This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit smokeempodcast.substack.com

Nancy and Sarah talk with Leigh Stein, whose recent Substack essay might be the best thing to come out of the Lindy West discourse. Entitled “I Escaped Bluebeard’s Castle. Lindy West Didn’t,” the essay describes an abusive relationship from Leigh’s past and sheds light on the painful accommodations some of us make to keep love - or its simulacrum - in our lives. No strangers to overdramatic relationships, the gals then take a trip down the memory lane of terrible boyfriends, the insecurities that make people act like creeps and victims, and the trap that is the public persona.

Also discussed:

* Virginity as liability

* Love addiction = the frothy dilemma of it all

* Nancy’s theory of Lindy West’s self-sabotage

* The Sylvia Plath and Ted Hughes school of romance

* Sarah is a sucker for a tough childhood

* That time Leigh contemplated a three-way

* “I remember going to a psychic …”

* An addiction to Intervention

* Rescuing someone over and over makes them weaker, then bitter

* Who do you become if you stop solving other people’s problems?

* What would Dan Savage say?

* Heather Havrilesky, preach!

Plus, polyamory as a conceptual art project, Nancy’s dad’s tough love, contemplating the many meanings of “the love hole,” and much more!

Announcements galore:

Go see Leigh in conversation with our beloved Kat Rosenfield, at the Darien Library on Tuesday, April 21, 7-8pm. Details here.

It’s the first Sunday of the month so you (if not Nancy) recall what that means: First Sunday Zoom, 5pm PT / 8pm ET, come celebrate Easter evening with us. Zoom link for paid subscribers will be sent the day-of.

How long does it take to make coffee? Nancy is thinking eight minutes, the average time of her new weekly mini-series, New York Stories. Paid subscribers get it delivered hot and tasty Sundays at 8am.

No April Fool’s joke. Life is better as a paid subscriber.