10% Happier with Dan Harris

Contemplating your own death can feel like a massive bummer at first, but there's good news: how you react to that inescapable fact really matters.

Vinny Ferraro has practiced insight meditation (vipassanā) since the mid-90s. He's the Guiding Teacher of the Big Heart City Sangha in San Francisco and has led a weekly sitting group for almost two decades.

As a fully empowered Dharma Teacher thru Spirit Rock/IMS, he has taught residential retreats at Spirit Rock, Insight Meditation Society, and the Esalen Institute. Currently, he leads Spirit Rock's Year to Live course and teaches retreats and daylongs through Big Heart City and meditation centers across the country.

He is a respected leader in developing and implementing interventions for at-risk populations. leading groups in schools, juvenile halls and prisons since 1987. He has led emotional intelligence workshops for over 100,000 youth on four continents.

In this episode we talk about:

• Why it's important to think about your own death even if you're not expecting it anytime soon
• The distinction between the actual conditions of your life and how much you suffer
• A practice called the five Daily Remembrances, which Dan started doing himself right after we recorded this — and which has made a real difference for him
• And some of other practices they do in the class, including the "life review" and "housekeeping"

Related Episodes:

Three Buddhist Practices For Getting Your Sh*t Together | Vinny Ferraro

How Thinking About Death Can Improve Your Life | Alua Arthur

Join the waiting list for A Year To Live at Spirit Rock.

Find out more about the Young Adult Retreat at Spirit Rock (taught by Vinny Ferraro, Matthew Brensilver, Cara Lai, and Hakim Tafari).

Use code TENPERCENT for 10% off these two courses at Spirit Rock:

Anxiety as Teacher: A Dharma and Yoga Daylong

Cultivating the Beautiful Factors of Mind

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Our favorite playlists on: Anxiety, Sleep, Relationships, Most Popular Episodes

Full Shownotes: www.meditatehappier.com/podcast/tph/vinny-ferraro-a-year-to-live

Additional Resources:

• Download the Happier Meditation app today.

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers.

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"Radical self-love" — what it is and how to do it.

It is incredibly common for many of us humans, whatever our gender, to be at war with our bodies -- trying to live up to the people we see in the movies, on social media, or even the versions of ourselves in old pictures. This never-enough-ness can lead to an ambient level of self-loathing that can be incredibly destructive. That's where "radical self-love" comes in.

Our guest today is Sonya Renee Taylor. She is the author of three books, including The Body is Not an Apology: The Power of Radical Self-Love. She is the Founder and Radical Executive Officer of The Body is Not An Apology. She has come to this work as a result of her own personal pain, as a Black woman inhabiting a body that she says does not conform to societal norms.

In this conversation, we talk about defining radical self-love (and why she believes it's our natural state), tools for cultivating radical self-love, and the connection between being OK with yourself and the larger society.

Full Shownotes: www.meditatehappier.com/podcast/tph/sonya-renee-taylor-rerun

Additional Resources:

• Download the Happier Meditation app today.

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers.

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Very few of us relish chaos and disruption, but they are facts of life, given the nonnegotiable nature of change. In this episode with Zenju Earthlyn Manuel, we're going to talk about how to tune into the value of disruption, and learn how to sit with the chaos.

Zenju Earthlyn Manuel is an ordained Zen priest, holds a Ph.D., and worked for decades as a social science researcher and development director for non-profit organizations. She is also a prolific author.

In this conversation we'll explore:

• what to do with the unknown and not having any answers
• the power of a "sip of silence" (her term)
• what she means by the phrase "death as a doorway to tenderness"
• how she defines tenderness - a word that can easily get bogged down in sloppy sentimentality
• and what she meant when she wrote "I'm not advocating love as an answer to all of the ills of the world. Then again, it is just that simple to be love."

Content Warning: There are brief mentions of assault; spiritual, sexual, and substance abuse; and racism, including an incident Zenju experienced herself.

Full Shownotes: www.meditatehappier.com/podcast/tph/zenju-earthlyn-manuel-rerun

This episode was originally published in October 2021.

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers.

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Can mindfulness really pull you out of a spiral of self-judgment? Don't you need to be judgmental sometimes? What's the difference between being discerning and judgmental?

Description:

Meditation and mindfulness doesn't uproot your capacity to be judgmental, but it can help you see the value in being judgmental by learning how to work with the judging mind.

La Sarmiento has been practicing Vipassana meditation since 1998. La is a mentor for the Mindfulness Meditation Teacher Certification Program, a teacher with Cloud Sangha, and a contributor to the Happier Meditation app.

In this episode we talk about:

• How mindfulness can help us identify when we're being judgmental
• The difference between discernment and judgment
• How it can be so delicious to be judgmental of others – but why it's actually harmful to ourselves and others
• The four questions to ask when we notice ourselves going into judgment mode
• How to operationalize the phrase "am I suffering right now?"
• Investigating the motivations behind striving for success
• Why owning up to being a jerk is sometimes the exact right answer

Full Shownotes: www.meditatehappier.com/podcast/tph/la-sarmiento-rerun-2024

Where to find La Sarmiento online:

Website: www.lasarmiento.com

Additional Resources:

Download the Happier Meditation app today.

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers.

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Equanimity: what it is, what it isn't, and how to get it.

Guest Kamala Masters was one of the teachers at Dan's first ever meditation retreat. In this episode she dives into how to develop equanimity and shares her story of learning how to practice meditation during her everyday life while raising three children on her own.

Kamala Masters has been meditating since the 1970s, first with Anagarika Munindra, who was Joseph Goldstein's first teacher, and then with the Burmese master Sayadaw U Pandita with whom she twice temporarily ordained as a Buddhist nun. More recently, she's been training with another Burmese master we've talked about here on the show, Sayadaw U Tejaniya. She is a Guiding Teacher at the Insight Meditation Society, and the co-founder of the Vipassana Metta Foundation, which developed the Maui Dharma Sanctuary.

In this conversation we talk about:

• What is equanimity?
• The most common misconception about equanimity
• The near and far enemies of equanimity
• The power and limitations of setting intentions

Full Shownotes: https://meditatehappier.com/podcast/tph/kamala-masters-rerun

Where to find Kamala Masters online:

Website: Vipassana Metta on Maui

Additional Resources:

Download the Happier Meditation app today.

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers.

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Dan and Executive Producer, DJ Cashmere, pull back the curtain on what we do, how we do it—and what's coming next.

In this episode we talk about:

• An exciting New Year's series reveal and upcoming meditation challenge
• What goes into making the show–and why we do it
• The ins and outs of starting a new business
• And much more

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Our favorite playlists on: Anxiety, Sleep, Relationships, Most Popular Episodes

Full Shownotes: https://meditatehappier.com/podcast/tph/bts-878

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers.

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How your blindspots hurt your decision-making— and how to fix it.

Anu Gupta is an educator, lawyer, scientist, and the founder and CEO of BE MORE with Anu, an education technology benefit corporation that trains professionals across corporate, nonprofit, and government sectors to advance DEIB and wellness by breaking bias. His work has reached 300+ organizations training more than 80,000 professionals impacting over 30 million lives. Gupta holds a JD from NYU Law, MPhil in Development Studies from Cambridge University, and BA in International Relations and Middle Eastern & Islamic Studies from NYU. As a gay immigrant of color, he came to the work of breaking bias after almost ending his life due to lifelong experiences with racism, homophobia, and Islamophobia. The realization that bias can be unlearned helped lead him out of that dark point and inspired a lifelong mission to build a global movement for social healing based on principles of mindfulness and compassion. A peer-reviewed author, he has written and spoken extensively, including on the TED stage, the Oprah Conversation, Fast Company, Newsweek, and Vogue Business. He is the author of Breaking Bias: Where Stereotypes and Prejudices Come From—and the Science-Backed Method to Unravel Them.

In this episode we talk about:

• The 5 causes of bias
• The dis-utility of shame
• What has – and hasn't – been working in DEI trainings
• Contemplative practices, on and off the cushion, for breaking bias
• And his response to skeptics

Related Episodes:

• Why You're Not Seeing the World Clearly— and How to Fix It | Jessica Nordell
• The Self-Interested Case for Examining Your Biases | John Biewen
• Dolly Chugh, How Good People Fight Bias
• Rhonda Magee, Law Professor Using Mindfulness to Defeat Bias
• How to Call People In (Instead of Calling Them Out) | Loretta Ross

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Ten Percent Happier online bookstore

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Our favorite playlists on: Anxiety, Sleep, Relationships, Most Popular Episodes

Full Shownotes: https://happierapp.com/podcast/tph/anu-gupta-877

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers.

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The upside of the often misunderstood "tribalism".

Michael Morris is the Chavkin-Chang Professor of Leadership at Columbia Business School as well as a Professor in its Psychology Department. Outside of academia, Professor Morris has consulted with and conducted executive training workshops for hundreds of clients across the globe, including Fortune 100 firms, governments, and the Obama and Clinton campaigns. He lives in New York City. His latest book is called Tribal: How The Cultural Instincts That Divide Us Can Help Bring Us Together.

Related Episodes:

• How Turning Habits Into Rituals Can Help You At Home, At Work, And When You're Anxious | Michael Norton

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Our favorite playlists on: Anxiety, Sleep, Relationships, Most Popular Episodes

Full Shownotes: https://happierapp.com/podcast/tph/michael-morris-876

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers.

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A famed author and humorist takes a deep dive into grief (with Dr. Bianca Harris as co-host).

Sloane Crosley is the author of The New York Times bestselling books Grief Is for People, How Did You Get This Number, and I Was Told There'd Be Cake. She is also the author of Look Alive Out There, Cult Classic and The Clasp, both of which have been optioned for film. She served as editor of The Best American Travel Writing series and is featured in The Library of America's 50 Funniest American Writers, The Best American Nonrequired Reading, Phillip Lopate's The Contemporary American Essay and others. She was the inaugural columnist for The New York Times Op-Ed "Townies" series, a contributing editor at Interview Magazine, and a columnist for The Village Voice, Vanity Fair, The Independent, Black Book, Departures and The New York Observer. She is a contributing editor at Vanity Fair. She has taught at Columbia University and The Yale Writers' Workshop.

In this episode we talk about:

• A series of consecutive losses that Sloane endured
• The concept of cumulative grief
• Sloane's version of the five stages of grief
• Her beef with acceptance
• Bibliotherapy as a source of healing
• And much more

Related Episodes:

The Science Of Grief: What Helps, What Doesn't, And Why We Don't Talk About It Enough | Cody Delistraty

How To Talk To Yourself When Things Suck | Sam Sanders

#450. The Science of Loss and Recovery | Mary-Frances O'Connor

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Follow Dan on social: Instagram, TikTok

Ten Percent Happier online bookstore

Subscribe to our YouTube Channel

Our favorite playlists on: Anxiety, Sleep, Relationships, Most Popular Episodes

Full Shownotes: https://happierapp.com/podcast/tph/sloane-crosley-874

Additional Resources:

• Download the Happier app today: https://my.happierapp.com/link/download
• Anxiety: The Missing Stage of Grief: A Revolutionary Approach to Understanding and Healing the Impact of Loss
• All My Puny Sorrows
• Otherwise: New & Selected Poems By Jane Kenyon

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers.

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Smart strategies that emerged from a brutal year.

Sam Sanders is an award-winning reporter, radio host and podcaster. He co-hosts the podcast Vibe Check with Zach Stafford and Saeed Jones. He also currently hosts The Sam Sanders Show from KCRW. Check out the album he mentioned in the episode, Caroline Rose's The Art of Forgetting.

This is part 2 in a 3-part series we're running on grief.

In this episode we talk about:

• The fact that there is no right way to deal with grief
• The value of feeling your feelings — even though it sucks
• Why it can be helpful to take breaks from your grief without guilt
• The importance of joy and play
• The changing nature of grief
• What it means to be "anointed" by grief
• And what it looks like to maintain a relationship with someone even after they've died

Related Episodes:

• How (and Why) to Hug Your Inner Dragons | Richard Schwartz
• Kryptonite for the Inner Critic | Kristin Neff
• The Voice in Your Head | Ethan Kross
• Jonathan Van Ness on Shame, Shopping, Bodies, and Hope

Sign up for Dan's weekly newsletter here

Follow Dan on social: Instagram, TikTok

Ten Percent Happier online bookstore

Subscribe to our YouTube Channel

Our favorite playlists on: Anxiety, Sleep, Relationships, Most Popular Episodes

Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/tph/podcast-episode/sam-sanders-873