October 08, 2025

205: It’s In Your Hands: Building Emotional Resilience with Dr Jane Foster

52 minutes

In this powerful and uplifting episode of The Penis Project Podcast, Melissa Hadley Barrett is joined by Dr Jane Foster, an educator and author who’s spent more than 40 years helping people understand and manage their emotions.

Jane’s groundbreaking “steering-wheel” metaphor teaches us that while we can’t control life’s bumpy roads, we can control how we steer through them. Her simple, evidence-based approach to emotional resilience encourages us to replace judgment and blame with choice and responsibility.

Together, Melissa and Jane explore how our emotions, stress responses, and everyday habits shape mental and physical well-being — from coping with anxiety and overwhelm to managing relationship challenges and recovering from life’s rough patches.

In This Episode, We Cover:

How emotional resilience begins with understanding your “steering wheel” — you choose how you respond.

Why rough roads (stress, setbacks, grief) are vital for personal growth.

The importance of shifting language: swapping “good and bad” for “rough and smooth” to remove self-judgment.

Jane’s research on how simple daily SMS reminders transformed emotional well-being — and even saved lives.

The concept of TEPS and PETS: identifying everyday triggers (TEPS) and creating healthy coping strategies (PETS).

How partners can use this model to communicate better and manage intimacy challenges after illness or surgery.

Practical tools for dealing with overwhelm, from mindful breathing to setting boundaries and creating space for recovery.

Key Takeaways:

You can’t control the road, but you can control your steering.

Emotional resilience is a skill — built by practicing calm responses on life’s rough roads.

Reframing our language reduces guilt and self-criticism, improving relationships and mental health.

Stress, anger, and anxiety aren’t “bad” — they’re part of a healthy pulse of life.

Small daily actions (your PETS) can prevent emotional overload and support long-term well-being.

Expert Insight from Melissa Hadley Barrett

Melissa reflects on how Jane’s approach can be applied in men’s health — especially for those recovering from prostate cancer or experiencing sexual dysfunction.

Learning to recognize emotional “rough roads” and respond with awareness can make a huge difference to physical recovery, relationship harmony, and confidence.

Resources & Links:

Dr Jane Foster

Website: emotionalresiliencetraining.com.au

Book: It’s In Your Hands – Your Steering Wheel, Your Choice (available via website & Audible)

Follow Jane on Instagram, Facebook & LinkedIn

Book a telehealth consult with our sexual health nurse practitioners at Restorative Health Clinic

For more information check out our websites www.rshealth.com.au , www.makehardeasy.com.au and www.melissahadleybarrett.com

Listen & Subscribe

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LinkedIn: Melissa Hadley Barrett

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TEDX

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IjHj1YTmLoA

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By Sexologist Melissa Hadley Barrett

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