Is there something at work you know you’re capable of… but in the moment, your nerves take over?

Whether it’s speaking up in a meeting, handling a difficult conversation, or stepping into a high-pressure situation - that disconnect between what you can do and how you feel can be incredibly frustrating.

In this episode of HR Coffee Time, I share a simple but slightly unusual technique that can help you feel calmer, more in control, and more confident when it matters most.

It's called 'distanced self-talk', and it might feel a bit strange at first – but it’s backed by research and can make a real difference in those moments where your confidence wobbles.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode

1. Why confidence can disappear in high-pressure moments
2. A simple technique that helps you step back from anxious thoughts
3. How this approach can reduce nerves and help you think more clearly
4. Practical ways to use it before and during challenging situations at work
5. Real examples of when to try it – including meetings, presentations, and interviews

Recommended Book in This Episode

1. Chatter: The Voice in Our Head (And How to Harness It) – by Ethan Kross

Useful Links from This Episode

1. Connect with Fay on LinkedIn
2. Learn about Fay’s Essential HR Planner
3. Learn about Fay’s Inspiring HR Leadership Programme

Other Relevant HR Coffee Time Episodes

1. Ep 1: How to feel more confident at work
2. Ep 16: How to become more confident about networking
3. Ep 36: Four simple but powerful techniques to banish imposter syndrome
4. Ep 43: The one thing that will boost your resilience throughout your HR career
5. Ep 49: 7 tips to help you feel more confident for your job interview
6. Ep 73: 5 ways to feel more confident in your next interview, meeting, or presentation
7. Ep 74: How to get better at presenting & feel more confident about it
8. Ep 82: 5 tips to tackle a challenge at work when you aren’t feeling confident
9. Ep 101: How to build confidence with networking for HR career success
10. Ep 122: Unlocking confidence for your HR career – 5 tips from expert guests
11. Ep 137: How to recognise & break free from the lies we tell ourselves at work
12. Ep 162: How to Feel More Confident Speaking Up in Leadership Meetings

Enjoyed This Episode? Don’t Miss the Next One!

Sign up for the free weekly HR Coffee Time email to be notified each time a new episode is released – and get free career tips, tools, and resources.

Mentioned in this episode:

Free Strategic HR Sprint

Join the free Strategic HR Sprint and set yourself up for strategic success. 5 easy-to-implement ideas delivered to your inbox across 5 days.

The Strategic HR Sprint

Kara Connect - Help When It's Needed Most

Menopause, grief, ADHD, relationship breakdown... Every day, employees dealing with these situations are turned away by their EAP because they didn't qualify for counselling. When someone finally asks for help, they deserve better. Visit Kara Connect, where no employee is ever turned away.

Kara Connect