Have you ever wondered how to help someone move forward when they’re stuck in anger?

In this episode, Jo and Zoe explore how to coach clients through anger and related emotions in a way that is safe, ethical, and transformative.

Anger can show up in coaching as a block, a motivator, or even an unrecognised emotion. We discuss how unresolved anger from the past can impact self-esteem and relationships, and how it often masks deeper feelings like sadness or fear.

Jo shares a powerful example of a client who used anger as a motivator but discovered it wasn’t emotionally sustainable.

We also talk about helping clients identify their relationship with anger, whether they’ve buried it or expressed it in unhealthy ways, and how coaching can support them to create a new, healthier approach.

Through practical steps, including naming emotions, identifying unmet needs, and exploring the relationship between anger and values, we outline how to guide clients to understand, process, and reframe their anger.

Whether it’s asking clients to "give their anger a voice" or exploring the systemic roots of their emotions, this episode is packed with actionable insights.

If you’ve ever felt hesitant to ask about anger in a session, this episode will help you approach it with confidence, curiosity, and care.

Key Lessons Learned

1. Anger is often rooted in unmet needs or value conflicts.
2. Naming and validating emotions is the first step to transformation.
3. Emotions like anger can mask deeper feelings such as sadness or fear.
4. Helping clients reframe anger as a signal, not a problem, empowers growth.
5. Closure and acceptance are essential to move forward from unresolved anger.

 

Key Takeaways

• Encourage clients to explore and name their emotions.
• Use tools like values exercises and somatic practices to process anger.
• Anger can be a motivator, but it needs to be channelled sustainably.
• Always validate emotions to create a safe, judgment-free space.
• Work on closure by helping clients let go of anger tied to past events.

 

Steps to Coach Anger and Emotions

1. Recognise and Name the Emotion
   • Ask clients, What are you feeling? or suggest possible emotions to check for alignment.
2. Explore Values
   • Identify values that may be in conflict or unmet, leading to anger.
3. Validate and Give Voice to the Emotion
   • Create a safe space for clients to express their anger without judgement.
4. Uncover the Root Cause
   • Ask deeper questions to explore what lies beneath the anger—e.g., sadness, fear, or unmet needs.
5. Identify Unmet Needs
   • Encourage clients to reflect on what their anger is highlighting as a missing or unresolved need.
6. Use Somatic Practices
   • Introduce body-based techniques to help clients connect with and release stored anger.
7. Reframe the Emotion
   • Help clients see anger as a signal or ally, guiding them to their deeper needs or values.
8. Introduce Choice
   • Explore alternative strategies or emotions that could serve them better in the situation.
9. Work on Closure and Acceptance
   • Support clients to accept and let go of anger, focusing on forgiveness or reframing past events.
10. Create a Sustainable Relationship with Anger

• Help clients define how they want to handle anger in a way that aligns with their values and goals.

 

Sample Coaching Questions for Coaching Anger

1. What are you feeling about this situation?
2. What values feel violated here?
3. What does your anger want to tell you?
4. What unmet need might your anger be pointing to?
5. On a scale of 0–10, how intense is your anger right now?
6. What lies beneath your anger? Is there fear, sadness, or something else?
7. What do you want your relationship with anger to look like?
8. If you let go of your anger, what would change for you?
9. How does anger serve or protect you in this situation?
10. What other emotions could help you navigate this experience?

 

Timestamps

• 00:13 – 00:46: Introduction—why anger is an important topic in coaching
• 01:10 – 03:53: How anger shows up in coaching sessions
• 03:54 – 05:32: The role of unmet needs and values in anger
• 05:33 – 07:20: Giving voice to anger and creating a safe space
• 08:23 – 09:48: Exploring anger’s connection to systemic issues and injustice
• 10:17 – 12:40: Closure, acceptance, and the power of forgiveness
• 13:12 – 15:00: Tools like scaling questions and reframing to manage anger
• 17:20 – 18:50: Role models for anger—exploring clients’ learned patterns
• 20:14 – 21:10: Introducing choice and creating a sustainable relationship with anger
• 21:12 – 21:38: Closing message—invitation to emotions coaching training

 

Keywords

How to coach anger, Emotional coaching techniques, Anger and values in coaching, Reframing emotions in coaching, Unmet needs and anger, Coaching somatic practices, Closure and forgiveness in coaching, How to process anger, Emotional freedom for clients, Anger as a motivator in coaching

 

Links:

Emotions Coaching Practitioner Training: www.igcompany.co.uk/emotionscoaching

 

COACHING TRAINING LEVEL 5 https://www.igcompany.co.uk/l5-diploma

COACHING TRAINING LEVEL 7 https://www.igcompany.co.uk/l7-diploma

 

Purchase our bestselling book ”Deciding to Coach”: https://amzn.to/3UvUe9r

Neurodivergent inclusive coaching programme: http://www.igcompany.co.uk/nd

Resources:

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Work with Jo Wheatley as your Emotions Coach https://www.jowheatley.com

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Connect with Jo Wheatley on LinkedIn https://uk.linkedin.com/in/joannewheatley

Work with Zoe Hawkins as your Courageous Leadership Coach https://www.zoe-hawkins.com 

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