Toxic relationships are infectious disease, people poison you from the inside out with their gaslighting, manipulation,  and constant drama. And many years ago, I ran into an old boyfriend at the mall and I stopped to do the niceties, “Good to see you. I hope you're doing well.” 

You know, the drill and I was very careful to not say, or do anything with that would engage him any longer than need to be. And just, as I was walking away, he looked me straight in the eyes with the same piercing look that he would give me when he was trying to manipulate me, and he said this, “Do you ever wonder?” And I knew what he was asking. If you wanted to find out if I missed him, and in the past, I would get sucked back into that relationship with him with his romantic questions and his dramatic dreams. 

But I was a long past that, at this point, so I played his game and I repeated his question, back to him, “Do I ever wonder?” I answered,  Yes,  Yes. I do. I wondered what on Earth was going on inside of me to put up with such a lying, manipulative person. I wondered how pathetic that I have to be to take the scraps that you offered me and call that a relationship. I wondered how sad I was to settle for someone who only cared about himself. So, yeah, I've wondered. 

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