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\nMost people start relationships without knowing how to keep them alive over time. With romantic and business partnerships, tension and frustrations often build, causing trust and connection to fade. Did you know there are structures for forming relationships, and practices for continual “relationship hygiene,” that make them less likely to fall apart? Today’s guest and I discuss this! 
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\nhttps://traffic.libsyn.com/secure/manalive/Michael.mp3
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\nShow notes
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\nI remember being young and watching my parents fight about taking out the garbage. 
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\nMy mom would pull the drawstring on the top of the bag closed, steaming with anger about the fact that my dad hadn’t done it himself. She was pissed that she had to remind him, AGAIN! 
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\nMy dad would make light of her frustration and then share his own strategy for getting it done on his own timeline and complain that she was nagging him. 
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\nI wanted to yell “Stop it! You guys are not fighting about the garbage! You’re fighting about the resentments that have built up from being misunderstood, unheard and unsupported!” (I tried to say this a few times but it didn’t go over well.)
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\nTheir 50th wedding anniversary just passed and sadly I saw that important conversations, about how they don’t feel loved or connected, still haven’t happened. 
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\nThis doesn’t have to happen to you! 
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\nWhether you’re single, or a few years or decades into a relationship, it’s important to keep it vital and healthy. Think of keeping your teeth healthy. You don’t just brush them once and then leave them to rot! You brush them a couple times a day, to ensure you get rid of the build up! 
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\nIt amazes me that relationships are similar, but most of us were not taught relational hygiene practices. 
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\nToday’s Man Alive Podcast is with a dear friend and colleague, Michael Porcelli. We have facilitated Authentic Relating Courses together for many years and have been practicing relational hygiene together for more than a decade. Michael is a consultant, coach, educator, writer, speaker, group facilitator and founding member with Bedock Culture and Leadership. He is someone who has a strong sense of relationship clarity and integrity. 
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\nIn this conversation we discussed:
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\n* Foundational communication tools many people never learn (that sadly results in 50+% divorce rate!)* What it’s like to have relationship agreements that allow for both partners’ values and desires to be experienced* How to start challenging conversations in a way you’re more likely to be understood and stay connected* Tips for clearing the air when a relationship feels strained or dull * An upgrade to apologies that does a better job of repairing and strengthening a relationship 
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\nAfter listening to this podcast check out one of my solo episodes —\xa0How to Show Emotions Without Seeming Weak. It’s important to me that you know how that sharing your truth, fears and whatever is vulnerable to you does not make you less manly or powerful!\xa0
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\nLinks:
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\n\n\t\tShana James: Coach, Speaker, Author\n\t\t\n\t\t1\n\t\t46:58\n\t\t\n\t\n\t\t#146: This Podcast Will Make You Dangerous (In a Good Way) – Tripp Lanier\n\t\thttps://shanajamescoaching.com/peak-performance/\n\t\tThu, 16 Jul 2020 18:01:47 +0000\n\t\thttps://shanajamescoaching.com/?p=6099\n\t\thttps://shanajamescoaching.com/peak-performance/#comments\n\t\thttps://shanajamescoaching.com/peak-performance/feed/\n\t\t1\n\t\t\n
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\nBeing a man who has a powerful impact on the world while also feeling alive, free and at peace is no small task. Many men give up their fulfillment as they climb the corporate ladder and become more successful. But on today’s podcast Tripp Lanier, author of the book This Book Will Make You Dangerous, proves that you don’t have to give up your well-being, vitality, joy or anything else for success! 
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\nhttps://traffic.libsyn.com/secure/manalive/Trip-Lanier.mp3
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\nShow notes
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\nHow would you show up in the world if you didn’t need to appear good, strong, smart, legit or unique?
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\nWhat would happen if you stopped worrying about what others thought of you and instead focused on what matters to and excites you?
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\nI’ve spent much of my life being afraid people would see me as weird. I’ve finally owned that I actually am weird to many people and this is incredibly freeing! 
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\nOne of my clients has a similar fear, but his word for himself is “whacko.”
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\nAs my client and I talked this week, he found that as he started to shed this fear over the past week he felt clear minded, sovereign and present. He said he was more effective at work and with his kids. He was enjoying sex more too!
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\nIt’s common for many people to fear that\xa0something about us will make us unlovable or unwanted.\xa0On today’s Man Alive podcast we talk about how to become alive, peaceful and free by “getting your attention off yourself!”
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\nCoach and author Tripp Lanier coaches men to get out of the rat race, become an authority in their field, and make a great living doing meaningful work they love. He wrote the book:\xa0This Book Will Make You Dangerous: The Irreverent Guide For Men Who Refuse to Settle.
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\nTripp is bold, wise and very funny. He has helped remind me what is possible in life! In this conversation we discussed:
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\n* How to be dangerous in a (good) way that enlivens your relationships, career and life* The shift in goal setting that allows you to actually feel accomplished when you reach your goals * The prey vs. hunter mentality * 3 ways people waste the most energy and vitality* The power and freedom that comes with letting go of the hope to be admired, recognized or appreciated
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\nAfter you listen, get the book and read it! It’s awesome. Tripp’s style is relatable and will make you laugh out loud as you find yourself clearer than ever about how powerful you are and the potential you have!
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\nLinks:
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\nTripp Lanier
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\nGet the Book!
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\nCurious what you’d need to become a better leader and lover? Take the quiz
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\nFor Women: Modern dating doesn’t have to be a nightmare for women
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\nBio:
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