Psychologists Off the Clock

284. Things We Love with Aaron Ahuvia


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We often form deep emotional relationships with things that are important to us, from cherished items to hobbies and more materialistic possessions. But why do we become so emotionally attached to the things that we love and how does this affect our lives?


Here to delve deeper into the topic and talk about his book, The Things We Love: How Our Passions Connect Us and Make Us Who We Are, is author and expert on non-interpersonal love, Dr. Aaron Ahuvia. We explore the psychology of how passions shape our identity and connect us in meaningful ways, as well as offer advice for optimizing how we love and use our things to live more value-aligned lives.


Listen and Learn: 
  • Is the word 'love' accurate in describing how we feel, or is it just hyperbole?
  • The parallels that exist in relationships between people and the relationships between people and the objects that they love 
  • Why do we get more frustrated with objects we love than the people we love?
  • The ability to love things isn't a flaw in human nature, but rather a useful trait
  • Loving things can detract from loving people - how to find the balance 
  • What can materialistic people do to love things more deeply?
  • Letting go of objects that you are emotionally attached to
  • How attachment styles with people translate to our attachment style with objects 
  • Tips for using our things in more value-aligned ways


  • Resources:
    • Visit Dr. Aaron Ahuvia’s site for more on his work: https://thethingswelove.com/about-aaron/
    • Sign up for Aaron’s blog: https://thethingswelove.com/subscribe/
    • For even more insights on the things we love, check out Aaron’s article on Peace, Love, and Happiness (and Marketing): https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/peace-love-and-happiness-and-marketing
    • Grab your copy of all our favorite books at bookshop.org/shop/offtheclockpsych, including Yael’s new book, Work, Parent, Thrive!
    • Check out Debbie, Yael, and Jill’s websites to access their offerings, sign up for their newsletters, buy their books, and more!


    • About Dr. Aaron Ahuvia

      Dr. Aaron Ahuvia is the most widely published and cited academic expert on non-interpersonal love. 

      A scientific study listed him as one of the top 20 most influential scientists studying consumer behavior, out of thousands US researchers working on related topics.

      Dr. Ahuvia has been at the forefront of this research since he published the first major scientific study on this topic entitled I Love It! Towards a Unifying Theory of Love Across Diverse Love Objects, over twenty years ago. Professor Ahuvia has over 100 academic papers and conference presentations. His research has been quoted in Time, The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, Glamour, and major publications in Europe and Japan. Dr. Ahuvia has also appeared on public radio talk shows as well as popular Television shows such as the Oprah Winfrey Show.


      Related Episodes:
      • Episode 196. The Neuroscience of Marketing with Matt Johnson and Prince Ghuman
      • Episode 249. How to Be Single & Happy with Jenny Taitz 
      • Episode 255. Influence is Your Superpower with Zoe Chance 
      • Episode 281. Belonging Uncertainty and Bridging Divides with Geoffrey Cohen 
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        Psychologists Off the ClockBy Debbie Sorensen, Jill Stoddard, Yael Schonbrun, Michael Herold & Emily Edlynn

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