if you’ve ever desperately tried to prove yourself to others or to yourself, this episode is for you. today we are discussing the underlying paradoxes and unmet needs at play when we are in the zone of trying to prove and justify ourselves.

tldr: you deserve to pursue things irrespective of the outcome; the people meant for you will love you irrespective of your "success" (which itself is a cultural myth); sometimes proving ourselves is a cry for love; when we cling to the need to prove ourselves, we allow our sense of self to be swallowed by other people's and society's expectations of us.

ADVICE COLUMN:

☎️ seeking advice and want to PHONE IN with a question? ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠submit a voicemail here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.

📩 OR WRITE IN an advice question anonymously at the ⁠⁠⁠ASK Ayanda form⁠ here⁠⁠.

🎥: Watch the video of this episode on Spotify or YouTube.

Time stamps

(03:56): The paradox of proving ourselves

(13:15): Attaching our worth to the outcome

(17:17): Sacrificing the magic of the process

(23:02): Losing ourselves

(25:40): Lack of genuine support 

(30:02): Self-denial

(33:30): Journaling questions

(34:13): Write a letter to yourself 

☎️ seeking advice and want to phone in with a question? submit a voicemail here (https://www.speakpipe.com/ayandastood) 

🎥: Watch the video of this episode on Spotify or YouTube.

Sources mentioned: 

Bio: J. Krishnamurti text quoted here

Book: You Are a Goddess by Sophie Bashford

Join the community: 

my newsletter: ayandastood.substack.com please join me here!

Every Sunday: Join showing up together, a virtual working session every Sunday on Zoom from 9am-12pm EST.

Follow me at @ayandastood on TikTok and @ayandastood on IG