That Hoarder: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding

#199 Layers on layers: the many layers of hoarding disorder, from stuff to shame to identity

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  • Podcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ 

    • Hoarding is far more complicated than just clutter - there are layers upon layers, from the visible stacks of possessions to the hidden emotional weight, old identities, and tangled feelings of shame and secrecy.

    In this episode, I talk through what these layers actually look like, why they make healing and recovery so tough, and how recognising them can help us start to move forward.

    It’s about giving an honest look at how hoarding really is, and offering a bit of encouragement and understanding for anyone living with it.

    • Layers in Hoarding Disorder
    • Explanation of the concept of "layers"
    • Recognition of complexity in hoarding and recovery
    • Importance of understanding layers for self-awareness and change
    • Physical Layers of Stuff
    • Sorting belongings as an “archaeological dig”
    • Stories and histories attached to different layers of possessions
    • Practical observations about layers:
    • Top layer: Most recent or most-used items
    • Middle layers: Mixture of older and neglected items, representing different life periods
    • Bottom layers: Emotionally complex, broken, or “buried” items
    • How physical layers inform decluttering decisions
    • Emotional Layers in Hoarding
    • Surface emotions: annoyance, sadness, irritability
    • Deeper emotions: anxiety, fear of making wrong choices
    • Core emotions: grief, trauma, feelings of unworthiness or inadequacy
    • Guilt, anger, disappointment, and how these mix together
    • The idea of layering additional distress (as per Carolyn Spring)
    • Differentiating unavoidable pain from added self-blame
    • Focusing on agency in managing additional emotional layers
    • Cascading Layers: When Problems Create More Problems
    • Examples of problems compounding:
    • Physical issues (like leaks) made worse due to hoarding
    • Social isolation leading to more depression and worsened hoarding
    • Administrative issues (unpaid bills leading to fines)
    • Cycle of increasing overwhelm and powerlessness
    • Compassion for oneself in recognising these cycles
    • Layers of Identity
    • Complexity of personal identity in relation to hoarding
    • Public vs. private identities
    • Former, current, and future self-identities
    • The impact of possessions on perceived identity (e.g., holding onto teaching materials)
    • The difference between authentic identity and identity tied to objects
    • Layers of Time
    • Holding onto items as connections to the past
    • Present consequences of hoarding: overwhelm, panic, paralysis
    • Future-oriented worries: fear of needing items later
    • Spaces/items “frozen in time,” keeping people anchored to the past
    • Reflection on who we want to be now and in the future
    • Layers of Shame and Secrecy
    • Shame and secrecy as invisible yet heavy “layers”
    • How secrecy takes energy and perpetuates shame
    • Impact of secrecy on relationships and daily interactions
    • Barriers to seeking help caused by shame and secrecy
    • The process of being more open about hoarding
    • Navigating and Addressing the Layers
    • Emphasis on not needing to resolve all layers at once
    • The process of recognising and being patient with layers
    • Importance of support systems and therapy
    • Identifying helpful (protective or wise) layers versus harmful ones
    • Themes of self-compassion and validation for the complexity of the experience
    • Rejecting simplistic advice to “just get rid of stuff”
    • The process is about understanding and self-acceptance
    • Encouragement to approach oneself with patience and compassion
    • Closing remarks and reminders about podcast resources and support options

      • Links

      • Carolyn Spring
      • Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom session: Accountability Booking Form
      • Website: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding
      • Become a Dehoarding Darling
      • Submit a topic for the podcast to cover
      • Questions to ask when dehoarding: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/podquestions
      • Instagram: @thathoarderpodcast
      • Twitter: @ThatHoarder
      • Mastodon: @[email protected]
      • TikTok: @thathoarderpodcast
      • Facebook: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That Hoarder
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      • YouTube: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That Hoarder
      • Reddit: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That Hoarder subreddit
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