about:

• The three parts of his MORE protocol
• Simple practices for dealing with everyday addictions
• Mindfulness techniques for dealing with pain
• What pain actually is
• How to reframe negative thought patterns
• Practical tools for regaining a sense of joy in your life
• And much more

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Additional Resources:

• moretherapy.com
• Mindfulness-Oriented Recovery Enhancement: An Evidence-Based Treatment for Chronic Pain and Opioid Use
• Mindfulness-Oriented Recovery Enhancement for Addiction, Stress, and Pain

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Plus: How to find practices that work for you, what "mindfulness" actually means, and a new audiobook out now.

Sebene Selassie has been meditating for decades, survived cancer three times, and still says the practice isn't a magic bullet. That honesty is kind of the point.

Today we're sharing a sneak preview of Dan's new audiobook, Even You Can Meditate, co-authored with Sebene. Think of it as a practical rescue plan for anyone who feels too distracted, overwhelmed, or skeptical to start (or restart) a meditation practice.

In this preview, Dan and Seb cover:

• Why "mindfulness" is actually a bit of a misnomer — and what the practice is really about

• What meditation can and can't do for you (it won't solve everything, but the benefits tend to kick in faster than you'd expect)

• How to find the style that works for your specific brain, body, and life — including if sitting still feels impossible

• The role of intention, and why getting clear on your "why" can become a surprisingly powerful engine for keeping a practice going

• The five hindrances — the predictable challenges that come up for almost every meditator — and how to work with them instead of against them

Even You Can Meditate is out now on Audible. Listen now at audible.com/danharris.

And mark your calendar: Dan and Seb are running a free five-day meditation challenge March 23–27 on Dan's app, 10% with Dan Harris. Download the app at app.danharris.com.

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The comedian on: connecting instead of separating, feeling whole, and the upside of being an affirmation addict.

Pete Holmes is a stand-up comedian, writer, and actor. He created and starred in HBO's Crashing and hosted The Pete Holmes Show on TBS. He has released stand-up specials on HBO, Netflix, and Comedy Central, hosts the popular You Made It Weird podcast, and is the author of Comedy Sex God.

This episode is a live conversation recorded in NYC as part of a benefit for the amazing organization New York Insight Meditation Center.

In this episode we talk about:

• How Pete Holmes's evangelical upbringing shaped his early ideas about fear, morality, and God
• Psychedelics, awareness, identity and consciousness
• Mysticism and metaphor versus literal belief
• Meditation and different paths of practice
• What meditation reveals about awareness, forgetting, and remembering
• Being an affirmation addict
• Service and helping others
• Happiness versus peace of mind

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The brain benefits of self-disclosure, the costs of staying silent, and how to know what to reveal and when.

Leslie John is the James E. Burke Professor of Business Administration at the Harvard Business School. Her new book is called Revealing: The Underrated Power of Oversharing.

In this episode we talk about:

• Why self-disclosure can feel risky but is often socially rewarding
• The psychological and physiological costs of keeping secrets
• How putting feelings into words can reduce rumination and anxiety
• Why validation is often more helpful than advice
• Why undersharing leads to missed opportunities in relationships, work, and life

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If you struggle with the terrifying reality that everything changes, this conversation is for you.

Bart van Melik is a meditation teacher, psychotherapist, and our Teacher of the Month for January. In this live session recorded on Zoom with subscribers to the 10% with Dan Harris app, Bart and Dan explore one of Bart's favorite teachings: "Keep calmly knowing change"—four words that supposedly distill all 84,000 of the Buddha's teachings.

We talk about:

• Why attuning to the flow of things brings peace (even though change is terrifying)—and what the Buddha said on his deathbed about impermanence

• How to introduce meditation to kids without making it seem difficult or boring

• The three dimensions of mindfulness: internal (your own mind), external (noticing other people's breath on the subway), and relational (the field we're all co-creating together)

• Whether connecting through venting and complaining is harmless or something to examine more closely

• "Useless speech" (sampappalāpa)—the Pali term for saying stuff that doesn't really matter, and why the urge is often just "look at me"

• Why Bart is still on this path after all these years: community

Bart closes with a beautiful dedication about coming home to the body and appreciating that we show up in community.

These live sessions happen every week in the app 10% with Dan Harris, where you can meditate with Dan and guest teachers and ask questions in real time. Get the app at danharris.com—there's a free 14-day trial.

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Thanks to our sponsor:

LinkedIn: Spend $250 on your first campaign on LinkedIn ads and get a $250 credit for the next one. Just go to linkedin.com/happier.

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Plus, making the mundane sacred, meditating in a cave, and lowering the ego walls.

Michael Pollan is the author of ten books, all of which were New York Times bestsellers. His latest book is A World Appears: A Journey Into Consciousness.

In this episode we talk about:

• How to get over yourself
• How to reduce rumination
• How to lower the ego's walls
• How to elevate mundane tasks
• The value of what Zen practitioners call "don't know mind"
• How to reclaim your attention from Big Tech (what Michael calls the "colonizers of consciousness")
• The value of MDMA-assisted therapy
• Michael's experiences meditating in a cave

Related Episodes:

• Don't Let This Crisis Go To Waste | Roshi Joan Halifax

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A financial psychology expert on the science of contentment.

Morgan Housel is the New York Times Bestselling author of The Psychology of Money and Same As Ever. He's a partner at The Collaborative Fund, serves on the board of directors at Markel and is host of The Morgan Housel Podcast. His new book is The Art of Spending Money: Simple Choices for a Richer Life.

In this episode we talk about:

• What "irrational" spending habits really tell us
• How to manage money ambition with sanity
• How to use scarcity to your advantage
• A useful equation for finding contentment
• The key defense against envy
• How to minimize future regret
• Why young people should check their bank accounts more often
• How to talk to your kids about money
• How to disconnect self-worth from financial worth
• And more

Related Episodes:

• The Psychology of Money | Morgan Housel

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Thanks to our sponsors: Function Health: Visit functionhealth.com/happier and use the gift code HAPPIER25 for a $25 credit toward your membership. BetterHelp: Sign up and get 10% off at betterhelp.com/Happier.

How do you stay engaged without getting consumed? That's one of the central questions in this conversation between Dan and high-performance psychologist Dr. Michael Gervais.

Together they explore:

• working at your edge in meditation, panic disorder, and professional life

• why love might be the most important skill we can develop

• navigating rage in difficult political times

• and the Ideal Competitive Mindset — a concept Dan found surprisingly useful.

Originally recorded for Dr. Gervais' podcast, Finding Mastery, this one turned into a real back-and-forth.

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