Psychologists Off the Clock

258. How to Have a Kid and a Life with Erika Souter


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Women and gender-expansive individuals are often expected to take on the largest portion of emotional labor, home-making, and parenting work. This and a myriad of other unrealistic expectations contribute to #secretparenting and the “motherhood penalty,” leaving women and gender-expansive individuals to suffer and fall behind their white, cis-gender, male counterparts. Ericka Sóuter is a nationally recognized voice in parenting news and parenting advice. On this episode of POTC, she and Jill discuss the challenges mothers often face in their parenting journey and provide practical, realistic advice for facing those challenges. Join us in this episode to learn the research behind caring for yourself first, how to use mom-judgment for good and not evil, statistics behind #secretparenting, and much more today!

Listen and Learn:
  • Jill and Yael’s experiences with the challenging elements of parenting
  • How Ericka came upon the title of her book
  • The unmet or unrealistic expectations about parenthood
  • The evidence-based place to start improving your experience with parenthood and overwhelm
  • What the research says about caring for your own well-being before that of your child’s
  • Practical advice for building a community of “the right mom friends” during even the busiest, most hectic of times
  • Expert-approved advice for using mom-judgment for good and not evil
  • The disturbing statistics behind #secretparenting and practical advice for how to engage with the “motherhood penalty”
  • Why the frequency of sex may decrease during and after pregnancy and how to ensure it rebounds down the road
  • Resources:
    • Grab your copy of Ericka’s book, How to Have a Kid and a Life: A Survival Guide!
    • Check out Ericka’s articles
    • Learn more about #secretparenting
    • The C-Suite: 70% of top male earners in the US have a spouse who stays home
    • Grab your copy of all our favorite books at bookshop.org/shop/offtheclockpsych.
    • Check out DebbieDianaYael, and Jill’s websites to access their offerings, sign up for their newsletters, buy their books, and more! 
    • About: 

      Ericka Sóuter is a nationally recognized voice in parenting news and parenting advice. She has over 20 years of journalism experience and is a frequent contributor on Good Morning America and other national broadcast outlets, where it’s her job to speak to parents across the country about the issues, controversies, and trends most affecting families today. Her new book is How to Have a Kid and a Life: A Survival Guide. Ericka’s work appears on the Bump, What to Expect, CafeMom, and Mom.com, all high-traffic parenting sites that reach millions of moms each month. Her writing has also been featured in People magazine, Us Weekly, Essence, Cosmopolitan, Self and WebMD. She received her bachelor’s degree from Georgetown University and master’s degree from the Columbia University Graduate School of Journalism.

      Related Episodes: 
      • Episode 87. Cribsheet with Emily Oster 
      • Episode 247. Find Your Unicorn Space with Eve Rodsky 
      • Episode 185. Good Guys: Allies in the Workplace with Brad Johnson and David Smith 
      • Episode 245. Family Firm with Emily Oster
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        Psychologists Off the ClockBy Debbie Sorensen, Jill Stoddard, Yael Schonbrun, Michael Herold & Emily Edlynn

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