January 13, 2023

154: The Hard No ❌

19 minutes

As I shared in last week’s solo episode, Free Time isn’t about time management or productivity, or even simply doing work more efficiently. It is about setting time free.

If our time is trapped like a bird in a cage, unless we break free of shoulds and obligations, there it will remain. We achieve this through smarter systems, and that includes getting better at saying no.

My own tendency to say yes — in an effort to be liked, to please others, to be accommodating, or even to continue trying to “do right” by my work in promoting it — leads to burnout and resentment when to many “yeses” create time confetti and tiredness. In this episode, I’m sharing strategies that I’ve picked up along the way for doing the very hard thing of disappointing others by saying no.

🌟 Key Takeaways

Do’s: Ask, “Is my focus done?”, create blanket rules, celebrate space, trust in timing and your own inner compass

Don’ts: Punt something you don’t actually want to do to your future self, spend too many thinking cycles mulling a decision, beat yourself up, cave to FOMO

📝Permission: Treat indecision as the decision that it often is: no! Separate the guilt or shoulds you feel from what your intuition is saying to you. Would you initiate this request with joy, unprompted, or are you saying yes out of obligation?

✅Do (or Delegate) This Next: Craft a graceful reply for a decision you’re facing, and don’t over-explain or defend your decision. Save your “graceful no” replies in the same place (I use Notion and TextExpander) so that you can return to them when facing the next tough no.

📘Books Mentioned:

Free Time: Lose The Busywork, Love Your Business

Pivot: The Only Move That Matters Is Your Next One

Unsubscribe: How to Kill Email Anxiety, Avoid Distractions, and Get Real Work Done by Jocelyn K. Glei

Drop the Ball: Achieving More by Doing Less by Tiffany Dufu

🎧Related Podcast Episodes:

152: Do Less — On Entropic Bloat and Business Haircuts

141: Process, Permission Slips, and Business Pivots with Tara McMullin

052: Perceived Capacity vs. Actual Capacity

106: Splatology—On Clearing Time Clutter

Pivot: 293: 🍝 Are you a Spaghetti-Twirler or a Spaghetti-Thrower?

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By Jenny Blake

4.9

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