Unrelenting Pursuit

190. The Ache to Be Secure: Anxious Attachment Explained


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In this episode, we take a deep dive into anxious attachment—what it is, how it forms, and how it quietly shapes the way we love, lead, and parent.


If you’ve ever felt afraid of being abandoned, needed constant reassurance, or found yourself overthinking every conversation or conflict, you may lean toward an anxious attachment style. Many people with anxious attachment love deeply, give generously, and care intensely—but inside, there can be a constant fear: “What if I’m not enough?”


We’ll talk about how anxious attachment shows up:


In marriage:

• Fear of rejection or abandonment

• Needing constant reassurance

• Overanalyzing your spouse’s tone, words, or actions

• Feeling like you care more than they do


In parenting:

• Struggling with fear when children pull away or gain independence

• Over-protecting or over-involving yourself in their lives

• Tying your worth to your child’s behavior or affection


In leadership:

• People-pleasing to avoid conflict

• Difficulty making firm decisions

• Taking criticism very personally

• Feeling crushed when others are disappointed


But there is hope.


God is not anxious in His love for you. He is steady, secure, and faithful.


As always, we would love to hear from you! If you need any additional information about our 2 day Marriage Reboots, Coaching, Speaking Events, or Resource click here. 

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Unrelenting PursuitBy Brad and Lisa Valencia

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