Mom and Mind

280: Emotional Journey Through Loss to Surrogacy and Spontaneous Pregnancy


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Today’s episode sheds light on the truth that we never know what someone has been through, especially regarding the journey to parenthood. It’s so easy, and often inaccurate, to assume that another person’s path has been somehow easier than our own. My guest’s story includes many elements, including infertility, recurrent pregnancy loss, and the decision to use a surrogate, also known as a gestational carrier. A beautiful part of her story is that her best friend chose to carry her twins for her, and a spontaneous pregnancy added another happy plot twist to the mix. Join us for Katelin’s story.

Katelin Buchanan is a Licensed Professional Counselor in Virginia with extensive experience treating those with anxiety, depression, trauma, substance abuse disorders, and major life transitions. She is passionate about working with women coping with infertility, pregnancy loss, and perinatal mood and anxiety disorders. She co-founded a private practice, Women’s Therapy & Wellness, that treats women virtually throughout the state of Virginia. She has completed advanced perinatal mental health training through Postpartum Support International, serves as a volunteer with Postpartum Support-Virginia, and is trained in both EMDR and perinatal IPT. 


Show Highlights:

  • Katelin’s journey: knowing something was “off,” PCOS, multiple IUIs, IVFs, and recurrent pregnancy loss in a five-year struggle to have a child
  • How her best friend, Erica, offered to carry her baby–but had a miscarriage on the first attempt
  • How Katelin began therapy along her journey and reached a point where she couldn’t continue
  • How Erica carried Katelin’s twins, who are now five-years-old
  • The emotional toll of the infertility journey 
  • Why Katelin had to withdraw from many people to protect her mental health
  • How a local Resolve support group helped Katelin have an outlet
  • How she dealt with the anger that came with her journey
  • How she became spontaneously pregnant when her twins were 2-½ after being told it would never happen for her
  • How Katelin had severe postpartum anxiety and did a lot of grief work with her therapist
  • What it’s like to be the intended parent in a surrogacy/gestational carrier situation
  • Katelin’s advice about taking a self-care audit and finding joy in life

  • Resources:

    Connect with Katelin Buchanan: Website

    Visit www.postpartum.net for resources and support! 

    Visit www.postpartum.net/professionals/certificate-trainings/ for information on the grief course.  

    Visit my website, www.wellmindperinatal.com, for more information, resources, and courses you can take today!

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    Mom and MindBy Katayune Kaeni, Psy.D., PMH-C

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