Counselor Toolbox Podcast with DocSnipes

1001-How Endurance can Improve Your Marriage _ Pastoral Counseling Series

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Here is a structured bullet-point summary of the video titled "Restoring Your Marriage with God: Developing Endurance" presented by Dr. Dawn-Elise Snipes:


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Introduction
  • Presenter: Dr. Dawn-Elise Snipes
  • Topic: Developing endurance in marriage, guided by biblical principles.
  • Key Idea: Marriage involves enduring both good and bad times, as reflected in traditional wedding vows.
    Understanding Endurance
    • Definition: Endurance is the courage to face and overcome difficult situations, motivated by hope for improvement.
    • Biblical Basis:
    • Romans 5:3-4: Suffering leads to endurance, which builds character and hope.
    • James 1:12: Endurance through trials results in the Crown of Life from God.
      Endurance in Personal Responsibility
      • Admitting Mistakes:
      • It's often easier to endure others' faults than to acknowledge and face consequences for our own.
      • Example: Recognizing personal faults and enduring correction, as advised in Proverbs 15:32.
        Biblical Examples of Endurance
        • Enduring Personal Mistakes:
        • Adam and Eve: Expelled from Eden after disobeying God.
        • Noah: Endured the flood and later faced consequences for getting drunk.
        • Other Figures: Abraham, Aaron, the Israelites, Moses, Jonah, David—each faced and endured the consequences of their actions.
        • Enduring Others’ Mistakes:
        • Jacob: Tricked into marrying Leah instead of Rachel.
        • Joseph: Endured slavery and false accusations.
        • Other Figures: Moses, Ruth, Naomi, Job, and David all endured hardships caused by others' actions.
          Applying Endurance in Marriage
          • Self-Reflection:
          • Reflect on personal experiences where endurance was necessary (e.g., parenting, personal growth).
          • Identify risks needed to repair a marriage, such as speaking the truth or rebuilding trust.
          • Motivational Enhancement:
          • Focus on long-term benefits of enduring and working on relationships.
          • Increase motivation by recognizing small achievements and progress.
            • Practical Tools for Endurance
            • Distress Tolerance:
            • MAD Technique: Be Mindful, Accept feelings, Down-regulate stress.
            • Dialectics: Embrace both the good and bad aspects of life and relationships.
            • Tragic Optimism: Acknowledge difficulties while maintaining hope for improvement.
            • Handling Resistance in Counseling:
            • Explore reasons behind resistance to change.
            • Ensure both partners understand the purpose and benefits of suggested changes.
              • Additional Considerations
              • Commitment, Control, Challenge (Heartiness):
              • Commitment: Review what's important in life and allocate energy accordingly.
              • Control: Identify aspects of life where control is possible and make plans to manage them.
              • Challenge: View obstacles as challenges to overcome rather than insurmountable barriers.
              • Repairing Attachment:
              • C.A.R.E.S. Mnemonic: Focus on Consistent mindfulness, Attention, Response, Empathy, and Support.
              • Rebuild trust and faith in one another through enduring commitment and small steps of progress.
                • Conclusion
                • Endurance in Recovery: Essential for the success of counseling and improving relationships.
                • Biblical Insight: Resistance is a sign of fear or lack of tools to change; seek strength in faith, as exemplified by Jonah's prayer in distress.


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                  Chapters:

                  00:00:00 - Developing Endurance in Your Marriage

                  00:04:21 - The Endurance of Mistakes and Fallout

                  00:08:59 - Endurance in the Bible

                  00:13:19 - Increasing Motivation for Growth

                  00:17:29 - Distress Tolerance Skills in Relationships

                  00:21:51 - Calming Down and Having Productive Discussions

                  00:26:01 - Overcoming Resistance to Change

                  00:30:10 - Building Endurance and Courage in Relationships

                  00:34:08 - Making a Plan and Facing Challenges

                  00:38:16 - Increasing Endurance through Effective Communication

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                  Counselor Toolbox Podcast with DocSnipesBy Dr. Dawn-Elise Snipes
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