Psychologists Off the Clock

276. Assertive Communication Skills with Randy Paterson


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Assertive communication is one of the most important skills when it comes to human relationships. Be it in the workplace, with family, or in friendships, it is a skill that you must learn to develop in order to communicate in ways that are respectful, clear, and effective. Without assertive communication, your goals will be difficult to meet.

Joining us for this episode is Randy Paterson, Psychologist, Director of Changeways Clinic, and Author of The Assertiveness Workbook. Randy breaks down the significance of assertive communication and associated misconceptions, when assertiveness is not always the best approach, and the different communication styles you can use to confidently express your needs, wants, and opinions in your personal and professional life. 


Listen and Learn: 

  • What assertive communication skills are and why they are important 
  • How people can benefit from practicing assertive communication skills
  • When assertive communication isn't always the best approach 
  • Randy’s thoughts on picking your battles 
  • The challenges that come with assertive communication 
  • Understanding the different communication styles and how to use them
  • The link between control and assertive communication 
  • Analyzing gender-related differences in communication styles
  • The specifics of assertive communication and examples 
  • How to structure requests for desired outcomes 
  • The best way to give and receive feedback, both positive and negative


  • Resources: 

    • Learn more about Randy at his webpage: https://www.randypaterson.com/
    • Check out Randy’s books The Assertiveness Workbook, How to be Miserable, How to be Miserable in Your Twenties, Private Practice Made Simple, and Your Depression Map
    • Read Debbie’s blog post on Assertive Communication
    • Grab your copy of all our favorite books at bookshop.org/shop/offtheclockpsych, including Yael’s new book, Work, Parent, Thrive! 
    • Check out Debbie, Yael, and Jill’s websites to access their offerings, sign up for their newsletters, buy their books, and more!


    • About Randy Paterson: Dr. Randy Paterson is a psychologist in Vancouver, British Columbia. He is the director of Changeways Clinic; and provides training programs across Canada and internationally on evidence-based mental health practice. He is the author of several books, including: How to Be Miserable, How to Be Miserable in Your Twenties, Private Practice Made Simple, and The Assertiveness Workbook, which is now in its second edition. He offers courses for professionals and the public through his online teaching website, psychologysalon.teachable.com



      Related Episodes: 

      • 216. Managing Anger and Irritability, Featuring Russell Kolts
      • 246. Burnout and Boundaries with Tammie Chang
      • 252. Getting the Help You Need, with Us
      • 255. Influence is Your Superpower with Zoe Chance 
      • Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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