Listen in this week as I am joined by not just one guest but two - Matthew and Joanna Raabsmith, authors of the new book Building True Intimacy: Creating a Connection That Stands the Test of Time, a project which they themselves refer to as a labor of love. Together, Joanna and Matthew openly share their journey of rebuilding their marriage after Matthew revealed his struggles with sexual addiction and pornography. They go beyond just surviving to thriving, offering insights into how to create a thriving connection that doesn’t just survive the bumps but actually grows stronger through them. Their approach isn’t about perfecting your partner or expecting them to "fix" your emotional triggers but rather about learning how to heal and grow together.

Listen in as we talk about the importance of small daily moments and how a simple interaction, like how we deal with frustration or small disagreements, can either draw us closer or create distance. They, for example, share some powerful insights into their own struggles with emotional dysregulation and how it often leads to disconnection, but it isn't just about avoiding the pitfalls. It’s also about learning how to show up as emotionally healthy individuals and what it takes to keep the relationship itself thriving!

Hear how Joanna and Matthew learned to handle some tough topics like finances and how taking a step back to understand each other’s emotional states can truly transform conversations. We also discuss their “animacy pyramid,” a framework which they developed to conceptualize what makes a truly thriving relationship.

Whether you’re struggling with small daily challenges or looking for ways to deepen your emotional connection, this episode is packed with real wisdom that can help shift the way you approach love, intimacy, and your partnership. If you're in a relationship or thinking about what it takes to make love last, you will not want to miss this conversation, and be sure to grab a copy of their book!

In This Episode

[0:35] - This episode’s guests are authors of the book Building True Intimacy, Matthew and Joanna Raabsmith!

[1:43] - After overcoming betrayal and addiction, Matthew and Joanna's book helps guide couples toward thriving relationships.

[4:14] - Maintaining emotional regulation leads to lasting connection, regardless of the issue or situation.

[7:57] - Hear how Matthew learned that projecting insecurity onto others can affect the health of relationships.

[10:23] - Emotional dependency in relationships can cause disconnection and halt personal growth.

[12:42] - I have realized that self-worth should come from within, not from external validation.

[15:45] - Joanna believes that healthy compromise means finding mutually beneficial solutions, not taking turns losing.

[18:58] - To build a strong relationship, it's important to address underlying fears prior to discussing practical issues.

[22:35] - Matthew adds that finding common ground in core values helps couples overcome differences.

[24:11] - Joanna argues that taking a step back from pain helps you recognize that your partner does still care.

[27:14] - Building a thriving relationship requires honesty, safety, trust, vulnerability, and persistent effort.

[30:59] - Ultimately, small, daily choices significantly shape the resilience of a marriage.

Links & Resources

Crystal Paine

Books

Building True Intimacy: Creating a Connection That Stands the Test of Time by Joanna Raabsmith & Matthew Raabsmith

Social Media

Crystal Paine on Instagram (@moneysavingmom)

Crystal Paine on Instagram (@crystaliscleaning)

Crystal Paine on LinkedIn

Crystal Paine on Twitter

Crystal Paine on Goodreads

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