The Jordan Harbinger Show

1226: James Kimmel, Jr. | No Even Scores in the Science of Revenge


Listen Later

Your brain on revenge looks like your brain on drugs. Here, Dr. James Kimmel, Jr. explores the neuroscience of vengeance and the power of forgiveness.

Full show notes and resources can be found here: jordanharbinger.com/1226

What We Discuss with James Kimmel, Jr.:

  • Revenge activates the same brain circuitry as drug addiction. When we experience grievances, our brain's pain centers light up, triggering cravings for revenge that activate the nucleus accumbens and dorsal striatum — the same pleasure and addiction pathways used by cocaine, gambling, and alcohol. This explains why revenge feels temporarily euphoric but leaves us wanting more.
  • Most violence stems from perceived victimization, not inherent evil. Nearly all forms of human violence — from playground bullying to terrorism and genocide — originate from revenge-seeking behavior. The perpetrator almost always views themselves as a victim first, making revenge the root cause of mass shootings, intimate partner violence, gang conflicts, and even war.
  • Imagined grievances trigger real revenge desires with real-world consequences. It doesn't matter whether victimization is real or manufactured — if it feels real in your head, it produces genuine revenge cravings. This explains how leaders like Hitler used the "stab in the back" myth to mobilize a nation, and why mass shooters nurse perceived slights that no one else remembers.
  • Revenge addiction destroys relationships and keeps you trapped in the past. Unlike self-defense (which protects your future), revenge always looks backward, creating a preoccupation with past wrongs. It damages every relationship, increases anger and anxiety, and paradoxically makes you feel worse after the initial dopamine hit fades — all while fearing retaliation.
  • Forgiveness is the neurological cure — and you can learn it. Science now shows we're hardwired for forgiveness as much as revenge. Forgiveness actually stops pain rather than just covering it up, shuts down revenge cravings, and reactivates your prefrontal cortex. Dr. Kimmel's "Nonjustice System" — a role-play trial method tested at Yale — gives you a practical way to be heard, hold someone accountable in your mind, and ultimately release yourself from past wounds. More tools and insights coming in part two later this week.
  • And much more...

And if you're still game to support us, please leave a review here — even one sentence helps!

  • Sign up for Six-Minute Networking — our free networking and relationship development mini course — at jordanharbinger.com/course!
  • Subscribe to our once-a-week Wee Bit Wiser newsletter today and start filling your Wednesdays with wisdom!
  • Do you even Reddit, bro? Join us at r/JordanHarbinger!

This Episode Is Brought To You By Our Fine Sponsors:

  • Mint Mobile: Shop plans at mintmobile.com/jhs
  • Function Health: $100 credit: functionhealth.com/jordan, code JORDAN100
  • Hiya: 50% off first order: hiyahealth.com/jordan
  • ButcherBox: Free protein for a year + $20 off first box: butcherbox.com/jordan
  • Airbnb: airbnb.com/host

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

...more
View all episodesView all episodes
Download on the App Store

The Jordan Harbinger ShowBy Jordan Harbinger

  • 4.8
  • 4.8
  • 4.8
  • 4.8
  • 4.8

4.8

11,762 ratings


More shows like The Jordan Harbinger Show

View all
Stuff You Should Know by iHeartPodcasts

Stuff You Should Know

78,411 Listeners

Freakonomics Radio by Freakonomics Radio + Stitcher

Freakonomics Radio

32,055 Listeners

Hidden Brain by Hidden Brain, Shankar Vedantam

Hidden Brain

43,568 Listeners

Adam Carolla Show by PodcastOne / Carolla Digital

Adam Carolla Show

37,165 Listeners

We're Alive by Wayland Productions Inc

We're Alive

9,648 Listeners

The Art of Manliness by The Art of Manliness

The Art of Manliness

14,275 Listeners

The Adam and Dr. Drew Show by PodcastOne / Carolla Digital

The Adam and Dr. Drew Show

8,736 Listeners

Making Sense with Sam Harris by Sam Harris

Making Sense with Sam Harris

26,357 Listeners

RHAP: We Know Survivor by Survivor Know-It-All, Rob Cesternino

RHAP: We Know Survivor

1,515 Listeners

LadyGang by PodcastOne

LadyGang

11,203 Listeners

Court Junkie by PodcastOne

Court Junkie

8,537 Listeners

Something You Should Know by Mike Carruthers | OmniCast Media

Something You Should Know

4,189 Listeners

Off The Vine with Kaitlyn Bristowe by PodcastOne

Off The Vine with Kaitlyn Bristowe

21,631 Listeners

Cold Case Files by A&E / PodcastOne

Cold Case Files

8,699 Listeners

Swindled by A Concerned Citizen

Swindled

9,820 Listeners

The Michael Shermer Show by Michael Shermer

The Michael Shermer Show

933 Listeners

American Scandal by Wondery

American Scandal

19,083 Listeners

The Charlie Kirk Show by Charlie Kirk

The Charlie Kirk Show

67,149 Listeners

Cautionary Tales with Tim Harford by Pushkin Industries

Cautionary Tales with Tim Harford

5,151 Listeners

The Prof G Pod with Scott Galloway by Vox Media Podcast Network

The Prof G Pod with Scott Galloway

5,571 Listeners

People I (Mostly) Admire by Freakonomics Radio + Stitcher

People I (Mostly) Admire

2,073 Listeners

Scamfluencers by Wondery

Scamfluencers

7,404 Listeners

Inner Cosmos with David Eagleman by iHeartPodcasts

Inner Cosmos with David Eagleman

588 Listeners

The Economics of Everyday Things by Freakonomics Network & Zachary Crockett

The Economics of Everyday Things

1,653 Listeners